Love does not demonstrate itself in threats and manipulation, but rather is evident in concern for reasoning with one another to come to an agreement. It takes a desire to understand others, relinquish our desire to be right or first, while seeking the mind of the other person.
When we encounter continual manipulation to control us we know that the person involved has no interest in discovering our concerns or needs nor are they interested in sharing theirs. The only objective is to win over us to remain in a superior position.
Mutual respect and honor are required to develop a quality relationship, this can only be accomplished through genuine interest in the welfare of our friend.
Christ never manipulated others, He spoke the plain truth and they made the decision to accept or reject Him. Truth is the only way to resolve any problem. When truth is twisted or replaced with lies to control others, there is no possibility of reconciliation.
Humanly speaking it is natural to want to win in any discussion, but when we walk in the Spirit of God, our desires are not human but godly. The desire to resolve the conflict is greater than any pride of winning in our flesh. When we walk into a discussion with the attitude of winning, we cannot be honest nor can we be understanding of others.
Winning should never be the objective of a believer, only seeking and finding truth is the goal.
2 John 1:3-4 "…3 For I was very glad when brethren came and testified to your truth, that is, how you are walking in truth. 4 I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth."
1 Corinthians 4:14
"I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear children."
Psalm 86:11 "Psalm 86:11
"Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name."
Galatians 5:16
"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh."
John 8:32 "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
It is embarrassing to admit we were wrong, but the freedom that comes from confessing our failings to others is far greater than any temporary mortification of our flesh. It will bring a growth spirit and cleansing to our soul.
So many people hang onto their pride, refusing to confess their sin. Their spirit is in continual torment, even enhancing bitterness that eats away at them.
Ephesians 4:30-32 "…30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."
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