All the rules and guidelines for the born again believer are in the Bible and the Bible is accessible to every believer with rare exceptions.
Leaders in the church preach, teach, and guide by example. Nowhere will you find commands to control, intimidate, or demean others into doing what they think is right. And, the leaders are sinning when they add anything to scripture to make sure those they lead do exactly what they say.
One example of this might be a special style of clothing everyone is required to wear. Yes, we want to promote respect for God's houses and maybe even preach on modesty because it is in the Bible, however, intimidating people who are modest but have a different style from others is sin.
When a leader approaches a brother or sister he is to do so in a spirit of love to show him the way using the Bible as the measure of truth.
1 Corinthians 11:1
"Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ."
1 Peter 5:1-5 "1 Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed,
2 shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness;
3 nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.
4 And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.
5 You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
1 Timothy 4:12
"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."
Hebrews 13:7
"Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith."
Imitate the leaders only in so far as they imitate and follow Christ. We are not to follow leaders who bring their own agenda or human rules to bear.
There are those in the church who have their perfect idea of holiness not proven by Scripture but foster an attitude of superiority just as the Pharisees demonstrated.
Luke 18:9-17
"The Pharisee and the Publican
9 And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt:
10“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
11 The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.
12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’
13 But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’
14 I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
15 And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they began rebuking them.
16 But Jesus called for them, saying, “Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
17 Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.”
Notice the Pharisee was not praying to God, he was praying to himself. Vs.11
Rejecting, intimidating, mocking, or demeaning someone into doing what you think is right is not God's way. Also, it is foolish to think YOU can change the heart of anyone by treating them disrespectfully. We are to speak the truth in love with a desire to help people understand what God says in His Word, we are NOT responsible to make sure the person we speak to obeys us. We are to trust God for His outcome in anyone's life. We speak and God works.
Intimidation does nothing to change a heart. If someone does comply because of your intimidation they still remain the same person only now they will hide their heart to be accepted by you.
Intimidation shows the heart of one doing it, there is an attitude of; "I am superior to you and if you want me to love you then you must do what I do."
Those who intimidate others because they don't think the same way are also those who have no love in their heart.
Yes, discipline is sometimes necessary, but it ought to come with a heavy heart at having to do it. It ought to show empathy for those who must endure it. One who finds glee in melting anyone into a puddle on the floor through their withholding of love is an evil person wanting only to maintain a stance of superiority.
Galatians 6:1-2 "1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him with a spirit of gentleness. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.
2 Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.…"
In verse 1 of this passage, God says "watch yourself or you also may be tempted", there is a temptation to be Pharisaical in acting superior when dealing with someone who has sinned. This too would be a great sin.
Our goal as born again believers is to help one another see the truth of Scripture with the attitude of obeying it because we love God so much we desire to please Him.
Hebrews 3:12-13 "12 See to it, brothers, that none of you has a wicked heart of unbelief that turns away from the living God. 13 But exhort one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. "
Our great love for one another is shown in our desire to see a sinner repent and become restored. Forgiving someone who is not sorry about their sin is not loving as much as beating up emotionally on a repentant sinner is, both are evil.
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