Candy to the Fool!

"The same sun that melts the butter hardens the clay."Billy Graham

When we have been led by God to tell the truth about a difficult situation and others become angry with us for it, we are seeing stubborn hearts.

When we have been led by God to tell the truth about a difficult situation and others become humbled, we are seeing open teachable hearts.

I have experienced a number of times over the years, with extended family, a phenomena that leaves us dumbfounded when we encounter it.

That phenomena is the anger that results from a room full of people who see someone else irritated at a comment, while onlookers take on the offense of the one who is angry, rather than evaluating what was actually said by the innocent party.

So often our culture, having been steeped in psychology, assuming if someone got angry then someone else must have done something bad, wrong or mean to make them that way.

You didn't do it in a rude or mean way, but they will accuse you of it, to make you look bad or mean. Narcissistic people always blame others for their cruelty. If they can discredit us in someway, they can turn public opinion against us.

One example of this is the bully who taunts us relentlessly until we lose control and then points the finger to accuse us of being crazy or out of control.

The devil whispers in the ear of the abuser to taunt and mock to accomplish the goal of aggravating the target, so as to use manipulation to cause hurt and anger in another person. Even the calmest person has a boiling point if they suck in all that is being done. The wise target will not respond, will walk away and never return to a relationship with the taunter.

When we see these tactics being used, whether they are overtly blatant or covertly subtle, under the radar, we know when it is happening and learn to avoid such people.

If the devil can make the believer look like a raging fool through manipulation, then he has managed to negate the authenticity of the believer. His greatest aim is to ruin the witness of the believer while disarming his resolve to follow Christ and he uses the mouths and reactions of those who do not know the Lord to accomplish this.

Proverbs 29:9 "When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, The foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest. "

When we realize that the fool has a goal to demean us, then we know he is being used by Satan, we don't have to engage, we can ignore and remove ourselves, leaving only the silly comments of the fool as the last memory others see. AND, we can leave it all to God, He knows best what is to be done.

God tells us in His word to confront the sin when we see it in believers, however, once we realize they have hardened their heart to a correction or rebuke, then we must walk away, never confront them again, leaving it all to God.

Proverbs 26:4-5
4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Or you will also be like him. 5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves, That he not be wise in his own eyes."

Why does God say to answer a fool according to his folly and in the same passage say not to answer a fool according to his folly?

The answer is really quite simple when dealing with foolish people, we are to address the sin of pride but never engage in the foolish arguments with the fool. The fool will speak silliness, expecting us to respond to that silliness, making us look just as silly as he is, rather we should ignore the foolish remarks and address only the sin of pride.

Fools are adept at taking us down rabbit trails that have no relation to the subject being discussed.

Often when we confront a foolish person over their sin, they will call us names, "mean spirited", "you yelled at me", "you are sinful too." They attempt to divert us from the subject to take the focus off their sin. The best way to handle this is to ignore the insults and repeat the offense of the original discussion. When we see that the fool refuses to stay on topic, then we walk away, remembering to not engage with them ever again.

There is an old saying, I don't know who said it or where it came from but it makes good sense, it goes like this; "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me."

When we allow a fool to carry the conversation any which way he wants, we are acting foolishly ourselves. Winning should never be the goal of a believer, only getting across the truth. When the truth is not received and more turmoil is the result of our attempt at mending a situation, then we know it will not be ended by our own efforts, we must exit the mess and turn it over to God.

Proverbs 23:9 "Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words."

Finally, the answer is never to just stand by and nod our head at the foolishness of fools, that only validates them. We are either to answer them or walk away. God can tell us which path to take.

Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."

Proverbs 29:11
"A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back."

Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."

Proverbs 18:6
"A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating."

Proverbs 26:19
"Is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!”"

Conflict is like candy to a fool, never provide their candy!