When I was a small child, about 10 years old, I wandered into a nearby field in the spring. The field was full of water; looking from the solid ground, I thought the water was superficial, floating on top of the land.
In my big boots, big for a little girl of 10, I took my first step and saw my foot sink a couple of inches. I wasn't worried about that; it was easy to take the next step. Unfortunately, the next step was a foot of mud that rolled over the top of my boots.
I began to panic as I tried to lift my leg out of the bog, but it was not budging. I began to cry in fear that I would not be able to get out, and there was no one around to help me. I was in that field alone, stuck and helpless.
I was used to wandering in the fields and woods alone. I had brothers who didn't want me around, so I did a lot of things on my own. Later in life, I felt blessed that those early years taught me to learn to be content and happy by myself.
In the matter of the mud bog, my only hope was to try and try and try until I was able to get loose, but I could not. Then the idea came to me to remove my foot from the boot and then pull the boot out. It was easier to pull my foot out of the mud than it was to pull the boot out with my foot in it. The boot came out more easily when my foot was not in it.
I don't remember exactly how I got across that field to harder and safer ground, but I remember the relief that rolled over me when I was able to walk out of the place.
I tell you this story to demonstrate the feelings I had the first time I began to question the Catholic church and all its man-made rituals, and then later the Protestant church systems that we visited over the years after leaving the Catholic church.
Because I was so indoctrinated to the "way things were done", there was a sense of guilt in objecting or pondering anything different. It was only when I began to read the Bible and pray for wisdom that these false man-made systems bothered me. I couldn't say why, but I continued to pray that God would tell me what was wrong with me that I was not at peace about these institutions.
I was led to believe, through the reactions to me as a child, that it was a sin for me to question anything. I was treated with contempt and disrespect for wanting answers to questions no one else seemed to know the answer to.
As the Lord began to open my eyes through the Scriptures and His still small voice compelling me to continue in study and prayer, the light came on in my heart. Then is when God showed me all the ways in the institutional church that were not only not Biblical but managed to keep the people in the pews locked into the false system. Christ was not the real focus; the system and ritual were the focus.
The people lacked the fruit of the Spirit because each was in competition with all the others to appear more spiritual or at least equal to one another. The only way they could be accepted by the group was for everyone to be just like everyone else. Everyone is doing and saying all the same things without question.
Anyone who questioned how things were done was rejected by the others. It was intimidating to the attendees for someone to question what was always done because no one really understood why things were done; they just knew that to be accepted, they had to do them.
Since I was used to family rejection at home, the feelings of rejection anywhere else were familiar to me and unintimidating. I had learned through my childhood that there was no way anyone would like me, so I accepted that and didn't try to be liked. I felt hurt a lot as a child but later in life after I trusted Christ I was no longer hurt, my heart understood why and I was free. I don't remember ever being angry with people but I did want to flee those who didn't love well.
It must have been the Lord who was with me, even though I was not saved yet. I am convinced He kept me feeling loved even when I believed no one else loved me. Eventually, I was born again, and the reasons for my life experience became clear to me.
Sadly, many people, if not most, are in bondage to being accepted by others, so they resist questioning anything or refusing anything out of fear of rejection.
Proverbs 29:25-26 " 25 The fear of man is a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is set securely on high. 26 Many seek the ruler’s favour, but a man receives justice from the LORD.…"
Psalm 56:3-4 "When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. / In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
To this day, I thank and praise God for training in those early years, in dealing with rejection. The freedom from the fear of being rejected is so wonderful that it cannot be compared to someone with many friends who worries about rejection.
God trained me early in my life not to trust in man. As I grew older and began to seek Christ on my own, it was clear that He wanted me to be able to be hated while still loving others, even if they didn't love me, at the same time keeping me free from hate and anger. If I had to choose hate and anger or hurt feelings, I will take the hurt feelings. Eventually, I was no longer hurt, only sad for those who didn't know how to love.
This is the greatest blessing of all, when Christ dwells in us so richly that no other person could dominate me more fully than He does.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him. He is like a tree planted by the waters that sends out its roots toward the stream. It does not fear when the heat comes, and its leaves are always green. It does not worry in a year of drought, nor does it cease to produce fruit."
Psalm 118:8-9 "It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes."
Someone once asked me why I was so free to be so bold. The answer was simple, and yet the means were so complicated. When we have nothing to lose on this earth, then we can walk fully with Christ.
We cannot lose what we never had! If you feel you are unloved by most people, you are in a good place because Christ was also unloved by most people. Until we can learn to remain unloved and still faithful to Christ, we have much more to learn and are still too connected to this world, its traditions and ritualistic habits.
May the Lord free the brothers and sisters in Christ from all human tradition, rituals and bondages that keep them chained to this world. And may the Lord open the eyes of those who do not understand so they, too, can see with clarity.
Hallelujah!!!!
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