It is not the believers business to decide who is saved and who is not in the church. However it is our business to point out sin in the body when we see it. We might even challenge someone to ask God if they are saved because there doesn't seem to be any shame over sin.
Hebrews 12:5-7
"…5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, or lose heart when He rebukes you. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises everyone He receives as a son.” 7 Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?…"
In Matthew 7:21-23 God warns us that many will think they are saved, only to be turned away when they get to the judgement.
Matthew 7:21-23 "21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"
We are not to decide who is saved and who is not when they claim to be believers, but we can boldly declare their sin that has already been judged by God.
On another thread there was a discussion about the rate of divorce and the economy. Apparently someone gave statistics to show that there are more divorces when the economy is good.
Sure there are more divorces when the economy is good because splitting and making it financially is easier.
Not to mention in our day when women have left the home to make money they have considered that money their own. The man puts his earnings into the family kitty while the wife does not. This is often the case.
I have made some money over the years from my home, anything I made went into the family coffers just like my husbands earnings. What's his is mine and whats mine is his. That's how it works when two people become one in marriage.
When we become one in marriage, all aspects of life should be shared by one another. We do not do everything together but we work together for the household. If my husband is suffering I suffer with him. If he is prosperous we are thankful together. We share the decisions as well as everything else.
No one in the relationship in marriage should get all they want while the other has no choice in it. It is narcissistic to expect one party to make all the decisions and the other to trail along like a puppy dog without needs.
Sorry if this makes some control freaks mad, truth is truth. If you are controlling all things without seeking your spouses input and desires, then you are selfish and unbiblical. Man had a rip taken from his side, not the bottom of his foot.
"A genuine Christian after divorce will miss and mourn his family until he/she dies." John Wesley
Yes, when our arm gets chopped off our body actually responds with phantom feelings that it is still there. Marriage is like that too! When a living spouse is not with us we still have the sense that they are around because we are joined in spirit as one. Our spirits are glued with a spiritual glue that can never be severed by man.
Our Christian culture today does not understand this principle. The culture has become so hardened that they can hop from person to person as though there was no connection at all in the marriage. They are either in denial or lying to themselves to further harden themselves.
It is not possible to live with someone as a spouse and feel nothing about their removal when they are still alive......unless the heart is very hard.
Trying to withhold something that someone never had is easier than taking away something someone has always had....much harder indeed.
Divorce and remarriage
Abortion
Self Esteem
And much more!
Back in the day when everyone knew divorce and remarriage was scandalous no one became angry when someone spoke against these things.
Now we have most people shouting "don't judge" when someone speaks against these evils. YES I said that, "these evils."
The 40's generation believes that abortion is a constitutional right, its not true but they believe it.
Anyone speaking against self esteem these days will be mocked, dismissed and ignored because they preach what the Bible says about self exaltation.
We are living in the last days full of deception, heightened feelings of superiority and selfishness. Nearly everyone now believes they have a right to be worshiped and pampered.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."
My husband and I could have named off pages of sins against each other over the years to justify splitting. Since we don't believe in divorce we worked through all of them. Now we have a great marriage of 47 years and getting better all the time.
Relatives even tried to convince my husband through favoritism that there was something wrong with me, but they failed because he has lived with me many years and knows me.
Triangulation is the term used for those who gossip to others warning them about another person without evidence of what they say.
Often the narcissist will build up in their own mind what they want to believe about their target, none of which is true, in order to justify their contempt for them.
If you are treated with contempt because you spoke the truth and the narcissist didn't like it, count it all joy that they are not in your life anymore.
Pray for God to deal with the narcissist while you move on to become the person God meant for you to be. Never allow the narcissist to interject into your marriage.
When the gossip flies and the hate progresses, it is time to move on to a new life without these destroyers of good.
Remember the feather pillow? The one someone took to the top of a high hill on a windy day and slit open to allow the feathers to fly? Yes that one! No one will ever be able to gather up all those feathers again, they have flown so far we cannot even see where they went. This is a picture of the effects of gossip.
One way to discern a gossip is the refusal to discuss their "concerns" with the one they gossip about. They even deny they gossiped when confronted.
Stay away from these people. They will accuse us of gossiping when we tell a trusted friend what was done to us, when they are the gossips. Accusing others of doing what the narcissist does but the others are not, is common.
Proverbs 19:9
"A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish."
John 8:44
"You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
Proverbs 14:5
"A faithful witness does not lie, but a false witness breathes out lies."
The favored mindset of the narcissist is to justify their hatred by convincing themselves of things that are not true.
Notice something about this modern generation of adult children? They want our money and our things but not our wisdom that got us those things.
I do not lend money to adult children. If we were dead they wouldn't have that resource anyway.
Adult children must learn to make their own way and figure out their own stuff.
By the way, if they wanted advice I would freely help them with the wisdom of what worked for me. They don't need money they need the wisdom, but sadly its the wisdom they don't want.
Asking for wisdom doesn't get them what they want, but the money will. So....the wisdom is always available but the money....not so much.
