We can choose not to forgive an offender who is not sorry and still not be angry. God commanded that forgiveness was extended only to those who are sorry. To say we must forgive when someone is not sorry is psychology, it does not come from the Bible. Forgiveness if for the purpose of reconciling a relationship. Both elements must be present, there must be someone who is sorry and someone who forgives.
We do not forgive for ourselves, we forgive for the relationship when the other party wants to reconcile.
1 John 1:9 "IF WE CONFESS"
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
James 5:16
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." THE OFFENDER MUST CONFESS
Ephesians 4:32
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." CHRIST NEVER FORGIVES BEFORE WE CONFESS WE ARE TO DO WHAT HE DOES.
Matthew 5:23-24
"So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."
FORGIVENESS IS FOR RECONCILIATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP, IT IS NOT TO MAKE US FEEL BETTER OR TO GET US ANYTHING.
Premature forgiveness enables the offender and causes arrogance in those that think they are entitled to do as they please without consequences. If we love people we will require accountability for their sake.
It is selfish to focus on our own feelings when we need to do what is right for the sake of the one who needs correction.
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