No one can "rude or mean" someone into accepting Christ. We must show the love and concern of Christ when we show others their sin and need for repentance to become born again.
Those who think if they are superior enough, mean enough or intimidating enough they can shame others into accepting Christ they are operating from their own arrogance and not the love of Christ.
When we love people and Christ we will weep for them when they sin, not glorying in glee that we are above someone else.
There is some truth to the idea that "except for the grace of God there go I." We have all sinned, some bigger than others but no one deserved to be rescued by Christ through faith in His work on the cross, NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON.
Since all have fallen short of the glory of God and all were headed to hell before they repented and trusted in Christ, then all must have compassion for the lost. Those who lack compassion for the lost will never weep over a Christian sibling who has fallen and confessed their sin. Those who glory in the fall of others are themselves likely unsaved and headed to hell.
As born-again believers, we ought to be saddened and grieved when a brother or sister falls. We ought to be broken along with the believer who is confessing to be cleansed while helping to restore them to fellowship.
If anyone comes to you in anger to discuss a matter, tell them to come back when they are no longer angry. An angry person who seeks to intimidate through rage will not be open to your side of the story. They will not listen they will only shut you down, they want their own say but will not want you to bring another side to it. Someone who has been wronged will come to discuss, which means each person talks and each person listens to learn.
If anyone comes desiring to fight they will not be someone who hears anything you say. The goal for the born-again believer is to discuss to resolve something. The fighter only wants to bludgeon to win over you.
If a born-again believer does not confess we are to keep our distance from them until they are grieved over their sin enough to confess it.
John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
1 Timothy 5:22 "22 Do not be too quick in the laying on of hands and thereby share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure"
The reason for our rejection of a born-again believer who is in sin, is not to punish them but o show them the seriousness of their actions and that we do not partake in their sin by encouraging them in it. To continue friendly contact with a sinning sibling is to help them remain in their sin, this is not love. Love is to encourage them through isolation to confess and be cleansed of their sin restoring them to fellowship.
The need for confession of sin has been removed from modern gatherings infecting the rest of the gathering to feel no shame over sin. In fact, the one who confronts sin to cause confession and cleansing is the one who is beaten up by others in our modern day.
1 Timothy 5:20, "As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear."
Proverbs 27:5-7 "…5 Better an open rebuke than love that is concealed. 6 The wounds of a friend are faithful, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. 7 The soul that is full loathes honey, but to a hungry soul, any bitter thing is sweet.…"
Proverbs 28:23
"He who rebukes a man will later find more favor than one who flatters with his tongue."
We are never to rebuke anyone for past forgiven sins as though they cannot be restored, this is arrogance and glee over the fall of another. Those who do this must be rebuked themselves, they walk in the sin of pride and unforgiveness.
If someone hears gossip about someone else they have no right or business to forgive or not to forgive if the sin was not against them. Forgiveness is given by God and the person they offended, not anyone else.
If someone walks up to you and says they forgive you for something you did to someone else they are out of line. They have no business taking on the charge of forgiveness for another person.
In other words, if the sin was not against you, mind your own business and do not make judgments about anything that was not done to you personally.
Those who love Christ also love to forgive a broken repentant soul. They weep with them, they do not seek to find past forgiven sins to glory about to feel superior.
We only have the power to forgive those who have sinned against us personally when they were repentant. The sins of others against others are not our business. We can show empathy when someone has been wronged but the confession is not for us and the forgiveness is not ours to give. Only busybodies attempt to insert themselves into the relationships of others that have nothing to do with them.
However, if we see someone sinning against another person then we have the responsibility to speak up immediately and rebuke the sinner.
1 Timothy 5:19-21 "…19 Do not entertain an accusation against an elder, except on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 20 But those who persist in sin should be rebuked in front of everyone, so that the others will stand in fear of sin. 21 I solemnly charge you before God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels to maintain these principles without bias, and to do nothing out of partiality.…"
Gossip is always embellished with bobbles and snippets of trinkets that the one who gossips wishes to manipulate. the hearer into believing The news media is like this, they leave out important information that helps the understanding in order to divert the attention of the hearer onto a different train of thought often nothing like what really happened.
Gossipers love to embellish to sway the way you think about someone. It is one thing to show empathy toward a trusted friend who is sharing their plight and quite another to pass it to another person with added verbiage that are only personal thoughts about what could have been happening that were never conveyed by their friend.
Wicked people love their gossip, they thrive on demeaning those they are jealous of and who cannot defend themselves.
I once heard a story about how gossip works. Someone takes a feather pillow to a high hill where the wind is wildly blowing. They slit the pillow open and watch the feathers fly in the wind. Now go try to get back every feather, it cannot be done. When the gossip flies like feathers in the wind people who find the feather will want to hang onto it and even pass it to others. It is impossible to get the feathers back or to prevent them from being passed to others.
One thing for sure as I have seen happen, those who gossip always embellish with their own ideas and they always believe the first thing they heard even if the truth came out they still remain faithful to the lie they heard first.
Don't gossip and don't listen to gossip, if you hear it before you can stop it, refuse to repeat it, and refuse to act upon it.
Ephesians 4:29
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
Proverbs 6:16-19
"There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers."
Proverbs 16:28
"A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends."
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