Forgiveness and Confession are Two Sides of the Same Coin

Forgiveness is for the purpose of reconciling the relationship. In order for reconciliation there must be confession of wrong by the one who offended. Both elements must be present. However that does not mean that just because the relationship cannot be reconciled we hold any grudges. It does mean that if someone continually offends and will not stop we must remove ourselves. Forgiveness is in the heart, but it cannot be passed to one who does not want to change their behavior.

Many people do not understand that God had a reason for both confession and forgiveness to be two sides of the same coin. We cannot have one without the other. To forgive prematurely is to enable, enhance and encourage bad behavior.

God's way brings people to a sense of shame over their offenses. When we prematurely forgive without confession of wrong we solidify the sin in that person's heart.

Pride remains in the one who will not admit their offense, God must deal with that and so should we. We can see how our culture has fostered an entitlement mentality toward forgiveness as fewer and fewer people repent and confess. All the guilt has been removed by premature forgiveness. We take away the opportunity for someone to be guilt free through confession by "letting them off the hook" too soon, before they are ashamed of themselves.

Our forgiveness is not just for us, its for them too when they legitimately confess. We harm others by not requiring confession and we disobey God when we forgive before confession.