If you say you have forgiven someone but cannot have a relationship, then you have not forgiven; it's just words, only words.
There is a new distortion going around, which is that we can forgive someone in our hearts but cannot have a relationship with them. This is not true.
God's purpose for repentance and forgiveness is to reconcile two people.
When we ask God to forgive us He does and the relationship is reconciled. God does not do something different with us that He does not expect us to do with others.
We are not required to forgive those who are not sorry; this does not mean we are bitter; it means the relationship remains broken.
We pray for people, but not all people we have relationships with; some we must avoid because we are walking a very different path with goals to please God, but the other person is not walking that path and will attempt to derail our closeness to God.
God never intended forgiveness to be used as a means of feeling better about ourselves; that would be a selfish goal. Our love for God and others compels us to work toward the harder and more lasting solution.
When we love Christ, we desire the highest good, that is, that a relationship be mended. When it is not possible to mend a relationship because one element of the formula is missing, then we pray for them and move on with our lives.
When someone will not forgive when they are asked, then we leave their choice with them. When someone will not repent when asked, then we move on with our relationship. In either case, until both happen, that is, confession of sin and forgiveness extended, the relationship remains broken.
Please stop saying that you forgive but cannot reconcile; it is unBiblical and flies in the face of God's purpose for both to be applied, two sides of the same coin.
Luke 17:3-4 "…3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Psychology has twisted scriptures into pretzels, causing the opposite result and truth than God originally intended.
This is what reconciliation based on repentance and forgiveness looks like according to the Scriptures. Read it carefully.
Luke 15:18-20 "I will get up and go back to my father and say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’ So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still in the distance, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him."
Repentance is expressed, forgiveness is extended, and the ultimate result is reconciliation.
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