Confession of sin must happen before forgiveness can be extended. They are a set as in two sides of the same coin, one cannot have one without the other.
The reason so many Christians are confused about this matter of forgiveness is because psychology teaches that we forgive so we feel better ourselves. This is not Biblical. Forgiveness extended because someone confessed their sin and wishes to be forgiven reconciles a broken relationship.
A relationship in which there has been extended forgiveness but the offender is not sorry, remains broken.
We do have a benefit when we forgive genuinely and that is a reconciled relationship and a blessing from heaven, but we do not forgive without the confession of sin merely to feel good about ourselves.
There is no blessing from heaven for forgiving superficially without a restored relationship.
Luke 17:3-4 "3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”…"
Notice the "returns to say, 'I repent," it's not hard but is so often ignored.
When we forgive man's way there is no accountability, no justice and no change of attitude or behavior.
Jeremiah 6:13-15 "…13“For from the least of them to the greatest, all are greedy for gain; from prophet to priest, all practice deceit. 14 They dress the wound of My people with very little care, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace at all. 15 Are they ashamed of the abomination they have committed? No, they have no shame at all; they do not even know how to blush. So they will fall among the fallen; when I punish them, they will collapse,” says the LORD.…"
When a culture gets to the point that the offender is coddled and forgiven without confession of sin we have lost the culture and justice has been perverted.
We are now living in times when people want more than anything to "feel" good all the time without "being" good. They want to be admired and accepted even while they are defiant against God.
The people of today refuse to listen to the truth, rage at those who speak the truth, and plot revenge on righteous people to make themselves feel better about their sin. In order to remain in sin to enjoy it the sinner must devalue and diminish the truth and those who speak God's Word.
Isaiah 30:10
They say to the seers, "Stop seeing visions!" and to the prophets, "Do not prophesy to us the truth! Speak to us pleasant words; prophesy illusions.
Welcome to the Second Timothy Three end times mentality. We must stay close to God, reject evil and stay true to the principles of the Bible if we are to remain unaffected by the world in which we live.
Expect rejection, mocking, misunderstandings that lead to family exclusion, even in the body of Christ. We need not become sad or depressed when we encounter this when we know who is behind it, that is the devil, and that it is directed at God not us.
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