Just to give everyone an idea of what narcissistic projection looks like I would like to tell a story based on my youth growing up with full-blown narcissists.
I knew of a man whose family lived next door to his brother's family. Every so often the two brothers would stand in the field discussing which model of car was better, the Ford or the Chevy.
In the mind of the Chevy brother the Ford brother was a fool and treated him with a great deal of contempt as he allowed his emotions to escalate into rude words and shouting as he tried to convince his brother that he was wrong.
The Chevy brother would leave the argument, come into the house and vent to his family how rude the Ford brother had been, when in fact, it was the Chevy brother who started the whole thing without provocation. Think about this, OVER THE MODEL OF CAR, the Chevy brother caused trouble over nothing important and lied to his family about who was at fault.
Over the years it became clear to the daughter of the Chevy man that her father was the one who was the trouble maker. It all became more clear as she pondered the daily angst and emotionally volatile way in which her father acted toward his own family. Everything was someone else's fault and he was perfect in all he did. He would apologize occasionally but never changed.
Sadly he had managed to convince his sons that he was such a great guy because he did good deeds for neighbors once in a while. They spoke of him as someone to emulate and look up to for his occasional help to a neighbor.
What became clear to the Chevy man's daughter was that he did his good deeds to be praised by others and came home and was rude and mean to his wife and the scapegoated daughter in the family. It was only the scapegoated daughter who could see the real him, all the rest of the family refused to admit what this man was and the sinful things he did.
Later in life as the daughter was married this Chevy man said the most vile things to her thinking that now that she was an adult he could gossip pornographic things to her that he would not have shared with her as a child. He also attempted to speak these things to the daughter's husband.
Even when the daughter and her husband told him to stop talking about these things he continued as though he didn't hear them. They threatened to leave if he would not stop and he still kept going. Finally as they began to get up to leave he got the message and stopped. He even apologized, but we knew he was only apologizing because of the consequences we were giving him, the apology was not to be believed because he would have continued if the daughter and her husband had not threatened him.
This was a classic case of the narcissist treating people disrespectfully to appear superior while claiming it was the other person who was the troublemaker.
Narcissists often cause problems with people they wish to control and berate others as the problem. Those who see the truth and tell the truth are the scapegoats.
Sadly this man's reputation in the community was a good one because the flying monkeys who had been brainwashed by him to believe his lies elevated him as special. And, sadly these brothers who believed their father became just like him, using rudeness and anger to control others just like their father did. They praised the father because they wanted to be like him, controlling others with rude words and anger.
And, in the process, they denied the wicked things this father did in order to maintain the false family scenario. The scapegoated daughter was the truth-teller, exposing the evil thereby becoming the one everyone treated with contempt, despising her because she would not fall in line with the family system of hiding the truth.
When you encounter someone who defends evil just to appear special you have encountered a devil. Not only will these people lie to maintain a false persona they will lie against the truth teller to discredit them.
Matthew 15:19
"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders."
Proverbs 12:22
"Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord,
But those who deal faithfully are His delight."
John 8:44
"You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
John 8:55
"and you have not come to know Him, but I know Him; and if I say that I do not know Him, I will be a liar like you, but I do know Him and keep His word."
No one can be a born-again believer and defend wicked people!!!!
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