There are those who are teaching men in churches that their wives are nothing more than their property to be bossed about and to serve them. This could not be farther from the truth.
1 Peter 5:3 "nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock."
A man who is a true leader, instructs, and is an example of what he instructs, but he does not force or manipulate with meanness and anger.
Any man who requires absolute obedience from his wife is not understanding the Biblical mandate for the woman to be the help meet.
A wife is a coach and mentor to her husband. The husband is to heed her warnings and instructions. Any man who refuses to listen to his wife is a narcissist and walks in arrogance.
A godly man never treats his wife with this kind of disrespect. God told the husband to treat the wife as the weaker vessel. That term "weaker vessel" brings the connotation of a delicate China cup to be cherished and protected.
The husband's greatest concern should be not for his own desires but for the nurturing and protection of those whom he leads.
Selfish manipulation and a demanding spirit is no where to be found in the Word. The men that do this are sure to frustrate their wives and end up scratching their heads when the wife pulls away and even runs away.
When we are treated with respect and honor, then we are able to revere the husband.
When a husband treats a wife like she is a possession or a child, he creates rebellion in her, breaking her spirit and her heart. If anyone did that to him then he would rebel too.
We do not treat people like our personal slaves to do our bidding. We treat everyone with honor even in our leading.
1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."
Let's remember that leadership is by its very nature actually serving.
One who will not serve, neglecting his own things for the sake of others, is not worthy to be a leader.
The woman has been given charge over the house hold. God gave that position to her, not her husband. Her husband is to honor the mandates of the wife in the household, even to taking off his shoes if that is one of her rules.
Proverbs 1:8 "My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:"
Mothers and Fathers both teach and train the children. When the mother makes a rule, it is up to the Father to uphold that in the sight of the children. When the Father makes a rule then it is up to the Mother to uphold that also, unless either one is doing something against God's will, then there must be discussion and refusal to disobey God over the submission to the spouse.
Acts 5:29 "But Peter and the apostles answered, "We must obey God rather than men."
A man is to lead his wife in righteousness. If he does not then the woman must choose righteousness in spite of her husband. If a woman will not follow the lead of her husband in righteousness, then the husband must pray and continue on with God no matter what his wife does.
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