True Sorrow Leads to Change

There is a difference between tears of pain because of what someone is going through as a result of their sin and tears of sorrow for what we have put someone else through. Tears do not always mean true repentance that brings a change in behavior.

2 Corinthians 7:10 "For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death."

Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;"

Luke 6:25 "25 “Woe to you who are well-fed now, for you shall be hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep."

James 4:9 "Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom."

Someone who cares more about the pain of others, will be deeply sorrowful for what they have done to others.

Philippians 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Promises not to repeat the same sin against others, are of no consequence unless it is backed up with a change in attitude and behavior. It is better to not make promises to change, rather confess what the sin is and seek God to change our hearts.

2 Chronicles 7:14 - "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

1 John 1:9 - "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Acts 3:19 - "Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;"

When we say "I am so sorry" to a friend or family member, it can mean two things. It can mean that we are sorry we got caught or it can mean we are sorry for the consequences of our actions.

Saying we are sorry can also mean that we feel very badly that someone else was harmed by our actions. This last sorrow is the one that will rebuild a broken relationship.

The first display of sorrow over consequences while lacking sorrow over the pain we have caused others, only deepens the brokenness in the relationship.

Ezekiel 18:21-23 "21 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
22 All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord GOD: [and] not that he should return from his ways, and live?"

God wrote many things in His word about how to be a good friend, how to be a good husband or wife and how to raise children in relationships. Often our human relationships are a microcosm of our relationship with God.

How we view others often demonstrates how we view God. When we have little or no honor or respect for others, we will have little or no honor for God. We can do all the religious rituals in the world to impress those around us, but God is not impressed with our religious demonstrations, when our life has not demonstrated obedience to Him and love for others.

It is clear from God's Word that if we have love in our hearts, we will love others. Christ loved others to the point of going to the cross to pay for their sin. God gives everyone an opportunity to become born again, allowing God to change who they are into a new creation, then and only then, can we love others, if we have the love of God in us.

1 John 3:14 "We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death."

There is no love in competitiveness to appear superior to others. There is no love in a desire to control others. Those who possess the love of God care deeply about the welfare of others much more than their own. Their thoughts are continually bent toward blessing others with kindness and dignity. There is no dignity or kindness in a controlling spirit, one that attempts to shape others into their desired image of us.

When we love people we can enjoy their personalities, their quirks and differences. Of course this is not accepting sin, but realizing that we all struggle with sin, we are to show tenderness and mercy to our brothers and sisters, not to overlook sin, but to speak truth, while working to restore our brother or sister to fellowship though honesty and openness. Any display of superiority is sin and further damages relationships.

There can be no closeness when there is manipulation and deceitful pretense.

It is through honesty, integrity and love that we grow a quality relationship. There is no place for superiority among believers, all have fallen short of the glory of God and all have a journey of training in this life.

Psalm 41:11-13 - "By this I know that you delight in me: my enemy will not shout in triumph over me. But you have upheld me because of my integrity, and set me in your presence forever. Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting! Amen and Amen."

Psalm 101:1-2 - I will sing of steadfast love and justice; to you, O LORD, I will make music. I will ponder the way that is blameless. Oh when will you come to me? Will walk with integrity of heart within my house;"

Proverbs 28:18 - Whoever walks in integrity will be delivered, but he who is crooked in his ways will suddenly fall."

Why do I write so much about relationships and narcissism? The answer is because we are encountering more of the sin of pride as we are moving into the last days of apostasy. Some of our most difficult relationships are in the church, the place we would expect to find the most love, we are encountering much arrogance and self exaltation.

The apostate church fosters an attitude of pride through the entitlement mentality called "health, wealth and prosperity" doctrine. This evil system is teaching people to focus on themselves while clamoring after worldly endeavors and prominence. When health, wealth and prosperity is the goal, there leaves little room for spiritual growth or proper godly relationships. How will we have the time to quietly reflect on our inner being when we are running after everything in the world we can possibly get our hands on?

May each one of us reflect on our own lives, comparing them with how Christ walked and what He valued. I think we will find that Christ was about relationships and self sacrifice for the sake of the brethren.

I Never Gave Up Anything That I Wanted

I never had to give up anything when I became a Christian, when I became born again the sinful lifestyle fell off because I no longer wanted it. Christ made me a brand new person, I no longer thought the same as I used to and I hate the things I used to enjoy. If someone is working real hard to stay away from sin, then I suggest they may not have been born again. The desire to sin repulses us, we may battle with old habits, but we don't like them, eventually we get to the place that we can't stand to be there anymore and we run from all that sin.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Ezekiel 11:19-20 "And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God."

Ephesians 2:10 "For we are HIS workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

2 Peter 1:4 "By which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire."

1 Peter 3:18-22 "For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit, in which he went and proclaimed to the spirits in prison, because they formerly did not obey, when God's patience waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through water. Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him."

You see....it's all about Christ. He paid the price, we confess our sinfulness and trust what He did on our behalf and He does all the rest of the work in us. He takes us through life experiences that prune us as a gardener prunes a rose bush, cutting out the limbs that do not produce so that new vibrant and beautiful limbs can grow. A plant cannot stay healthy without pruning, just as a believer will not grow healthy and strong without difficult life experiences.

It is when we have difficulties that we can see the real us. Our responses to those difficulties reveal to us our inner heart attitude, either choosing self will or God's will. Those who are close to the Lord are the ones who turn to him in difficulty. Those who do not turn to God will not grow healthy. 

 

When there is an angry response to a rebuke or correction, that is our clue that rebellion still remains that God must deal with. Do not think for a minute that a stubborn heart is going to get away with anything. If we belong to God, there will be discipline for anyone who will not seek God. His purpose in this discipline is to bring us back to obedience and righteousness.

Titus 3:5 "He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,"

Hebrews 12:6-8

6 For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, And He scourges every son whom He receives.”

7 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons." 

The Hearts of the People Refuse to Turn

What happens when a nation turns it's back on God!!!! We are there folks, things continue the downward slide, no politician and no legislation will make a difference, as long as the hearts of the people are hell bent on living any way they please without restraint. I am now convinced that even a national disaster will not wake up the people. It is coming, there will be terrible consequences for our sin as a nation, but it will not turn the hearts of the people to God. We have miserable consequences right now, murdering babies, devastated and broken families and much more, yet these miseries do not change the attitudes or actions of the people.

Isaiah 3:8-12
“Jerusalem staggers, Judah is falling; their words and deeds are against the Lord, defying his glorious presence. The look on their faces testifies against them; they parade their sin like Sodom; they do not hide it. Woe to them! They have brought disaster upon themselves.

Tell the righteous it will be well with them, for they will enjoy the fruit of their deeds. Woe to the wicked! Disaster is upon them! They will be paid back for what their hands have done.

Youths oppress my people, women rule over them. My people, your guides lead you astray; they turn you from the path.”

Pragmatism is Sinful

Pragmatism destroys accountability and obedience, it is sinful. When our decisions are based on what we think works, rather than God's principles, we are walking in disobedience, using pragmatism as an excuse to defy God.

http://biblicaltruth.info/Articles/Pragmatism.htm

Doing it God's Way

I think it is time that I address something I see happening a lot these days, that is damaging to the Christian walk.

There are those who use experiences as their measure of truth, even though their experience is not Biblical, they say if it brought them to Christ, it is alright to be unBiblical because it works. This is pragmatism and patently unbiblical.

Pragmatism: an approach that assesses the truth of meaning of theories or beliefs in terms of the success of their practical application."

Just because something seemed to work does not mean it is alright to do it. We ought to seek out God's way of doing things, it matters the way we reach our conclusions.

Pragmatism is rampant now, the idea that we can do anything anyway we want if there are good results is ludicrous. We must do things God's way guided by the Holy Spirit and it will always line up with Scripture. Just because something appeared to work does not mean its alright to do it, nor is it evidence that it really did work, there are many hidden attitudes that come with disobedience against God.

Pragmatism always leads to doctrinal error, which leads to sin.
Luke 6:46 ""Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?"
God is not pleased when we use human methods to carry out His will, He wants us to do His will His Way!!!!!

Doesn't seem real hard does it? Unless we are stubborn and willful, like a spoiled child who wants to have his own way because it is popular.

Pragmatism: "testing the validity of all concepts by their practical results."
This practice of pragmatism has no place in the Christian life. We are not to base what we do on what we think will work. Our culture is steeped in psychology based on secular humanism. The devil can make anything look right, when it is all wrong.

We are to simply obey God when He tells us to preach or teach, He will speak through us. We are not to evaluate whether or not something works before we preach or teach.

Matthew 10:19 ""But when they hand you over, do not worry about how or what you are to say; for it will be given you in that hour what you are to say."
When we are born again the Holy Spirit comes to live in us, He is our voice, our hands and our feet. We are to let Him do the speaking through us, not figuring out in our human minds what we should do but rather trusting Him, that He will do the speaking using our mouth. We are to walk when He prompts us to walk and do with our hands what He has prompted us to do.

Too many people do not understand what it is like to know when God has spoken through them, they may have trusted Him for salvation but they have not trusted Him for daily life. That's why we have so few Christians who are bold in their Christianity. In fact many are embarrassed at the mention of Christ or His principles in the company of others outside the church building.

May many who call themselves by Christ's name learn what it is to hear the voice of God and sense the joy that comes from it.

Pragmatism is one of the devices used by many people to bring in extra-Biblical revelation, through private manifestations. Those in these movements believe they are hearing from God but some are hearing from the demons and others are lying about hearing anything. After all satan is the father of lies, the whole movement of the charismatics is based on lies.

God says: 1 Corinthians 2:14 "But 1 natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually 2 appraised."

Matthew 7:13 "13 “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it."
What happens when we think it is alright to use any method because it appears to work, is nothing less than denying God's principles. When we ignore His principles to follow after man's way, we are saying that man's way is better than God's way.

Let Go of the Gifts!

One of the tactics of a narcissist is to pretend to be a helper and giver, while all the time doing their good deeds to manipulate others. Their goal is not to bless someone, but to control them.

Anyone can say anything, words have little value, even negative value when they are expressed without any actions as proof of what is being said.

"Actions speak louder than words" because much of the hurt that people feel has more to do with an attitude displayed toward others than what they actually say.

James 2:14-16 "14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?
15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,
16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?"

It is important that we pray for the Lord to put His love in our hearts, so that when we do speak the words will be fleshed out in how we act. If our good deeds are not guided by the Holy Spirit, they become nothing more than sources of pride.

When we do things to honor God, we never have to remember what we did, there are no strings attached, no records kept, no expectations except the hope of blessing someone else.

We do not give to get from God, but we will receive the joy of having honored Him, even if there is no other earthly treasure that comes.

Luke 6:38 "Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

Acts 20:35 "In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

Matthew 6:1-34 "“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. ..."

I once heard a preachers say, "if you always tell the truth, you never have to remember what you said."

It is also true of giving, if we expect nothing in return, we never have to remember what we gave.

There is nothing more burdensome than receiving a gift that has strings or expectations attached, it is better not to receive it, than to be placed in bondage about what we do with it.

I was once given a chair by an elderly lady. When she gave me the chair, she made it clear that I was not to paint it, recover it or do anything to it because she liked it just like it was. She knew that I am someone who is always fixing up things. That chair was a burden from the first day I got it, I worried about forgetting the command not to do anything to the chair. I don't have a great memory sometimes I forget things especially if I have had them a long time.

One day this lady came over, during her visit she reminded me that I should never do anything to that chair. It was then I realized that this was going to be a source of manipulation and control over me, so I politely told her that my memory was bad, I didn't want to hurt her feelings by forgetting and doing something to the chair, that I would have to return it to her. She was surprised, but not angry, she took the chair back and the burden of it walked out the door with her as she left with it.

A gift with attachments or expectations is not a gift at all. I tried to teach my children that if they give a gift, they should never care what happens to it after that, if there is an expectation as to what is done with it, then it was never a gift but rather a loan that would continually be monitored and burdensome.

I am thankful for all the lessons in the Word that lift our burdens while cleansing our attitudes. The less we hang on to emotionally in this world, the freer our spirits. Nothing in this world should hold us in bondage.

1 John 2:15 "Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."

Leave the Past in the Past

Anyone who hates us because of past sins, are usually arrogant and have sins of their own that still remain.

Why wouldn't anyone get excited about the change in someone? Because they enjoy disliking you, they may even be jealous that you are making wonderful changes, they prefer to have disparaging thought about you.

It is obvious that those who want to believe things about us that are clearly in the past, are people who enjoyed our failures when they were happening, and desire to see us that way still, when none of it exists any more.

I have known people who had monstrous sins in their life before they became believers in Christ. When they trusted Christ and were completely changed, I was excited and blessed that it happened, even desiring to become friends with them because of the new connection we now had in Christ.

When we meet someone who wants to hold past sins against others, it is a sure sign we are dealing with a wicked person who loves the pain and failures of others in order to bolster their own self importance. It is only arrogance that motivates someone to enjoy demeaning one who has moved on to better things. It is also this same arrogance that leads these self proclaimed judges to feel superior to those they wish to punish indefinitely.

When we see this happening, judging others on the basis of past failures that do not exist anymore, we can be sure those people will never be an asset to our spiritual growth, nor will they be a positive part of our lives.

Sadly there are more of these people in the world than there are godly ones who rejoice at victory over sin. The best course of action is to remove ourselves to continue to move forward in the Lord.

There was a saying on the news feed once that I thought fit this discussion, it goes like this;

"One night I prayed to God, I asked could he please remove my enemies from my life, and before you knew it I started losing friends." Meek Mill

Our desire ought to be to surround ourselves with those who love the Lord, those who are not concerned about the past but love seeing the Lord work in their friends lives.

It is far better to be alone with the Lord than to be surrounded by people who love to judge us according to the past or based on their prejudices against us rather than real evidence. Those who would rather believe evil about us than have a conversation with us to find the truth, are attempting to keep us in a "one down" position for their own personal elevated status. These are not our friends, they are not an asset to our Christian walk, nor will they ever desire the best in the Lord for us.

Wicked men love to covertly hide their sin, cloaking it in pretense of concern, when really their desire is to ruin their target. Those who hide, keeping secrets, do it because they are up to no good, they have no good in mind for those they hate. Hiding, refusing to discuss something openly is a sure sign the hider has an attitude he doesn't want anyone else to see.

Proverbs 6:12-16 "A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:"

Ecclesiastes 12:14 "For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil."

Psalm 5:4 "For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you."

Psalm 34:21 "Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned."

Micah 2:1 "Woe to those who devise wickedness and work evil on their beds! When the morning dawns, they perform it, because it is in the power of their hand."

The state of man without God is always bent toward selfishness and evil.

Romans 3:10-18
10 as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;
11 no one understands; no one seeks for God.
12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good, not even one.”
13 “Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive.”
“The venom of asps is under their lips.”
14 “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”
15 “Their feet are swift to shed blood;
16 in their paths are ruin and misery,
17 and the way of peace they have not known.”
18 “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

Because we are living in the end times, we are going to see the unsaved come against believers more intensely than we have ever seen in our past. They will not want to admit that God has worked in our live, it convicts them of their own sin.

Remember:
Proverbs 28:1 "28 The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion."