As I was pondering the mess of divorce and remarriage, God brought to mind relationships between little girls in elementary school. Grade school children are emotional and basically have no filter when it comes to actions and responses to one another.
Little girls will declare they won't be our friend anymore because we didn't give them what they wanted. They will take their toys and go home if they can't win.
Little girls will ignore you in the halls to show you that you are not worthy of kindness and respect because you didn't validate what they wanted to do.
Little girls will friend a new person and flaunt them past you at recess and in the halls to show you they have found someone better than you. And, worse they will gossip about you to the new friend and turn that person against you.
Little girls will treat the new friend better than they did you so you can see their love is only for the new friend and you are irrelevant and unimportant to them.
Little girls will take innocent comments and actions, spinning them to the new source as bad things even if there was nothing at all unacceptable in your activities or verbal exchanges.
In short, little girls can be very petty and mean merely because they were not praised or their perception was that they were not validated in some way. And, often their perceptions are entirely wrong based on their own selfish mindset.
Why do I equate little elementary school girls to divorce and remarriage, you might ask? Divorce and remarriage is elementary school immaturity at best and devastating to families at worst.
I don't think it is that complicated, really. The excuses I have heard for divorce have been on the level of spoiled little girls who refuse to work through anything, because they have no sense of a deep love for the one they harm.
I knew of one woman who divorced her husband back in the day because he didn't want her to buy a car; he felt a one-car family was enough. While this would be very irritating to some, it is not a reason to throw away a husband.
I laughed at this because we were a one-car family for the first 18 years of our marriage. We worked things out as needed, and we didn't fight over it. We have been married for almost 54 years now and over the years, many things have changed as the finances have improved.
I have heard of situations in which husbands and wives were into some very bad lifestyles. Their spouses divorced them and married someone else and years later their original spouse repented, cleaned up their lives and they were able to reconcile. Keep in mind it takes faith in God to obey Him when things are very hard.
Divorce and remarriage are acts of defiance against God and hatred for the spouse. Not to mention they are as childish as the little girls in elementary school who want harm to come to their former friend.
Christ died for us while we were still sinners. He experienced a brutal and hateful persecution so that we could become saved from our sin and hell.
When Christ makes two people one in marriage, our treatment of our spouse cannot be based on feelings; it must be based on God's truth and faith in His ways. We do not love for what we get out of it, we love because Christ loved us, and we should practice love as a choice with the person who is our other half.
Matthew 19:6 "6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”
Many times I have heard people proclaim they love the one they are dating because they make them feel good or make them laugh. Notice the focus here: "they make me", "they give me", nothing about that love interest being a good companion because they make them a better person or they love God. It's all about how they feel when they are around the one they are thinking of marrying.
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves."
No one can separate what God has joined. It is a picture of salvation for the born-again believer; no one can be separated from Christ when He lives in us, has transformed us, and keeps us.
When He died to reconcile us to Him, we trusted in what He did, and that He can keep us, we know that our oneness with Him cannot be undone because it was not something we did; it was His work. Nor can the oneness He did in a married couple be undone by any piece of paper or decree of a human judge.
Because the modern Christian who accepts and defends divorce and remarriage views human relationships as expendable rather than a melding of souls. They continue to treat one another as separate individuals rather than half of a whole. And, worse they use one another until they lose their usefulness.
Malachi 2:16 16 “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence,” says the Lord of armies. “So be careful about your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
God says that if we so much as hate our brethren, we are committing murder. Divorce is an act of hatred, the deisre that the spouse were dead.
1 John 3:14-16 "…14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. The one who does not love remains in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that eternal life does not reside in a murderer. 16 By this we know what love is: Jesus laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."
Matthew 5:21-22 "You have heard that it was said to the ancients, ‘Do not murder’ and ‘Anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ will be subject to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be subject to the fire of hell.
Matthew 15:19 "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander."
Divorce is hatred and a desire that the spouse never existed. And remarriage is an act of sexual immorality since the first spouse remains alive and God's command was that the oneness union is not severed until death.
John 8:44 "You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out his desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, refusing to uphold the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, because he is a liar and the father of lies."
Mark 10:11-12 "So He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18 "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
The mentality of the modern Christian is that if they can find a good reason to defy God's commands, they are free to do what displeases Him. They cherry-pick the things they like to follow and pride themselves in it, but ignore the things they don't like while disrespectfully treating anyone who speaks the truth that exposes their rebellion against God.
These are the end times, truth telling Chrsitians are despised, excluded, and rejected.
2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.…"
We are living in apostate times in which very few people attending the institutional church gatherings will endure sound doctrine. Don't let it discourage you, keep obeying Christ, speaking truth as led by the Holy Spirit, and ignore those who are hell-bent on rejecting God's word.
Keep Looking Up!!!!!
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