For those who believe we should forgive those who are not sorry, this passage may bring clarity.
John 20:22-23 "And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.”
Luke 17:3-4 "3Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Our relationship with God cannot be reconciled without admitting we are sinners and in need of the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Our relationship with others is not fully restored unless we admit our offenses against them.
Matthew 5:23-24 "…23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."
1 John 4:20-21 "If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And we have this commandment from Him: Whoever loves God must love his brother as well."
Perhaps it would be good for us to ask ourselves these questions; "Do I love my brother enough to go to him with his offense against me so that he can repent." and "Do I love my brother enough to go to him and tell him my offense so that our relationship can be reconciled."?
Forgiveness is not about making ourselves feel better, even superior to those who have offended us. Confession and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin, both must be present to reconcile a relationship.
Today in our culture I see far too many people saying things like; "Just let it go" as though it is the higher road to take, elevating themselves. Yes, there are things that are irritating but not the level of a sin. This is not what we are talking about, it is sin that causes damage to others and often continual and persistent.
There are many things we can "just let go", such as someone who took our parking space at the store, or someone who ate the last cookie. These are not necessarily sins, just oversights or innocent acts. These are not worthy of a discussion about offense.
Relationships are becoming complicated and petty over silly things because anything that was done that irritated us is being treated as though it were a personal offense.
We have two problems going on in our culture today, those who are hyper sensitive to criticism and those who will not take a look at anything to resolve irritatioins out of fear of someone being offended. So what we have is a culture that walks around on egg shells without the ability to be honest and open and little is resolved in relationships.
We are living in the 2 Timothy 3:1-5 generation.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
Colossians 3:13 "Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
How did God forgive? He forgave when there was confession of wrong and a desire to reconcile. There must be love to desire reconciliation and there must be denial of self.
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