Monday, September 23, 2019

Why We Must Walk Away from the Narcissist

Narcissists can only feel good about themselves when they are negating someone else. Unless they are special in their own mind they are nothing. They become angry when they meet someone who does not act as though they are special.

The narcissist attacks those who do not make them special. They have a false self that is held up by the opinions of others. Even if you love the narcissist they will not recognize the love unless it praises them to build their ego.

God said that these kind of people will grow in number in these last days. It is prudent to recognize them to be able to avoid them or to be able to learn how to live with them if there is no escape.

God said in the end times in which we live there will be mentalities that are very dangerous and impossible to reason with, character flaws that encompass their entire being without chance of change.

These mentalities are listed here in 2 Timothy 3:1-5

Keep in mind that the word "Perilous" means "ragingly insane."

2 Timothy 3:1-5
"1 But realize this, that in the last days perilous times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."

As we move through these "ragingly insane" times we must learn to deal with it Biblically. One of the ways we deal with it is to not deal with it at all. As soon as we recognize the narcissist we can calmly remove ourselves from them while moving on to healthy individuals. Keep in mind too that there will not be many reasonable people left in the world in these times of rampant immaturity.

Narcissists are basically giant six year olds having a tantrum. They will rage at the slightest hint of correction or rebuke and they do need a lot but will refuse any at all.

Matthew 10:13-15 "…13 If the home is worthy, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14 And if anyone will not welcome you or heed your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. 15 Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town."

This passage speaks of going door to door in evangelism but applies everywhere we are when we speak of the Lord. It can also apply to family who will not listen when told they must repent.

We are not called to continue in someone's life who has rejected our message or us. Those who reject us will not listen to anything we have to say. The only thing that will happen if we remain with rebellious spirits is that we will tire of their nonsense and probably without realizing it, end up acting the way they do in defensiveness.

1 Corinthians 15:33-34 "33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 34 Sober up as you ought, and stop sinning; for some of you are ignorant of God. I say this to your shame.…"

The goal of the narcissist is to poke at you continually until you lose control and then they feel they have power over you. God commands us not to be like the wicked people, the best way to avoid being tricked into bad responses is to avoid the narcissist entirely.

James 4:4
"You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God."

Ephesians 5:11
"Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them."

Romans 12:1-2
"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Those who are continually living in a state of contention seeking whom they may trap in their web will be a distraction from our walk with God. They do not desire to know truth they only wish to be seen by others as all knowing. Those who do not elevate them as all knowing will be their targets for defeat. Satan is very clever, he will make the narcissist accuse the target of what the narcissist is doing and the target is not. They are huge on the blame game when they were the ones who started the fight.

Remember we have no need to defend ourselves or argue with rebellious types, we can maintain our dignity, walking away not having sinned. You see, the devil wants us to sin by responding in kind to the narcissists attacks.

James 4:6-8 "6 But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."

Final Take Away: do not waste your time on arguers who will deny the truth of God's word to elevate their own ideas. These people want you to fail and fall. We find many of these in the church gatherings today, we must rebuke them and then ignore them when they respond badly or not at all. In other words when they ignore our rebukes they have sent the message that they refuse to seek God for the truth about themselves. There is no humility or desire for holiness in those who will not admit they need growth. Then is when we move on. Do not allow them back into your life unless they have been broken over their sin of pride.




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