Young people should pray for God to bring their spouse. They should not look for one based on outer appearance or personality. God will only bring someone of good character which is far more valuable than physical attraction.
Narcissists go to church to find spouses because they are more likely to find empaths there to dominate.
False guilt is in the minds of lots of church goers. Young people believe they have to do what others want them to do and to be friendly to everyone. Guilting someone to spend time with them merely because they are interested works on a lot of young people. If others in the gathering are pushing a young person toward someone that God did not send, then the answer ought to be , "NO", I am not interested. Peer pressure is huge in the modern church and few people have discernment to be able to see character flaws that will be a huge problem in marriage.
I believe strongly that we should test people. If they show an interest in a young person the one who is being pursued needs to challenge the pursuer to see what comes out. A narcissist will become hurt and angry at a challenge, their response to Scripture and hard questions will often reveal what is inside.
If the pursuer is attempting to do a "personality make over" then is when it is time to walk away. There are those who would tell us how to speak, what to wear and what we should like in nearly everything. As soon as you see the narcissist working to dominate everything we do that is the time to call it quits.
These people are not interested in anyone as a person, but they are interested in making you into the person they want you to be. When we love someone for themselves we share concerns and we have honest conversations but mostly we enjoy the qualities of one another without a desire to create another person in our own image.
We are never called to be unkind to anyone, however encouraging the advances of just anyone through flirting will real in the narcissist who may be very bad for young believers.
It is very important that young people learn the signs of narcissist before they commit to marriage. If they can see the signs ahead of time they can avoid a life time of misery for themselves and their future children.
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Proverbs 18:6
"A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating."
Proverbs 28:26
"Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered."
Proverbs 23:9
"Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words."
Proverbs 13:20
"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."
Fools are unwise, trouble is their name!
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