Ever notice how the narcissists in your life are angry when you mention principles of God, but then when you block them because you are offending them and do not wish to do so, they are mad because you blocked them.
Perhaps it isn't because of our differing views or the fact that we blocked them, perhaps it's because we didn't become them, doing what they do, saying what they say and believing what they believe.
Controlling others is the aim of narcissists, they care very little about substance and truth, placing manipulation and control over rational thinking, they manage to go with "feelings" every time.
Their feelings dictate that they experience personal glory and elevation regularly from their targets, without it they turn into mush unable to function, so their tactic is to bring the target back into submission through overt and covert intimidation.
The more the narcissist can make another human being feel "less than", the better and more whole the narcissist feels.
There is a little of this in all of us, we must fight it, pray about it and asked to be cleansed of it. Today we live in a culture that is deeply narcissistic, in order to avoid feeding the beast in us, we must remove ourselves from the narc while filling our hearts and minds with the Word of God.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
This does not exclude those in the body of Christ who have chosen to emulate the world. Until the narc in the church learns humility, they must be avoided.
1 Corinthians 5:7 "5:7 Clean out the old yeast so that you may be a new batch of dough – you are, in fact, without yeast. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed."
John 3:29-30 "…29 The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom stands by and listens for him, and is overjoyed to hear the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. 30 He must increase; I must decrease."
When a narcissist has turned from their arrogance and pride, then we must receive them back with gentleness and love to restore them. Let's not bypass the order which God has ordained by forgiving and receiving back before there is confession of sin. God's way is effective, unless we are dealing with a stubborn heart, then we must remove them until God has dealt with their heart.
Kathy Griffin has been in the news lately for her foolish and devilishly disrespectful antics, holding up the bloody head of our president.
What I am about to expose is her insincere apology that is indicative of narcissists, is her rolling eyes, her canned speech and her lack of sorrow in the voice. The response of many people was so strong that she was forced into an apology she would have rather not have had to make.
Narcissists are like this, they will manufacture "sorry" as a tool to regain the confidence of those who were appalled by her ridiculous sense of humor.
By the way folks, this was not just a joke or a rank sense of humor, as some may believe, it was an expression of her own desire for this to happen to our president. Often narcissists will cloak their spiteful and mean spirited heart, in jokes, so that they can claim, "it was just a joke."
If this same joke had been played on president Obama the media would have been all over it and she probably would have been arrested as a threat to our sitting president.
Narcissists have no problem mocking, demeaning and tormenting those who do not hold to their views. When they see that too many people who used to support them are withdrawing from them, (especially those who have withdrawn financial support for various add campaigns from her) they engage in more manipulation through phony and insincere apology, without ever intending to change their wicked heart. They will more than likely be more careful next time to hide their true self.
Kathy Griffin erroneously thought, having surrounded herself with liberals, that she could do and say anything and most people seeing it would laugh and support her. Often narcissists believe they are admired by everyone, thinking they can get away with anything.
The narc knows there are people out there that would be upset, but it would be those she does not respect and her intent is to cause anger in them, hoping they will become vitriolic, then she can say, "see how YOU are."
I cannot count the number of times the narcissists in my life poked at me until I would turn and angrily raise my voice to entreat them to stop their attacks. This was Griffin's hope, that she could cause conservatives and especially those who voted for Trump to become angry, saying and doing things she could point to. The narcissist loves to play the victim when they were the ones that started the fight.
Shame on Miss Griffin, she needs to confess her sin in a very real way, and turn to Christ for cleansing.
How we treat people is the evidence of what is in our heart. The fruit of the Spirit are the character qualities of Christ in us.
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Matthew 7:15-20
15 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.
16 You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?
17 So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.
18 A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.
19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
20 So then, you will know them by their fruits.
We can know the heart of a person, not by one act, but by many acts and habits. We can know a person's heart by their response to correction or instruction.
A person with bad fruit will always rage at any suggestion that there needs to be a change in their heart. These people never grow until they have been broken and confess.
A humble person will feel hurt at first at a rebuke, but will be grateful for the information and improve as they make a heart change. Joy will return to them as they engage in another growth spurt.
There are many people who claim to be Christian but lack the love, kindness and selflessness of Christ in their heart. If someone lacks this, learns of it through correction, then they can confess it and ask the Lord to cleans their heart to become more like Him.
James 5:16 "16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail."
Want to be cleansed by Christ? Admit that you have sinned, that you have offended God and others, then ask Christ to cleanse you of that sin and even reveal any others that linger there because of pride, then your spiritual growth will soar, the joy will flood in.
Each time we confess, each time the sin is dealt with, there is strength to more easily confess the next thing that needs attention. It gets easier as we learn how wonderful it feels to be free of guilt and one more sin.
We are not free of guilt by denying our sin, nor are we free of guilt by getting others to absolve us by accepting our sin. We are free by confessing it, being cleansed by God and moving forward in holiness. Hallelujah!
Ecclesiastes 10:2 " 2 A wise man's heart directs him toward the right, but the foolish man's heart directs him toward the left."
Interesting isn't it!
All men are have been and are being drawn to Christ, God works on everyone, but few will respond.
There is a reason, those who are not saved have rejected Christ, it is their choice.
Just as those who are saved have accepted Christ, it is their choice. God knows who will and who will not, but he does not force anyone.
Romans 10:10-12 "…10 For with your heart you believe and are justified, and with your mouth you confess and are saved. 11 It is just as the Scripture says: “Everyone who believes in Him will not be put to shame.” 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Greek: The same Lord is Lord of all, and is rich to all who call on Him,…"
34 Then Peter began to speak: “I now truly understand that God does not show favoritism, 35 but welcomes those from every nation who fear Him and do what is right.…
ALL those who desire to be cleansed by Christ, will be saved!
Romans 10:8-10 "…8 But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9 that if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with your heart you believe and are justified, and with your mouth you confess and are saved.…"
Steve Hulshizer, wrote in an article in the Counsel Magazine, these words:
"It should be noted that Christ did not say "remember me in my death." His request was that they would remember HIM. It was a person they were to remember not so much an event."
1 Corinthians 11:23-25
"23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus in the night in which He was betrayed took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same way He took the cup also after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”
I heard a story the other day on the radio, I can't remember who said it but I will never forget the story because it hit home in a way that was profound. Forgive me if I don't relay it perfectly but here is my memory:
There was a man, his son and a donkey, who were going into town, the man rode the donkey while the son walked alongside. The townspeople were critical of the man because he made the son walk along side while he rode.
The next time they went to town the man decided to walk while his son rode the donkey to silence the mouths of the towns people. As they approached the town the people were angry because the boy was on the donkey, a sign of disrespect while the man had to walk.
In the following trip to town the man decided to just walk into town, that way the people would have nothing to be angry about, they would both be walking. To his dismay, as the son and his father approached the town, the people mocked them saying; "can you believe that, they have a donkey but they walked, how silly."
This is an illustration of what it is like for a scapegoat in the family. No matter what they do, it will be criticized and mocked simply because the "towns people" don't like the people they target.
The "towns people" don't like their targets because they are jealous, they can't control the actions and reactions of the target and they have a deep contempt and resentment that cannot be quenched.
If any of you have experienced this, you know how frustrating it can be. The narcissist will not only mock and demean you, often covertly so others cannot see it, as well as praising others in your presence to make you jealous of their attention.
I have actually had narcissists brag on others for things they mocked me about, to show clearly that they approved of the others, while I was diminished in their eyes.
Sadly, I still cannot figure out what the narcissists get out of this covert tactic, other than feeling good that they hurt their scapegoat.
I can only surmise that jealousy is the driving force behind the intention to diminish and demean another human being merely for self elevation purposes.
Philippians 2:3 "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem the other better than himself."
We know that someone is not walking with Christ when they gain pleasure from devaluing another human being. The need to be superior is driven by hate. Arrogance is not of God on any level, in fact those that love self promotion cannot see themselves under a God they cannot see, they must make themselves god.
How can someone who harbors jealousy in their heart ever be submitted to the God of the universe who requires humility to follow Him?
Romans 12:3
"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned."
Isaiah 13:11
"I will punish the world for its evil, and the wicked for their iniquity; I will put an end to the pomp of the arrogant, and lay low the pompous pride of the ruthless."
James 1:20-22 "…20 for man’s anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and every expression of evil, and humbly receive the word planted in you, which can save your souls. 22 Be doers of the word, and not hearers only. Otherwise, you are deceiving yourselves.…"
Galatians 6:7-8
"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal."
Another element of the narcissistic ploy is to turn others against those the narcissist cannot dominate. If they can have no effect on the life of their target, then they will use others to diminish them.
2 Corinthians 12:20 "20 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder."
There is nothing new under the son, Paul the apostle encountered all that we have. The Bible gives us all the wisdom we need to obey Him, most will not turn to God for their wisdom, they will cherry pick their favorite verses to make them say what they want to believe, while ignoring the very ones that would convict them of their sinfulness. Many believers remain spiritual infants because they love to hang onto their pride.
We need to be reading the word to be convicted that we might grow and be cleansed to walk in holiness. When the Bible is sought merely to elevate ourselves, "I'm doing this", or "I'm doing that", then is when we realize our focus is fleshly and self promoting.
Stop saying "I'm doing this" or "I'm doing that", and begin to ask the Lord what we are not doing that we should. Our quest for wisdom ought to change our dirty hearts and prideful actions. The more we seek Him the more we are cleansed.
