There are those who think that they have stayed staunchly to the Bible, reading daily and seeking God for particular leadings of the Holy Spirit, not realizing they have incorporated into their thinking and actions the worldly philosophy they say they don't believe.
What many of these people do not realize is that they have bought into much of the new age movement end times thinking without realizing it.
Many believers have raised their children on self esteem thinking they were not. Some of the practices of self esteem teaching are "time out", sending a small child to their room to be isolated from the rest of the family, is one of the most common elements used as "discipline." This concept is not found in the Bible, but comes from worldly psychology. There is the philosophy of praise, continually and for everything. There is the attitude that the child should reach for fame and glory in his sports and academics. Then there is the expectation that rewards would come every time there is any form of accomplishment.
God says this;
Proverbs 22:15 "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him."
Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly."
God mandated that we discipline our children quickly and with the rod, this allows for the child to remain with his family while seeing the sinfulness of his actions.
I am convinced that isolating a child to "think about his action" is sin, causing bitterness and anger in the child. Quick discipline and returning to normal activity show the child love while accepting him, he will see that a spanking comes with disobedience, but that we love them and want them with us.
Self esteem has taught children that they are not loved because of their actions. Christ teaches we are loved in spite of our actions and that our discipline will be to restore us to family relationships.
Other forms of self esteem teaching promotes excessive praising, even for everyday duties. God teaches us to do our duty even if there is no praise for it.
Romans 12:1 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service."
Luke 17:10 "So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do."
Often these days we praise children to such an extent, that they think they must be praised and thanked for every action, even the slightest responsibility carried out, deserves praise. We thank them for obeying us, we thank them for taking a cup to the kitchen, making them think that they are special every time they merely do what is expected of a humble reasonable person.
I do think there are times to thank a child, but our culture has done this ad nauseam. Parents as saying things like "please Johnny will you do as I say", leaving a child thinking that his parents have to beg him to get things out of him. When the child is in control then the parent has to beg. When the parent is in control the child must obey at the simple command to do so.
When we are parents, we teach the children by our expectations, we teach them how we should respond to God. The modern child has learned from the modern parenting, that he has the option to obey or not, that he should be rewarded for every single thing he does and that if God will say please nicely, then we will obey.
What a disgusting picture of our view of God. He is one to be feared and revered, never at any time did God treat us as though we had as much value as He does, quite the opposite. Equality with parents has taught children to feel equal to God, therefore His is only to be acknowledged when He gives us what we want.
God does not beg us to obey Him, He merely gives us the command and expects obedience. With every command often are given the consequences if we do not obey.
An example: "Johnny it is your turn to clean up the kitchen, I want you to start now." If Johnny argues then he is disciplined and the command is repeated.
Never say to a child who has obeyed, "thank you for obeying." This places the child in a position of authority and gives him the option to resist obeying in the future.
The child in our day, is also being trained that he should be thanked for doing what is normal human responsibility. We carry out many daily activities that we do not get thanked for, the reward of our actions comes with knowing we pleased God.
Perhaps a better way to treat obedience in a child is to express that we are pleased that they obeyed God in obeying us. Teaching a child that obedience to God and parents is its own reward, the relationship is enhanced and there is accomplishment when everyone does what is their duty. Then the matter becomes about obedience rather than a task.
We need to be diligent about our tasks and do things with an attitude of excellence, however that even pales compared to the attitude of obedience. An obedient attitude is far more important than the accomplishment of the task.
Self esteem techniques of today foster arrogance in the children. They think they deserve things instead of being grateful for them.
We can be grateful for finishing a task, and the praise will not be very important.
Proverbs 29:21 "Pamper a slave from childhood, and later he will be ungrateful."
The modern child is indulged in every sort of fun and play, so much so, that they have become ungrateful. If we want our children to be grateful, we do not train them to love personal enjoyment or think of themselves as special.
Proverbs 12:9 "He that despises himself and becomes a slave is better than he that honours himself and lacks bread."
Proverbs 15:33 "The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility."
It is not love to follow the tenets of the self esteem movement, but rather hate, carefully and slyly executed by satan. He has fooled many people into following principles that sounded....OH sooooooo good! but in fact are have devastated our culture and ruined the testimony of the church.
God showed us what the self esteem teaching would produce in 2 Timothy 3:2-5, here is what it looks like;
"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,
traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!"
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