Can Not Walk Narcissisticaly and With Christ At the Same Time

The traits of a narcissists are as follows, there are more and the tactics are many, however, the results are always the same, the destruction of relationships. Even the narcissist can be delivered if he/she ever seeks God for deliverance.

Superiority, expecting to be honored and worshiped while refusing to honor anyone else.

Sense of special entitlement, lacking concern for others

Arrogance

 Envy while believing others are envious of them

Lack of empathy, unable to feel bad or good for others

Grandiosity

Exploitative and controlling attitude

Fantasies about power and status

Grandiose and overblown idealized view of oneself

If you find yourself indulging in these sins, it is time to admit it, repent, decide you want deliverance and begin asking the Holy Spirit to cleanse you.

One cannot walk with Christ and live in the state of narcissism at the same time.

2 Timothy 3:1-5

She Appeals to Her Mother

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! We need to all think like this, how many times have we fought and argued over almost nothing, when all we had to do was give up our temporary rights to please another human being.

How every child feels but are not able to express as eloquently!
If everyone would stop trying to be superior to everyone else, we could get along.  It is only mean spirited superiority that causes all the problems. Judging others based on our own desire to be special and superior, destroys relationships.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DS92Whbb5w4

Our Strength Comes From the Lord

People tend to operate in crowd mentality. There may be some in the family group are not really seeing what has been gossiped about us, but they are too weak to stand alone and tell the truth so they capitulate to the crowd.

The "tribal" mentality is very strong and tends to attempt to force anyone who "walks to their own drummer" to come in line with the crowd. Anyone who thinks for themselves is a threat to the "family unit."

Just look at fads and trends, they grow exponentially because, rather than evaluating what is done, the masses simply jump on the band wagon to be accepted by the group or culture.

The "free thinker" threatens the norm of the group. Being different makes insecure people feel small or wrong, so they attack the one that lives what they believe contrary to the group. We see this in church gatherings too, those with perfectly valid complaints or questions about doctrine are summarily dismissed or ignored entirely to maintain the status quo, a greater goal than learning and growing.

We have seen this in cultures where someone tries to leave the culture, striking out on their own to better their life, while the group demeans, attacks emotionally and even physically to bring the free thinker back in line with the thinking and failure of the group.

This reminds me of a young woman I knew who lived with family members who were all on welfare, having babies out of wedlock and living continually lazy immoral lives. This young woman came to me in tears one day because she expressed to her family that she wanted to go to college, wait until she was married to have a baby and find a loving kind man to marry. Her family bludgeoned her with shame and guilt for "thinking so highly of herself", they made it clear that she had ideas "above her station", my words not theirs.

I have seen this a number of times in my life, each time is grieves me and then it makes me angry. In the case of this young woman, she gave up, as they set her up with boyfriends, she ended up pregnant at sixteen and on welfare. She was too weak to stand against them, it was understandable because she was not a believer and did not have the strength of the Holy Spirit to help her. I tried to encourage her, that she could accomplish those things, along with the gospel message, she was open and happy when she left my house each time, but then she stopped coming, then is when she had succumbed to the pressure of her ungodly family.

When we have Christ, seeking Him for everything, reading His word often, we gain the strength that all by ourselves we would never have, but in Christ we are vigorous and hearty, able to face all criticism with resolve to do what we know is right.

Proverbs 3:5-8

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your [a]body
And refreshment to your bones.

We can trust the Lord to make us strong when we seek Him for everything, even willing to be continually rejected for our choices. The more we are rejected, the more we have to stand, the greater our strength.

Romans 5:1-5

The results of being justifed in Christ!

"1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;
5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Parents Must Work Together

Narcissism in families results when one party is determined to be special above everyone else.  There can also be more than one narcissist in a family, often entire families learn to operate in this selfish way because of the influence of the narcissist.

This is often true when there is a narcissistic father and a scapegoat mother. The children learn to despise the mother  for making boundaries and rules to protect the children from bad choices while attempting to train them to be loving, kind and selfless. 

The narc father comes against the mother at every tern, while playing the friendly fun one in the family.  Even though the father never takes the time to teach the children in important matters, he is the favored one because he is fun and gives the children everything they want without challenge or instruction. 

A very sad result of this scenario is that the children become narcissistic too, continuing the pattern of narcissistic contempt for the mother. We see this a lot in our culture, sometimes it is the mother who is the narcissist and the father the scapegoat, but the result is the same in any case.

We are seeing much more of this with the onset of the self esteem teaching.  Parents, whether father or mother, can destroy the training of the non-narc parent in very subtle ways.  When a parent comes against another parent rather than upholding their authority, we most likely end up with children who have no regard for authority or instruction from anyone.  The children learn to disregard whoever instructs them in whatever they don't want to learn.  Pride overrides all good sense, while feelings and desire take first place.

Proverbs 1:8 "Hear, my son, your father's instruction And do not forsake your mother's teaching;"

Children will take the easiest and lowest road when faced with a choice whether to obey or not.  It is vitally important that both parents make the decision to uphold one another's mandates and instructions.  If there is one parent that comes against the other in the smallest way, then the scapegoat parent will have little influence and even less love from the children.

If you want to teach love to your children, you must first model it by diligently upholding the standards of your spouse.  This is love for the children, to show them the other person matters by standing by them.  Loving our spouse should be more important than having the worship of our children.

Same Sex Marriage/Divorce and Remarriage

The more I ponder the uproar on the part of Christians about same sex marriage, the more I sense a spirit of hypocrisy. It is obvious to believers and even thinking non-believers that marrying two people of the same sex is unnatural. We were created to produce children from a marriage union, which is impossible without unnatural human intervention.

Romans 1:20-28
20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.
21 For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
22 Professing to be wise, they became fools,
23 and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.
24 Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them.
25 For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
26 For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural,
27 and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.
28 And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, "

God told us not to judge another human being for doing something that we are doing too. I mention this in reference to immorality in general. If someone is committing immoral intimate relations, then we should express God's judgment about that, unless we are disqualified because we are engaging in immoral intimate relations ourselves, then we really have no voice for that sin.

Matthew 7:3-5
"3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?
5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye."

The battle in our country has been for years to stave off immorality by speaking against it, whether it be same sex marriage or shack up lovers, but one very prominent sin that few will touch in terms of exposure to truth, is the sin of divorce and remarriage.

I don't believe God is going to answer our prayers about the dissolution of same sex marriage while we refuse to confess and repent from the sin of divorce and remarriage.

How many times have we seen in the past few months, Christians who stand against same sex marriage lose their businesses because of their proclamation that it is this union is immoral, patently against God's standard? A florist, a baker and others have been taken to the woodshed for their very public stand against this abomination. And I would agree with them, however, was their stand hypocrisy?

Now let me ask, how many of us have ever seen a stand against divorce and remarriage, public or otherwise? My guess is that the florist and baker regularly served those who were remarrying after a divorce, said nothing, even gleefully produced the products that would support and enhance the weddings of these people. Just a guess, but I think a valid guess since most churches will not preach against divorce and remarriage anymore.

The sin of immoral intimate relations started many years ago when in 1947 no fault divorce was passed into law, allowing anyone to get a divorce for any reason, even for no reason at all, termed, "irreconcilable" differences.

Where did we think all this endorsement of immoral intimate relations would lead? Did we think it would remain with only the favored sin of divorce and remarriage?

God clearly said in His Word, in Luke 16:18, ""Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery."
Did we think God was kidding?

The most misused and misunderstood passage in the Bible is the one that allows for divorce for sexual immorality in Matthew 19:9 ""And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

The book of Matthew was written to the Jews who had the custom of requiring a divorce from the betrothal or what we call engagement. The words "except for immorality", in the Greek means "fornication" before marriage during the engagement period. In the Jewish custom when someone was betrothed, it was nearly as binding as marriage except if one party had been unfaithful during the engagement.

We don't see this same phrase "except for immorality" in any of the other gospels because they were written to Gentiles who had no such custom of divorcing from an engagement.

The words husband and wife were even used during the engagement period in the Jewish culture.
When God said, "the two shall be come one flesh", He was saying HE was making them one flesh, they were not making themselves one flesh by marrying, God was doing that work in them.

Genesis 2:22-24 "The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."

Notice God said "the TWO shall become ONE flesh. Not three or four or six, but TWO. And then He said:
Mark 10:8
"and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh."

When God makes two people one, no man can break that any more than a woman can become a man or a man can become a woman, that was God's doing. No man can change himself into a woman no matter what form of mutilation he does to himself, and no woman can become a man no matter what she does to herself.

Two people of the same gender cannot produce offspring, a person who is one gender cannot change into another gender and no marriage where two people are made into one person by God can go back and be two people again. The only thing that separates the marriage couple made one by God, is death.

Please do not come to argue all the little problems or even big ones that come up in marriage as excuses to divorce and remarry. I have heard them all and they are all invalid. When we read the Bible, it is clear that God condemned divorce and remarriage after a divorce.

God gave us one instruction that should be obeyed if someone has been abandoned and divorced by a spouse.

1 Corinthians 7:11 "(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife."

There are rare cases when there is physical abuse that may be reason to go somewhere safe, but that does not mean divorce is allowed.

Colossians 3:19 "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. "

1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. "

1 Peter 3
1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear."

Physical violence against another person is not only sin but against the law of the land. When a husband or wife is abusing their spouse they should be turned over to the authorities to be dealt with, the church first and if the church will not do anything then the civil authorities.

I wonder how many divorces would be avoided if one party in the troubled marriage gave up their own rights, lived as God commanded in the verses above and sought God in prayer for their spouse, but even more than that sought God in prayer over their own responses to what is going on!

Too many people will not seek God in prayer for their spouses, but will rush to the courts to escape.
Remember God has a purpose in all things, even in our marriage encounters, difficulty shows us our inner self, whatever comes out in our responses is who we really on the inside. Scary Huh!!!!

We all need work, those who think they don't need work, are the neediest of all.

God is in Control Not Us

We are going to see many people operating entirely on emotion, the opposite of what God said to do. In these last days when personal pleasure takes first place in most lives, we will encounter many people who base most of what they do and think on how they feel, rather than what is right.

1 Corinthians 2:16 "For “who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ."

Philippians 2:2 "fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind."

Discussion is for the purpose of discerning truth, discovering what others think to fill the place in our minds that needed honing.

The devil uses emotion more than anything else to devastate people. I believe that's why we have so many on depression meds today, they are not born again and are at the mercy of the devil who is messing with their emotions.

Our culture has been programmed for the past 40 years that emotions are the most important part of our being when in fact they are the shallowest part of us.

Often in my life I have had to ignore how I felt to do what was right, only to find out that my emotions were inaccurate and that I didn't have enough information to guide my thinking, emotions lack reasoning ability. A good example of this might be pseudobulbar affect, a condition that causes us to cry or laugh for no reason at all.

When we see what emotion can cause as apposed to what right and rational thinking can do, it is easy to discern the damage emotion can do.

We have emotions, sometimes they are based on truth, but often they are based on our own skewed perception and the gossip of others rather than proven facts.

As we grow older our life will demonstrate whether we operated from an emotional plane or a rational one.

It is interesting that as we get older we let down our guard and what is really inside, that we have been hiding for many years, begins to emerge because we no longer have the strength to hide our real selves.

Emotions are not right or wrong, they are stimuli from our flesh triggered by our own desires. Often they are inaccurate, fleshly and detrimental to most situations. All fights and arguments begin because of unrestrained emotional responses.

It is natural for human beings to be so full of themselves that they see any disagreement as a personal attack rather than a person's right to their own opinion that doesn't have to agree with theirs, for them to be of value.

Very insecure and narcissistic people cannot handle any form of disagreement, every criticism is seen as disapproval, shame and blame of their very person. When we are not so self focused, we don't have to see disagreements as anything but two people with differing views.

When we are secure in Christ we don't feel a need to "force" others through intimidation and manipulation to think as we do. We can enjoy discussion where others have opposing viewpoints, while still loving the person.

If our views are polar opposites from others, it is impossible to maintain an ongoing relationship, however when in their company we can express ourselves and be courteous. 

Amos 3:3 "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" The answer is no, we must be going the same direction to be constant companions.

It is my opinion that the reason so many churches have become apostate is because they have compromised with those who disagree with God, placating the unsaved, causing many believers to become just like those they sought to win.

1 Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."

It is interesting to me that when believers are in the company of non-believers more than they are in the company of believers, the believers move more in the direction of the non-believers, but the non-believers don't move at all.

This has happened in our churches, even if the pastor preaches good messages, the congregation as a whole will listen and agree but proceed to follow the ways of the non-believers to appear friendly and because what non-believers do and say, appeals to the flesh.

Our problem in this modern Christian culture is not that we don't have the truth, we have that if we have Bibles in our homes, it is that we do not boldly proclaim what we believe while trusting Christ that He can use it in His way and timing.

 It takes faith to live the Christian life, faith to believe that even if we don't see anyone believing us, it is God's responsibility to work in hearts. We are merely the messenger, nothing more. Our job is to put the truth out there and let God do His work His way with it.

1 Corinthians 3:7 "So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth."

Philippians 2:13 "for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."

Psalm 58:19 "Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, The God who is our salvation. Selah."

Jeremiah 26:5 "to listen to the words of My servants the prophets, whom I have been sending to you again and again, but you have not listened;"
Philippians 1:6 "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

John 5:17 "But He answered them, "My Father is working until now, and I Myself am working."

It's really very simple, ask the Holy Spirit, do what He says and leave all the rest to Him.

Trusting in the Pope will lead to Hell

We have been trained as a culture to base all that we do on "how it makes us feel." Because of that most people will be fooled by this mess of deception in the pope.

Everyone with the exception of a few, will want to jump on this band wagon. True believers know where it is going, but the masses will not know where they are going, at least they will get to "feel" good about going nowhere!