I was told by a "Christian man" that I was rebellious because I believe husband and wife should discuss things to come to an agreement, with each party considering the other.
He tried to talk my husband into controlling me better because I dared to express my opinions to men. His idea was that the man makes all the decisions and the wife remains silent and just supports whatever the husband wants.
This is not a marriage; this is a slave master relationship, not at all Biblical. The wives are to submit when the husband makes a final decision but the husband should never make a final decision without the counsel and input of the wife.
If the husband is disobeying God, then the wife is responsible to decline to follow the sin of the husband. She is to counsel him not to sin, and if he ignores her, then she refuses to sin along with him. God commanded the wife to obey her husband in all things he does that honors God; she is never to obey anyone who asks her to sin.
Acts 5:29 "29 But Peter and the other apostles replied, “We must obey God rather than men."
One example in the Bible of a couple who collaborated to disobey God by lying to the Holy Spirit is Annanias and Sapphirah. The wife encouraged her husband to do what he wanted to, and they were both killed by God for lying to the Holy Spirit.
Acts 5:1-11 is the story of this couple who lied together and died together.
The woman is never to engage with the husband in sin; if she does, she is also guilty. If she does not follow her husband in sin, then he alone bears the guilt of his own sin.
No woman will stand before the Lord on judgment day defending her sin because her husband told her to do it. Each person will stand alone for their own choices; no one forces anyone to sin. Yes, there may be consequences of emotional or physical abuse for the woman when she declines to obey a wicked husband, but God must always come before her husband.
Just as the sin of the father will not be accounted to the son, so also the sin of the husband will not be accounted to the wife if she obeys God and does not allow her husband to lead her into sin.
Ezekiel 18:19-23 "The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself."
This passage was referring to the father son relationship, but pertains to all human relationships.
2 Kings 14:6
"Yet he did not put the sons of the murderers to death, but acted according to what is written in the Book of the Law of Moses, where the LORD commanded: “Fathers must not be put to death for their children, and children must not be put to death for their fathers; each is to die for his own sin.”
Romans 14:12
"So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God."
Galatians 6:5
"For each one should carry his own load."
Matthew 16:27
"For the Son of Man will come in His Father’s glory with His angels, and then He will repay each one according to what he has done."
"The Bible explicitly states that "there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus," emphasizing spiritual equality. This inclusion of women in the term "sons of God" emphasizes their equal standing and importance in God's kingdom." Biblical Definition
There are different roles for men and women in certain cases; however, the roles do not make one above another. Each one chooses to obey God in their role, and they are not intimidated by others. No one has authority over another individual; only the Holy Spirit has this ultimate Authority.
We should heed the direction and teaching of leaders in the church and in other venues of life, but only as they obey God. In other words, we will agree with, counsel and come alongside those who obey God.
Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ"
1 Thessalonians 5:11 "11 Therefore, encourage and build one another up, just as you are already doing."
Hebrews 3:13
"But exhort one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness."
Romans 14:19
"So then, let us pursue what leads to peace and to mutual edification."
Colossians 3:16
"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God."
Everyone who is filled with the Holy Spirit, man, woman, or child, is commanded to edify one another, choosing to obey God in their roles without intimidation or force.
Mark 10:42-45
"42 Calling them to Himself, Jesus *said to them, “You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles domineer over them; and their people in high position exercise authority over them.
43 But it is not this way among you; rather, whoever wants to become prominent among you shall be your servant;
44 and whoever wants to be first among you shall be slave of all.
45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
