Feelings are automatic, they do not think they just happen. Yes they are irrelevant. We do not deny the feelings but we must analyze them in light of truth. We have feelings but we cannot live by them. Those who live by feelings often act badly because their feelings are inaccurate.
A jealous person will act as thought you are a bad person if you make more money than they do. They interpret us as being bad for having something more than they do.
Have you ever felt (feelings) bad because someone accused you of something you didn't do? All of us have had this happen. But the bad feelings didn't mean we did anything wrong, they only arise because we have been accused.
How about when we did something good for someone and they were jealous and act mean toward us. Our feelings are telling us we have a reason to feel bad. But we do not, we are sorry someone was ungrateful and did not receive our gift, but the feelings tell us things are bad when we did a good thing.
We must ignore the feelings and go with truth.
There have been many times in my life when I made a good choice, even to honor God but those around me acted as though I did something stupid, foolish or mean. The feelings come with a sense of shame for doing what was good. But the shame is not accurate, there should never be shame for doing what is our personal convictions. The shame is inaccurate and should be ignored.
Over time as we grow stronger the feelings are more accurate because we ignore those who attempt to place shame on us for doing what we believe in.
I was once told by someone that they didn't respect me. The reason this person didn't respect me was because I took a strong stand against divorce and remarriage. The accusation that I was not worthy of respect was not because I did something wrong, but because I did something that was pleasing to God.
Those who are rebellious often attempt to intimidate us into feeling shame for standing for truth. There are those "disapproving grunts" I call them. When a person does not want to come right out and say you are wrong but does want you to feel bad about your assertions. A sort of grunting sound as though you said something terrible when all you did was tell the truth.
The disapproving grunt has also been used when there is jealousy. Perhaps you expressed excitement about a good thing that is happening to you and the jealous one expresses their "grunt" to make you feel as though what is happening to you is foolish when in actuality the thing was a blessing.
One of the signs of a good friendship is when our friend is joyful for the good things that happen to us.
As a child growing up I could do nothing right in the eyes of my family members. When I had an idea that was not sinful or wrong, just different from how they think, I was mocked as though the idea was horrid or wicked. One of those times was when I told my mother that I wanted to be a homemaker. She mocked it, attempted to discourage me since my father became injured and couldn't work, she believed all women should get a job in case their husband couldn't work anymore.
I have been married 48 years now next month. My husband was able to hold down a job until he retired and even continues in a new business of his own to this day. I did what I believed in, after I became born again I pursued it even more vigorously because I loved it.
When we see someone demeaning our choices that are not sinful, just different from theirs, then we know this is not good friend material. Often those of our families of origin are not friend material. In my case I was mocked and demeaned continually for the choices I made that I knew was direction from God.
Galatians 6:2 "2 Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the Law of Christ. 3 Galatians 5:22 ESV / 14 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
Philippians 2:3-4 "3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."
Of course I had sin in my life especially before I was born again. But I have no doubt that Christ put in my heart even before I became born again, the desire to be a homemaker. I have lived in that role all my life, enjoying the tasks before me as well as the blessings that came from obeying Him.
For many years I have had "Christians" who would devalue me and what I did simply because it wasn't what they would have done. Some of them even were jealous of my happiness in my choice and worked to destroy that joy. Their tactics never worked but one thing that did happen was a destruction of what could have been great relationships.
Jealousy is senseless, it destroys relationships, often irreparably damaging any chance of reconciliation. Since the only way there can be a relationship repair is to confess that jealousy and go on to be different. The narcissist sees their jealousy as power against their target, the more important matter to them than a clean and joyful melding of two souls in friendship.
James 3:16
"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice."
The feeling of jealousy is never accurate. It demonstrates a heart that is ungrateful for their own blessings while desiring the blessings of others. Often this feeling of jealousy lies and says that the person they are jealous of does not deserve what has been given to them. There is an entire lie that the person who is the target of jealousy is a person unworthy of love and affirmation.
Exodus 20:17
“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.”
The truth is that all of us have had sin in our lives. None of us deserve anything. Our blessings are gifts from God because He loves us. What right has anyone else to judge a person as too imperfect for a blessing from God.
Jealousy is a relationship destroyer, if there is any hint of jealousy in our feelings we need to confess that jealousy. Kill it by ignoring it while analyzing our own hearts to see why there is a continual emerging of it, to seek out and destroy what is in the heart that enjoys the feeling of jealousy.
What a wonderful blessing it is when we are free from jealousy, lies and deceit. Christ can do this within us. We will not have to battle it every day if we are seeking Christ and praying for deliverance. God will deliver anyone who wants to be delivered. As long as someone refuses to admit their sin they will not be delivered.
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
When our focus is Christ we will have no need to feel superior to anyone, in fact we will bow low to be a servant to others, that we may be free from jealousy or anger over silly things. Nor will anyone who loves us desire to keep fresh in our minds the sins of our past. Those who love Christ and love us know they have their own sins of the past and that Christ took them all away. There is no need to punish someone over past forgiven sins, except and unless there is passionate jealousy dwelling in that heart of destruction.
Psalm 25:5-7
"5 Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all the day.
6 Remember, O Lord, Your compassion and Your lovingkindnesses,
For they have been from of old.
7 Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
According to Your lovingkindness remember me,
For Your goodness’ sake, O Lord."
Hallelujah we are forgiven, we are blessed, each a little differently but gloriously.
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