So many people are saying "there is power in prayer", at closer inspection we can see that this statement is not correct.
There is no power in prayer, there is however power in Christ. It matters who we pray to, if we pray to a false god or pray into the air as if our own words have power, then we have idols. Only prayer to God in the name of Christ has power and only if we are praying in His will.
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Psychology Destroys Christianity
The arrogance in our world is building layer upon layer, solidifying in the minds of those who elevate self, that they are worthy of great praise and special rights of passage.
God speaks often in His Word about the insolent pride we will see growing in the end days. 2 Timothy 3 is probably one of the most relevant Scripture of all, for our time. It describes the mentality of most people, even those who claim to be "Christian" will buy into the lie that they are special and deserve whatever they want, justifying all their sinfulness, even bludgeoning those who have discerned what they are to demean and dismiss them as full of insanity. There is an intolerance for correction, rebuke and admonition. This intolerance creates weak minded ignorant people, uninformed about basic principles of the Bible. Our culture has replaced the principles of the Bible with a mixture of a little Bible and a whole lot of secular psychology, devaluing the Biblical principle by overshadowing it with humanistic ideas concocted by ungodly, God rejecting men.
All this mess of arrogance and insolent pride is blinding the eyes of most. So many are still placing their trust in psychology and the government to save and preserve their freedoms. They are not aware of the spiritual problems that run rampant through our culture, because of these hedonistic ideas.
Because of the reluctance to judge anything as wrong, even though the Bible clearly tells us to judge all things, the people will not stand up boldly for God's principles, also because most do not know God's principles, they have been deeply indoctrinated with psychology so that they cannot discern truth when it walks up and bites them on the nose. We end up with a culture that protects the evil man while leaving the righteous man without advocacy. The wicked man is surrounded by affirmation and adulation while the righteous one is demeaned and dismissed.
Our nation has accepted the evil, thinking it's good, even in our politics.
We have been covertly conquered by an Islamic dictator, however, the people are afraid to admit it. Because they will not admit it, they will not take any measures to remove him.
Indoctrination is a powerful thing, we have lived with freedom so long, we forget that there are people out there who are working hard to take away that freedom. We cannot see what is happening as a country, because our noses are so deeply entrenched in worldly pleasure, all our mind is able to wrap around is what we are fed by the media day in and day out. All of this is a direct result of ignoring God. We add His principles into our thinking when it serves our purpose and ignore all the other Scripture that tells us to do more difficult things to maintain a godly culture.
There is strong evidence that our government has been covertly infiltrated and dominated by a dictator, however, few have the strength to say so. Our constitution is being trashed, ignored and demeaned as never before in our history, the congress is acting as a figure head much like the queen of England, present but having no power.
Our culture bought into the lie that if we are just nice enough to our enemies they will like us and stop playing unfairly. This intellectual travesty has allowed evil people to gain a foothold and grow in power. Sadly many people believe that Christianity is a system that wins people through continual capitulation of rights and principles, surrendering to the enemy, without challenge, in our personal lives as well as our government.
Christ allowed Himself to be walked on and demeaned at times, even to the cross, but many times in His ministry he rebuked, corrected, even taking a whip to the evil men who defiled His Father's house. He called men "white washed tombs", He called Judas a devil, rebuked the devil that motivated Peter to deny Him, boldly told the woman at the well all her sins, called the Pharisees "brood of vipers." Why is it that we remember all the meek things Christ did while forgetting and negating all the times He rebuked harshly, even non-believers. There will be those who say, "He can do that He is God." Yes, but remember we have Him living in us, He tells us what we need to know, we no longer depend on our own mind, we are suppose to think with the mind of Christ.
1 Corinthians 2:16 "For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, THAT HE WILL INSTRUCT HIM? But we have the mind of Christ."
I have heard that meekness should not be translated as weakness, but rather "power under control." Perhaps Christians like to appear weak, then they never have to do anything difficult. They can smile sweetly, pretend they don't care and feel humble and martyr-like. When we don't take care of business, calling things what they really are, we can feel superior in doing it, while never having to face the hatred of those who walk sinfully.
Matthew 10:22 ""You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved."
Psychology has permeated our culture to such a degree that we have found it advantageous to throw out the wisdom of the Old Testament that tells us how to handle wicked men, and none of them tell us to be "friendly" to them. We are either told to rebuke them or get away from them. Perhaps the problem is that we have been indoctrinated in psychology so long, we can no longer discern when someone is an evil or destructive person.
Psychology teaches that there is no bad human being only hurting ones. This is not Biblical. God shows us clearly that there are evil men and that they will become worse as we reach the end.
All one has to do to find out truth is go to the Word, type in the words "evil men" or "wicked men" and read them while asking the Holy Spirit to show you. There is no question we are not to allow evil men to prevail over us or our families. We are to handle them, sometimes it is to rebuke them sharply and other times it is to remove ourselves because they will listen to nothing, even becoming more evil in their tactics because of their obsession to control others.
Perhaps along with our desire to become sweet and loving as a believer, we should also balance it with "power under control"
concepts. We have effectively allowed our culture to become desperately evil by caring more about being liked than we do about justice and righteousness.
I could list all the verses and passages that pertain here, but it is not necessary, all of you have Bibles, go to them and prayerfully search the scriptures to find out if any of this is true. Then begin to ask the Lord to give you the mind of Christ, that you might be in obedience to Him. Be sure to care more about being holy than you do about being liked by others.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Resolving Problems Takes Prayer
We must be Biblically wise and Holy Spirit led to know when to speak and when not to speak. We meet people all the time who covertly attempt to manipulate us, by leaving out important information or twisting the truth a little to appear to be something they are not, or to deny what they know to be true.
When we are faced with dishonesty in a relationship it erodes trust, making it difficult if not impossible to resolve anything. Often those who don't want to talk anything out, are walking in pride, more interested in maintaining their image than developing a quality close relationship.
When we care deeply about someone we want truth to be a dominate part of our relationships. It is only through truth, confession and repentance that we can resolve relationship problems. When one party is willing to discuss things and the other is not, then there is no chance of resolving conflict or destructive behavior, distrust grows to further damage.
Ephesians 5:1-21
"5 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;
2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
7 Therefore do not be partakers with them;
8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light
9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth),
10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;
12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.
13 But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.
14 For this reason it says,"
“Awake, sleeper, And arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you.”
15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise,
16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,
19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;
20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father;
21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."
"5 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;
2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
7 Therefore do not be partakers with them;
8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light
9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth),
10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;
12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.
13 But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.
14 For this reason it says,"
“Awake, sleeper, And arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you.”
15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise,
16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,
19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;
20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father;
21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
OH NO, Another Book of Heresy
OH NO, not another one!!! I am still getting over "The Prayer of Jabez", "The Shack" and "The Purpose Driven Life." Authors think they can make up anything they like and God will bless it.
The book "Jesus Calling" is another new age book by a woman who claims to get special messages from God. I can't tell you the number of books over the years that were deceptive, misleading and downright heretical, that sadly many believers embraced.
This book, according to others who have read it, is fraught with heresy and new age teachings including channeling, allowing a spirit to speak to her while she writes down what the spirit says.
God is clear that any "new revelation" not already in the Word is nothing more than adding to God's Word and therefore forbidden.
Revelation 22:8 "I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book,"
Matthew 24:24 "For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect. "
1 Corinthians 4:6 "Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, so that in us you may learn not to exceed what is written, so that no one of you will become arrogant in behalf of one against the other."
Bottom line: There is no need for any new revelation, everything we have is in the Word of God inspired by Him and complete. Anything added to the Word is sin worthy of rejection.
The End is Very Near
Here is where we are folks, with one difference, this is the final judgment for the entire world. The saints will be taken out soon and the wrath of God will begin.
Monday, January 25, 2016
Wicked Prophets Abound
I attended a "prophecy conference" once in a small town we lived in. I thought I was attending a Bible study, what I encountered was devastating foolishness. The prophecy wasn't anything to do with the end times, but rather a charlatan working his wiles on weak minded people looking for a spiritual high.
A man in the pulpit told idiotic stories, made the people laugh all through the preaching, told everyone they had a wonderful prediction for their life and invited them to line up to hear their personal prediction.
I was shaking my head all the way through the non-sense, the preacher noticed that I was disapproving of him, called me out in the middle of the preaching to mock me in front of a couple of hundred people. He then saw my son sitting next to me, calling him out, inviting him to come up to the podium. I told him not to go and he didn't. After the meeting a friend overheard this foolish preacher telling someone that my son was going to commit suicide.
After the preaching this miserable preacher had the people line up, the line was very long, to hear their prediction. Everyone got a special story for their life, all good and wonderful. The smiling faces and laughing voices were like clanging symbols to me.
One lady in the mess was discouraged, because when she was next in line to hear her prediction, the preacher told her he knew she like to bake cookies. The woman was portly and grandmotherly looking, she told him she didn't bake cookies, he then treated her with dismissiveness, even mocking her. I was so glad that woman saw the evil of this wicked man.
One thing I noticed in all this is that everyone who was excited to hear the preacher and have their fortune predicted, were given a good report, a slap on the back and went away happy. The one person, me, who did not approve was called out for ridicule and an evil prediction was given for my son.
One way to expose a wicked person is to disapprove of their actions or words and watch what comes out of them. They are enraged and vindictive when anyone challenges their authority or reveals their lies.
Proverbs 6:12-16 "A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:"
No New Prophecy
Please do not place on my wall anything having to do with self proclaimed modern day "prophetesses" or "prophets." All prophecy has already been written in the word of God, there is nothing new needed for the believer to live by faith.
Matthew 12:39"But He answered and said to them, "An evil and adulterous generation craves for a sign; and yet no sign will be given to it but the sign of Jonah the prophet;"
2 Corinthians 5:6-10 "6 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil."
I understand the temptation to learn about our fate here on earth and what we might do to thwart anything coming against us, but lets remember that we are not a people who are worried about our fate, we know that whatever we go through will be in God's hands.
We also know that if the Lord has a plan to hide us from difficulty, He may not tell us ahead of time, He will just say to us one day, "I want you to go here", even without us knowing why we are going to a place, it may be a place of protection. Often our life circumstances change, it isn't until later down the road that we see why. He may also not protect our bodies from hardship, we know this because very godly believers get ill are rejected by family and encounter many life difficulties, they are blessings from God to build our character and stretch our spiritual muscles. God always protects our spirit, but may not protect our bodies or circumstances.
If God ordains that we go through hard things, then we need to remember that He knew all about it before it came to us and will give us strength to go through it.
Isaiah 40:29 "29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."
Psalm 29:11 "The LORD will give strength to His people; The LORD will bless His people with peace."
The peace we have is not physical peace but rather Spiritual, the strength we have is not physical strength but Spiritual. Christ is our peace and our strength. We tend to focus on the physical often, thinking we have no peace because of the life we live and that we have no strength because our body is failing, but the Lord focuses on our spiritual well being.
I have at times agonized over something that I wanted to happen or didn't want to happen, as I prayed I became content. My peace left me temporarily while I was hoping for something to happen or not happen, that was not the will of God. As I returned to trust in Christ, He gave me peace that remains, if a change is going to happen, then that is up to Him and not me.
There have been times when I placed my trust more in my feelings than in Christ. I had to repent from paying attention to my feelings more than God, then is when the peace returned. I learned over the years to ignore my feelings and go to prayer. Wonderful things can happen in our soul when we disregard the flesh and pay close attention to God's Word and His principles.
The more we focus on perceived fears, emotions and desires, the greater possibility of deception and the less tranquility we experience.
I recall the story of Corry Ten Boom, a woman captured by the Nazi's, placed in a prison camp to endure many hardships and the loss of her sister who died there. She had a period of discouragement while in that camp, but when she began to focus on Christ, her joy and trust returned to her.
“Often I have heard people say, ‘How good God is! We prayed that it would not rain for our church picnic, and look at the lovely weather!’ Yes, God is good when He sends good weather. But God was also good when He allowed my sister, Betsie, to starve to death before my eyes in a German concentration camp. I remember one occasion when I was very discouraged there. Everything around us was dark, and there was darkness in my heart. I remember telling Betsie that I thought God had forgotten us. ‘No, Corrie,’ said Betsie, ‘He has not forgotten us. Remember His Word: “For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him.” ” Corrie concludes, “There is an ocean of God’s love available—there is plenty for everyone. May God grant you never to doubt that victorious love—whatever the circumstances.” Corry Ten Boom
All these internet warnings about the existence of concentration camps being prepared for U.S. citizens, may or may not be true, but it is not our business to fret over what might or might not be happening behind the scenes. Our business is to keep our eyes on Christ, obey Him as He leads and endure whatever He has for us with hope and expectation as we live out our lives for Him, no matter what is done to us on earth. Our future is not only bright but spectacularly so, when we consider our salvation and the events to come.
We have no need of more prophets to tell us future events, we can rely on the Holy Spirit Who lives in each one of us, to guide us as we go.
Warning: Matthew 24:11 "And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many."
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Training for what is to Come!
To my brothers and sisters that I know through facebook but have never met, I am looking forward to meeting you all at the marriage supper of the Lamb!!!! I am convinced that it will be soon! My prayer is that He will strengthen all of us in a greater resolve to honor Him before He takes us out.
Many in our church family are isolated in one way or another, others are being persecuted through beheadings and torture, may the Lord give us all strength beyond anything human to be able to endure the wrath of man.
Our hope is not in this life, but in the life to come, our real life is there, this has only been a training period for learning. I could be wrong but I am convinced that this life is preparing us for ruling in the Millenium. What we learn here will make us able to lead in whatever God gives us to do there.
Revelation 20:6 "Blessed and holy is the one who has a part in the first resurrection; over these the second death has no power, but they will be priests of God and of Christ and will reign with Him for a thousand years."
Some work out real hard to make the muscles of the body strong, the believer allows Christ to work in them to make our Spiritual muscles strong, for what is coming.
I am thankful that I don't have to make myself anything, Christ is doing it in me!
Ask God to do it in You!
God changes hearts.....He does that.....Let God and it will be permanent and real! STOP trying to change your own heart, confess to God your need and He will do the work in you!
Ephesians 2:10 "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."
1 Samuel 10:9
"Then it happened when he turned his back to leave Samuel, God changed his heart; and all those signs came about on that day."
"Then it happened when he turned his back to leave Samuel, God changed his heart; and all those signs came about on that day."
2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
Jeremiah 24:7
"'I will give them a heart to know Me, for I am the LORD; and they will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with their whole heart."
"'I will give them a heart to know Me, for I am the LORD; and they will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with their whole heart."
Ezekiel 36:26
"Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."
"Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."
Romans 2:29
"But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God."
"But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God."
Psalm 51:10
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me."
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me."
2 Corinthians 7:10
"For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death."
"For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death."
Ezekiel 11:19
"And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh,"
"And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh,"
Romans 12:2
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."
Government Validates Sin
The government deemed "blacks" non persons in this country in the Dread Scott decision of 1857, to be able to justify slavery. They will lie and say anything that absolves them of responsibility while solidifying their purposes. Making a sin legal, is the governments way of validating sin, we have seen this over and over again down through the years.
We have seen this in the Roe v. Wade decision of 1973, a form of slavery all over again. The unborn are seen as property, void of person hood, therefore their "owners" can do whatever they like with them and to them.
Do you think that it is over, that we will no longer give support for the abuse of those who cannot defend themselves? Not only is it not over, we will see this mentality of slavery increase the more entrenched we become in the 2 Timothy 3 mindset. Christians are going to be a target because they do not approve of those who do these evil acts. The Christian is going to be seen as intolerant and mean spirited for not endorsing wickedness.
2 Timothy 3:1-9 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.
6 For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses,
7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith.
9 But they will not make further progress; for their folly will be obvious to all, just as Jannes’s and Jambres’s folly was also."
Notice that it is "impulse" that drives these people, not reason or righteousness, but rather feelings based on selfishness. Often these people are in the church making worldly and foolish arguments to excuse evil, even embracing it to fit into popular thinking.
Those who love Christ are now a target for emotional and even physical abuse on the part of those who are deeply convicted by our way of life as believers. They are not satisfied to ignore us, they must do something to demean and destroy us. What the destroyers don't know is that with Christ living in us we have the strength to endure whatever the devil throws at us. Christ will fight on our behalf and the end of the story has been written, we know Who wins, our hope is great no matter what others do to us. Hallelujah!!!
Matthew 10:28 ""Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
We have seen this in the Roe v. Wade decision of 1973, a form of slavery all over again. The unborn are seen as property, void of person hood, therefore their "owners" can do whatever they like with them and to them.
Do you think that it is over, that we will no longer give support for the abuse of those who cannot defend themselves? Not only is it not over, we will see this mentality of slavery increase the more entrenched we become in the 2 Timothy 3 mindset. Christians are going to be a target because they do not approve of those who do these evil acts. The Christian is going to be seen as intolerant and mean spirited for not endorsing wickedness.
2 Timothy 3:1-9 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.
6 For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses,
7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith.
9 But they will not make further progress; for their folly will be obvious to all, just as Jannes’s and Jambres’s folly was also."
Notice that it is "impulse" that drives these people, not reason or righteousness, but rather feelings based on selfishness. Often these people are in the church making worldly and foolish arguments to excuse evil, even embracing it to fit into popular thinking.
Those who love Christ are now a target for emotional and even physical abuse on the part of those who are deeply convicted by our way of life as believers. They are not satisfied to ignore us, they must do something to demean and destroy us. What the destroyers don't know is that with Christ living in us we have the strength to endure whatever the devil throws at us. Christ will fight on our behalf and the end of the story has been written, we know Who wins, our hope is great no matter what others do to us. Hallelujah!!!
Matthew 10:28 ""Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
Abel's Offering vs. Cain's Offering
Why was Abel's offering accepted and Cain's not? Here is the answer, it had nothing to do with the type of offering or the excellence of the offering.
"By faith Abel offered to God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks."
Hebrews 11:4
"[W]e should love one another, not as Cain who was of the wicked one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brother’s righteous."
1 John 3:11–12
Cain and Able are an example of how God wants us to come to Him. By faith, and faith alone, He does all the rest of the Work.
If we want to be like Cain, we will trust our own ability to secure our salvation. Those who come this way will not be born again.
If we are like Able we will come by faith in Christ's finished work on the cross. Those who come this way will be born again, changed into a new creation by Christ and continually cleansed until the day we die.
We often think of people the way we think of God. How many times have we expected people to act in a way that elevates us, without concern about how we treat them? When we see God as One who is at our beckon call to give us all that we want, neglecting the things that please Him, while demanding the things that please us, we are holding Him in contempt. Our praise and worship are only demonstrated when He is giving us what we desire.
It might be good to ask God for His will, rather than waiting to ask Him when we can't get things to work out our way, in other words, we treat Him like a stop gap measure when our own plans and all else fails.
How much do we honor and respect God, will be seen in how we treat others. Mankind doesn't switch horses in mid stream, we usually are consistent in our attitudes, even if we hide them, they still remain in our soul, waiting to emerge when we are not getting our way, like spoiled children who have a tantrum to manipulate and control.
Cain trusted in his own abilities while being lazy about pleasing anyone else. Not only did he display anger at God for not accepting his offering, but his rage became evident when he killed his brother, laziness and jealousy were at the root of his tantrum against God and Abel.
We cannot separate our attitudes about God from our attitudes about others. Whatever way we act toward others, will be a clue about our attitude toward God. We can only hide so long before our strength wains and our emotions and actions give us away.
I am finding many people who think that God is nothing more than a concept in their own minds and His principles are nothing more than something to talk about. The modern church loves to display their level of knowledge as long as they do not have to actually follow what they know.
How many times have we seen people tell us all about the movie they watched, full of the emotion they felt from viewing it? They were never in the movie, never lived anything in it, but loved to discuss it with all the passion of real life as though they actually experienced it.
This is how many believers discuss the principles of God. We enjoy speaking about God's commandments, intellectually engaging them but never actually living them out in life. "Knowing" seems to be equivalent to "doing", in our modern culture. "Saying" something is enough, "obeying" is not really very important as long as we "know."
James 2:19 "You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder."
Knowing something is not enough, God commands us to obey, not just "know." Do we "say" to God "I love you", and then proceed to disobey? Are the words enough for us, if so, this may be an indication that we are not born again. Those who love Christ want to obey Him, even when we fail we hate that we do, we confess freely and openly to be accountable, then we move forward in obedience. God will only work in the heart of someone who wants Him to cleanse them. God never forces anyone!
John 14:21 "“He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.”
"By faith Abel offered to God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks."
Hebrews 11:4
"[W]e should love one another, not as Cain who was of the wicked one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brother’s righteous."
1 John 3:11–12
Cain and Able are an example of how God wants us to come to Him. By faith, and faith alone, He does all the rest of the Work.
If we want to be like Cain, we will trust our own ability to secure our salvation. Those who come this way will not be born again.
If we are like Able we will come by faith in Christ's finished work on the cross. Those who come this way will be born again, changed into a new creation by Christ and continually cleansed until the day we die.
We often think of people the way we think of God. How many times have we expected people to act in a way that elevates us, without concern about how we treat them? When we see God as One who is at our beckon call to give us all that we want, neglecting the things that please Him, while demanding the things that please us, we are holding Him in contempt. Our praise and worship are only demonstrated when He is giving us what we desire.
It might be good to ask God for His will, rather than waiting to ask Him when we can't get things to work out our way, in other words, we treat Him like a stop gap measure when our own plans and all else fails.
How much do we honor and respect God, will be seen in how we treat others. Mankind doesn't switch horses in mid stream, we usually are consistent in our attitudes, even if we hide them, they still remain in our soul, waiting to emerge when we are not getting our way, like spoiled children who have a tantrum to manipulate and control.
Cain trusted in his own abilities while being lazy about pleasing anyone else. Not only did he display anger at God for not accepting his offering, but his rage became evident when he killed his brother, laziness and jealousy were at the root of his tantrum against God and Abel.
We cannot separate our attitudes about God from our attitudes about others. Whatever way we act toward others, will be a clue about our attitude toward God. We can only hide so long before our strength wains and our emotions and actions give us away.
I am finding many people who think that God is nothing more than a concept in their own minds and His principles are nothing more than something to talk about. The modern church loves to display their level of knowledge as long as they do not have to actually follow what they know.
How many times have we seen people tell us all about the movie they watched, full of the emotion they felt from viewing it? They were never in the movie, never lived anything in it, but loved to discuss it with all the passion of real life as though they actually experienced it.
This is how many believers discuss the principles of God. We enjoy speaking about God's commandments, intellectually engaging them but never actually living them out in life. "Knowing" seems to be equivalent to "doing", in our modern culture. "Saying" something is enough, "obeying" is not really very important as long as we "know."
James 2:19 "You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder."
Knowing something is not enough, God commands us to obey, not just "know." Do we "say" to God "I love you", and then proceed to disobey? Are the words enough for us, if so, this may be an indication that we are not born again. Those who love Christ want to obey Him, even when we fail we hate that we do, we confess freely and openly to be accountable, then we move forward in obedience. God will only work in the heart of someone who wants Him to cleanse them. God never forces anyone!
John 14:21 "“He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.”
Our Companions Matter
There are people at times
in our lives, that attempt to define who we are on their terms according to
their philosophy rather than getting to know us, basing their view of us on
God's standard. They have an idea of us that they prefer, because of their need
to control others. Who we are may not be bad or wrong, but in their estimation,
if we do not think like they do or act as they do, we are considered inferior
or evil.
Obviously as a believer, I am not saying we should overlook sinful behavior, however, as far as personality and personal convictions are concerned, we should not be judged by another person's standard, but by God's principles.
There are those in the church who make up their own rules, going beyond what God mandated and judging the character of others on that basis. It is sinful to evaluate someone on small matters that are not sin issues.
Even in the matter of sin, we should go to the one who is sinning with an attitude of brokenness for them, purposing to restore them through truth. Everyone sins, the objective should never be to beat someone down over and over again to appear superior, but rather share correction, that the one sinning would return to obedience. If we have to remove ourselves because someone rejects correction, choosing to continue in sin, then we should feel grieved that we have to move on because they will not listen, while continuing to pray for them until God tells us to stop.
I knew of a woman who was judged and mocked as silly and foolish by someone because she had more than one pair of brown shoes in her closet. This is a true story, she was mocked and demeaned because a wise woman wouldn't need more than one pair of brown shoes, according to the values of the one judging. The shoes were different colors and styles, some were flats, some heels and some boots. This woman purchased shoes she liked at garage sales, thrift stores and some new on sale. She was a thrifty woman, all the household bills were paid, there were donations to worthy causes, so there couldn't be a judgement that she was wasting money that needed to go other places and the items in question were not expensive. It is even possible that all her purchases together were less than one expensive pair of brown shoes at a downtown shop. Nothing was wrong, nothing needed to be judged in the matter of the shoe caper! But someone wanted to feel superior, because they wouldn't buy that many brown shoes, this must mean that the one who did was foolish, worthy of disrespect.
When we continually evaluate a person's character on trivial matters, there is an attitude of superiority, the belief that if someone doesn't do like I do, think like I do and want what I want, then they are not worthy of respect and honor.
I wonder how many relationships have been destroyed because of continual mocking, demeaning and dismissiveness by those who walk in pride?
When we are continually demeaned and mocked, it not only affects our view of life, but can bring on physical problems as well as determine our own attitudes. The more we are with someone the more likely we are to act the way they act, say the things they say and carry on the mental disposition they possess.
Judging trivial things is an unnecessary and excellent recipe for a damaged and even completely destroyed relationship. When someone shows disrespect once or twice we tend to over look it as a weak moment, but when these tactics of demeaning occur regularly without restraint, then we are probably encountering someone who has a problem with pride, desiring to control others to be shaped into their own image.
God tells us to be careful to guard our hearts by choosing our companions wisely. When we spend too much time with those who judge minor unimportant matters, we tend to find ourselves doing the same thing. The very least that happens is that we become worn out from all the foolishness, making us downcast, ineffective for Christ and even less helpful to others. Someone who demonstrates a pattern of verbal and emotional abuse, has one purpose in mind and that is to bring us down to raise themselves up.
Proverbs 12:26 "26 The righteous is a guide to his neighbor,
But the way of the wicked leads them astray."
Proverbs 1:10-15 "10 My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent.
11 If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait for blood, Let us ambush the innocent without cause;
12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, Even whole, as those who go down to the pit;
13 We will find all kinds of precious wealth, We will fill our houses with spoil;
14 Throw in your lot with us, We shall all have one purse,”
15 My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path,"
Proverbs 16:29 "A man of violence entices his neighbor And leads him in a way that is not good."
Proverbs 22:24-25 "24 Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, 25 Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself."
Our companions often determine our physical health. I am convinced that emotional and physical health are deeply connected.
Proverbs 3:7-8 "Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. 8 It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones."
Our mental state can effect our children from generation to generation. The way we view life, the state of our mind, influences the attitude of our family.
Exodus 34:7 "Keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children's children, to the third and the fourth generation.”
2 Chronicles 17:3
"The LORD was with Jehoshaphat because he followed the example of his father David's earlier days and did not seek the Baals,"
2 Chronicles 26:4
"He did right in the sight of the LORD according to all that his father Amaziah had done."
2 Timothy 1:5
"For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well."
2 Timothy 3:15
"and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus."
Titus 2:3-8
"3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
6 Likewise urge the young men to be sensible;
7 in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified,
8 sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us."
Our companions influence our attitude and life experience, it is vitally important that we guard our hearts by choosing our friends wisely.
Proverbs 13:20 "He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm."
Obviously as a believer, I am not saying we should overlook sinful behavior, however, as far as personality and personal convictions are concerned, we should not be judged by another person's standard, but by God's principles.
There are those in the church who make up their own rules, going beyond what God mandated and judging the character of others on that basis. It is sinful to evaluate someone on small matters that are not sin issues.
Even in the matter of sin, we should go to the one who is sinning with an attitude of brokenness for them, purposing to restore them through truth. Everyone sins, the objective should never be to beat someone down over and over again to appear superior, but rather share correction, that the one sinning would return to obedience. If we have to remove ourselves because someone rejects correction, choosing to continue in sin, then we should feel grieved that we have to move on because they will not listen, while continuing to pray for them until God tells us to stop.
I knew of a woman who was judged and mocked as silly and foolish by someone because she had more than one pair of brown shoes in her closet. This is a true story, she was mocked and demeaned because a wise woman wouldn't need more than one pair of brown shoes, according to the values of the one judging. The shoes were different colors and styles, some were flats, some heels and some boots. This woman purchased shoes she liked at garage sales, thrift stores and some new on sale. She was a thrifty woman, all the household bills were paid, there were donations to worthy causes, so there couldn't be a judgement that she was wasting money that needed to go other places and the items in question were not expensive. It is even possible that all her purchases together were less than one expensive pair of brown shoes at a downtown shop. Nothing was wrong, nothing needed to be judged in the matter of the shoe caper! But someone wanted to feel superior, because they wouldn't buy that many brown shoes, this must mean that the one who did was foolish, worthy of disrespect.
When we continually evaluate a person's character on trivial matters, there is an attitude of superiority, the belief that if someone doesn't do like I do, think like I do and want what I want, then they are not worthy of respect and honor.
I wonder how many relationships have been destroyed because of continual mocking, demeaning and dismissiveness by those who walk in pride?
When we are continually demeaned and mocked, it not only affects our view of life, but can bring on physical problems as well as determine our own attitudes. The more we are with someone the more likely we are to act the way they act, say the things they say and carry on the mental disposition they possess.
Judging trivial things is an unnecessary and excellent recipe for a damaged and even completely destroyed relationship. When someone shows disrespect once or twice we tend to over look it as a weak moment, but when these tactics of demeaning occur regularly without restraint, then we are probably encountering someone who has a problem with pride, desiring to control others to be shaped into their own image.
God tells us to be careful to guard our hearts by choosing our companions wisely. When we spend too much time with those who judge minor unimportant matters, we tend to find ourselves doing the same thing. The very least that happens is that we become worn out from all the foolishness, making us downcast, ineffective for Christ and even less helpful to others. Someone who demonstrates a pattern of verbal and emotional abuse, has one purpose in mind and that is to bring us down to raise themselves up.
Proverbs 12:26 "26 The righteous is a guide to his neighbor,
But the way of the wicked leads them astray."
Proverbs 1:10-15 "10 My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent.
11 If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait for blood, Let us ambush the innocent without cause;
12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, Even whole, as those who go down to the pit;
13 We will find all kinds of precious wealth, We will fill our houses with spoil;
14 Throw in your lot with us, We shall all have one purse,”
15 My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path,"
Proverbs 16:29 "A man of violence entices his neighbor And leads him in a way that is not good."
Proverbs 22:24-25 "24 Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, 25 Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself."
Our companions often determine our physical health. I am convinced that emotional and physical health are deeply connected.
Proverbs 3:7-8 "Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. 8 It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones."
Our mental state can effect our children from generation to generation. The way we view life, the state of our mind, influences the attitude of our family.
Exodus 34:7 "Keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children's children, to the third and the fourth generation.”
2 Chronicles 17:3
"The LORD was with Jehoshaphat because he followed the example of his father David's earlier days and did not seek the Baals,"
2 Chronicles 26:4
"He did right in the sight of the LORD according to all that his father Amaziah had done."
2 Timothy 1:5
"For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well."
2 Timothy 3:15
"and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus."
Titus 2:3-8
"3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
6 Likewise urge the young men to be sensible;
7 in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified,
8 sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us."
Our companions influence our attitude and life experience, it is vitally important that we guard our hearts by choosing our friends wisely.
Proverbs 13:20 "He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm."
Friday, January 22, 2016
Confession of Sin Cleanses the Soul
We are to always have forgiveness in our heart, ready and willing to forgive when the time is right to reconcile a relationship. That is really the purpose of repenting and forgiving, to wipe away the offense to restore a broken relationship.
We are not restored to God without confession of our sin, for the purpose of being cleansed of it.
Without repentance, there is no desire to change what is filthy and destructive. It is the confession that is an indicator of our sadness that we offended God and others, it is confession that shows a desire to change what is wrong or evil in our hearts.
1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
James 5:16 - Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Matthew 10:33 - But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
Proverbs 28:13 - He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh [them] shall have mercy.
Favoritism Is Not Love
Ways a parent develops parental favoritism in their children.
Why do I write about these difficulties in raising children? The answer is twofold; first I write about these things to help those who have been victims to relieve them of the baggage of guilt that comes with wondering why they were the target of such hate and meanness. The second reason is to warn those who are indulgent parents, the favored ones, who need to repent and begin to obey God.
God gave us clear guidelines in the Word on parenting. Men are told to lead their family in godliness, love their wives as they love their own bodies and to train up their children in the ways of the Lord. These principles are the most neglected principles in families today. Children and wives are being neglected in these matters of spiritual help from husbands. Often when the wives attempt to bring spirituality and godly standards into the family, they are met with severe resistance from the one who is supposed to be the leader. How can a wife and family follow, when the leader will not lead.
How can a man lead in spiritual matters when the wife has no interest in them? Yes, it goes both ways! The answer is clear, men and women alike must desire the pure Word of God, to not only know it, but to actually follow it.
Acting in ways that diminish the importance of the other spouse, for instance, negating the authority by undermining the dictates of the target parent is causing bitterness in children.
Example: The target parent is concerned about a particular movie the child wants to see, thinking it is not appropriate for the child. The indulgent parent, in front of the child, argues to allow the child to see it instead of discussing the matter and coming to a mutual decision, the indulgent parent treats the target parent as though they have been mean or wrong, allowing the child to feel more connected to the indulgent parent who gives them what they want, rather than what is good for them.
These tactics can be very covert, mean looks at the undesirable parent on the part of the indulgent parent, while using language that defends what the child wants, all done in front of the child.
These tactics can take the form of the indulgent parent always playing with the children while the undesirable parent is stuck with all the discipline and making of and enforcing the rules of the household. The indulgent parent rarely makes rules, and often negates and ignores the rules set down by the undesirable parent.
This can take the form of discouraging discussion about matters in the household when the undesirable parent desires to communicate about something and the favored parent will not engage in reasonable discussion to resolve family issues. In fact the undesirable parent is blamed for “causing trouble” for having rules and restriction and sticking to them.
This can take the form of the favored parent minimizing the importance of the other parent, showing no interest in the desires of the target parent, causing the children to have no interest in them either.
In order to continue to feel connected to the favored parent, the children see the disapproval of the favored parent for the target parent, and desire the approval of the favored parent, in deference to him/her, they will join in the disapproval of the target parent, negating their instruction, using covert disobedience to show hatred toward that undesirable parent, often obeying while developing a bitterness toward the target parent. The obedience is often incomplete and done with malice.
The favored parent does not actually have to express openly that the target parent is dangerous, all they have to do is act in disapproving ways to show their disdain for the target parent, leaving a deeply sensed dismissiveness of the target parents actions and words. There is a strong sense of discord that is fostered in the family because one parent has been devalued by the favored parent.
Another covert way of demeaning and dismissing the authority of the target parent is to go along with the target parent, using couching language such as “your mother says you can’t go”, to appear to go along, while at the same time showing the children the favored parent is supporting the rebellion of the children over the rules and desires of the target parent. It is one of the more obvious ways of feigning support while undermining authority. It is a tactic to maintain the position of favored parent while appearing to go along with the target parent.
Covert ways of communicating that a target parent doesn’t love the children is for the favored parent to give the children what they want, while subtly fighting against the target parent. This sends the message to the children that the target parent doesn’t love them because they make rules and have standards. The fact is that the target parent is the one who loves them, cares deeply about their emotional and spiritual growth, while the favored parent only cares about being loved by their children for giving the children their desires, whether or not it is good for them.
Another covert form of devaluing the target parent is to commiserate with the children when they complain about the target parents rules. Rather than supporting the target parent, the favored parent tells the children to obey to keep the target parent from getting mad. The conversation with the children is not about honoring and loving the target parent, but rather about keeping them from getting mad, leaving the child with the impression that they have to obey but they don’t have to love the target parent.
One way of doing this is to take the children away from an activity the target parent had planned, to engage them in the favored parents’ desires, when the target parent planned the activity before the favored parents plans. Favored parents often sabotage outings and fun times with target parents to make sure the favored parent is the one in control and in the lime light. The favored parent is usually the most aggressive at getting the attention away from the target parent to have all the attention of the children.
The favored parent often asks the children to keep secrets from the target parent, producing a special position between the favored parent, which cannot exist with the target parent. Keeping secrets is a form of devaluing the target parent. The favored parent often covertly intimates to the children that the undesirable parent is a trouble maker, rather than one that should be honored.
The favored parent, in the process of all this, is seen as the parent who can do no wrong, the one who loves them and the one who has done everything for them.
The fact is that the devalued parent often is the one who provided guidelines, rules and consequences for disobedience while caring deeply about the character growth of the children. The target parent often is the one much more involved in the lives of the children on a daily basis, seeing to their needs while attempting to teach and train them. The favored parent is permissive, indulgent and self-absorbed, having little concern about the overall spiritual, mental and character development of the children. There is little thought about the well-being for the long haul, on the part of the indulgent parent, it was all fun and games, approval of everything, even when some of those things would have been bad for the children overall.
It stands to reason that a child is more likely to accept and love the parent who brings them fun and happiness the way they want it. We see this same mentality in the church gatherings today, “give them what they want and they will like us.” We have male church leaders who are not only doing this in their families but they bring it to the church gatherings as well. These apostate preachers are using the same tactics in their churches, fostering an attitude in the gathering that if something isn't fun or happy, then it isn't worth doing and anyone who brings conviction or correction, is someone to be avoided.
Sadly, many children grow up knowing they don’t like the target parent, but have forgotten the reason they didn’t like them. They do not remember the sacrifices of the target parent, only that they were angry at the tension when they were not allowed to have their own way. Even the joyful times with the target parent are forgotten buried under all the emotional irrational false memories.
There is little left of reasonable and sacrificial concern about the well-being of children in our present culture. The order of the day is momentary happiness, personal fulfillment, very little concern about spiritual integrity or growth. The more we indulge in personal pleasure the less spiritual we become, leading to a lack of integrity. When life is filtered through the lens of “desire”, it cannot be honestly dealt with, nor can it be sacrificial, everything is evaluated on the basis of feelings and superficiality.
James 2:8-11 "8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right.
9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.
10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.
11 For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,” also said, “You shall not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker."
Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,"
1 Peter 3:1-12 "3 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;
9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
10 For, “The one who desires life, to love and see good days,
Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.
11 “He must turn away from evil and do good; He must seek peace and pursue it.
12 “For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous,
And His ears attend to their prayer, But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
When parents work together to honor God, they will be able to raise respectful children who honor their parents, who value them, both of them equally. The best ally against outside attack are two parents who love and honor one another as Christ commanded.
Why do I write about these difficulties in raising children? The answer is twofold; first I write about these things to help those who have been victims to relieve them of the baggage of guilt that comes with wondering why they were the target of such hate and meanness. The second reason is to warn those who are indulgent parents, the favored ones, who need to repent and begin to obey God.
God gave us clear guidelines in the Word on parenting. Men are told to lead their family in godliness, love their wives as they love their own bodies and to train up their children in the ways of the Lord. These principles are the most neglected principles in families today. Children and wives are being neglected in these matters of spiritual help from husbands. Often when the wives attempt to bring spirituality and godly standards into the family, they are met with severe resistance from the one who is supposed to be the leader. How can a wife and family follow, when the leader will not lead.
How can a man lead in spiritual matters when the wife has no interest in them? Yes, it goes both ways! The answer is clear, men and women alike must desire the pure Word of God, to not only know it, but to actually follow it.
Acting in ways that diminish the importance of the other spouse, for instance, negating the authority by undermining the dictates of the target parent is causing bitterness in children.
Example: The target parent is concerned about a particular movie the child wants to see, thinking it is not appropriate for the child. The indulgent parent, in front of the child, argues to allow the child to see it instead of discussing the matter and coming to a mutual decision, the indulgent parent treats the target parent as though they have been mean or wrong, allowing the child to feel more connected to the indulgent parent who gives them what they want, rather than what is good for them.
These tactics can be very covert, mean looks at the undesirable parent on the part of the indulgent parent, while using language that defends what the child wants, all done in front of the child.
These tactics can take the form of the indulgent parent always playing with the children while the undesirable parent is stuck with all the discipline and making of and enforcing the rules of the household. The indulgent parent rarely makes rules, and often negates and ignores the rules set down by the undesirable parent.
This can take the form of discouraging discussion about matters in the household when the undesirable parent desires to communicate about something and the favored parent will not engage in reasonable discussion to resolve family issues. In fact the undesirable parent is blamed for “causing trouble” for having rules and restriction and sticking to them.
This can take the form of the favored parent minimizing the importance of the other parent, showing no interest in the desires of the target parent, causing the children to have no interest in them either.
In order to continue to feel connected to the favored parent, the children see the disapproval of the favored parent for the target parent, and desire the approval of the favored parent, in deference to him/her, they will join in the disapproval of the target parent, negating their instruction, using covert disobedience to show hatred toward that undesirable parent, often obeying while developing a bitterness toward the target parent. The obedience is often incomplete and done with malice.
The favored parent does not actually have to express openly that the target parent is dangerous, all they have to do is act in disapproving ways to show their disdain for the target parent, leaving a deeply sensed dismissiveness of the target parents actions and words. There is a strong sense of discord that is fostered in the family because one parent has been devalued by the favored parent.
Another covert way of demeaning and dismissing the authority of the target parent is to go along with the target parent, using couching language such as “your mother says you can’t go”, to appear to go along, while at the same time showing the children the favored parent is supporting the rebellion of the children over the rules and desires of the target parent. It is one of the more obvious ways of feigning support while undermining authority. It is a tactic to maintain the position of favored parent while appearing to go along with the target parent.
Covert ways of communicating that a target parent doesn’t love the children is for the favored parent to give the children what they want, while subtly fighting against the target parent. This sends the message to the children that the target parent doesn’t love them because they make rules and have standards. The fact is that the target parent is the one who loves them, cares deeply about their emotional and spiritual growth, while the favored parent only cares about being loved by their children for giving the children their desires, whether or not it is good for them.
Another covert form of devaluing the target parent is to commiserate with the children when they complain about the target parents rules. Rather than supporting the target parent, the favored parent tells the children to obey to keep the target parent from getting mad. The conversation with the children is not about honoring and loving the target parent, but rather about keeping them from getting mad, leaving the child with the impression that they have to obey but they don’t have to love the target parent.
One way of doing this is to take the children away from an activity the target parent had planned, to engage them in the favored parents’ desires, when the target parent planned the activity before the favored parents plans. Favored parents often sabotage outings and fun times with target parents to make sure the favored parent is the one in control and in the lime light. The favored parent is usually the most aggressive at getting the attention away from the target parent to have all the attention of the children.
The favored parent often asks the children to keep secrets from the target parent, producing a special position between the favored parent, which cannot exist with the target parent. Keeping secrets is a form of devaluing the target parent. The favored parent often covertly intimates to the children that the undesirable parent is a trouble maker, rather than one that should be honored.
The favored parent, in the process of all this, is seen as the parent who can do no wrong, the one who loves them and the one who has done everything for them.
The fact is that the devalued parent often is the one who provided guidelines, rules and consequences for disobedience while caring deeply about the character growth of the children. The target parent often is the one much more involved in the lives of the children on a daily basis, seeing to their needs while attempting to teach and train them. The favored parent is permissive, indulgent and self-absorbed, having little concern about the overall spiritual, mental and character development of the children. There is little thought about the well-being for the long haul, on the part of the indulgent parent, it was all fun and games, approval of everything, even when some of those things would have been bad for the children overall.
It stands to reason that a child is more likely to accept and love the parent who brings them fun and happiness the way they want it. We see this same mentality in the church gatherings today, “give them what they want and they will like us.” We have male church leaders who are not only doing this in their families but they bring it to the church gatherings as well. These apostate preachers are using the same tactics in their churches, fostering an attitude in the gathering that if something isn't fun or happy, then it isn't worth doing and anyone who brings conviction or correction, is someone to be avoided.
Sadly, many children grow up knowing they don’t like the target parent, but have forgotten the reason they didn’t like them. They do not remember the sacrifices of the target parent, only that they were angry at the tension when they were not allowed to have their own way. Even the joyful times with the target parent are forgotten buried under all the emotional irrational false memories.
There is little left of reasonable and sacrificial concern about the well-being of children in our present culture. The order of the day is momentary happiness, personal fulfillment, very little concern about spiritual integrity or growth. The more we indulge in personal pleasure the less spiritual we become, leading to a lack of integrity. When life is filtered through the lens of “desire”, it cannot be honestly dealt with, nor can it be sacrificial, everything is evaluated on the basis of feelings and superficiality.
James 2:8-11 "8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right.
9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.
10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.
11 For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,” also said, “You shall not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker."
Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,"
1 Peter 3:1-12 "3 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;
9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
10 For, “The one who desires life, to love and see good days,
Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.
11 “He must turn away from evil and do good; He must seek peace and pursue it.
12 “For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous,
And His ears attend to their prayer, But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
When parents work together to honor God, they will be able to raise respectful children who honor their parents, who value them, both of them equally. The best ally against outside attack are two parents who love and honor one another as Christ commanded.
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