God's forgiveness is dependent on repentance. No one will be forgiven who is not sorry and broken over their sin.
Psalm 51:17
"17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
A broken and a contrite (meaning crushed) heart, God, You will not despise."
1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. " Do not overlook the words; "if we confess" our sins.
We are to forgive the way God forgives.
Ephesians 4:32 "“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”"
Luke 17:3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and IF HE REPENTS, forgive him, 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I REPENT,' YOU MUST FORGIVE HIM.”
Let's not confuse forgiveness with not becoming bitter. We do not become bitter because we have not forgiven someone who is not sorry. We do good to those who persecute us, we treat others with the kindness they did not show us but this is not forgiveness and it does not reconcile a broken relationship.
Relationships are restored through sorrow for wrongdoing. When someone is not sorry and even repeats the same sin without sorrow over and over again we do not believe they care about the relationship and we must move on without them.
Continual forgiveness does not change the offenders wicked heart it only solidifies it.
The more we ignore sin the more it grows.
Unconfessed sin breaks our fellowship with God and it breaks the fellowship with those we have sinned against or when they have sinned against us.
The teaching of psychology based on Darwinism is the teaching that comes from the secular community attempting to figure out how to stop people from having bad feelings, it is useless in restoring relationships while leaving a sense that something good happened just by saying the words; "I forgive" but nothing changed, the relationship was not restored and the feelings of frustration return continually because the "forgiving" produced nothing but temporary feelings, very fleeting feelings, without substance and a real solution .
Sin takes root and grows within the soul of the one who will not confess. If we love someone and want the relationship to continue we must speak of their sin and ask them to be sorry for it. If they rage back at us or make excuses then we know they have no regard for God or our relationship with them.
God does not hear the prayers of those who are not sorry and broken over their sin. He ignores the prayers of those who reject Him and He ignores the prayers of those who belong to Him when they will not confess to be cleansed. 1 John 1:9 is written to believers.
If we are to grow in holiness we must be confessing our sinful attitudes and actions. If we are to grow into deeper relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ we must confess and forgive when they confess.
Unconfessed sin like weeds in a garden, as long as the weeds are not pulled up they take over the whole garden with a deep root system that makes them very difficult to pull up.
This is the reason I believe very few elderly people who are not born again never trust in Christ. The weeds in their heart have overtaken them, it would take something catastrophic to remove them and often when an event like this happens they further harden their hearts.
Anyone who holds past forgiven sins against a brother or sister in Christ is acting sinfully for desiring to be superior to them. It isn't possible for someone who has been forgiven to hold past forgiven sins against others unless they are walking in arrogance without love.
An attitude of superiority over others is sin, plain and simple. If we have love within us we are not gleeful that someone sins we are grieved for them and wish to help them learn their need to repent so that they can be restored. When they are restored because they have repented then we are joyful for them and can have sweet fellowship with them.
No one who has repented before God to become born again will ever enjoy someone else's fall. They will not rejoice in the fall of others. We know some love to see others fall, especially those they are jealous of, because they love to gossip about them making sure as many other people as possible know of the sin of the one they hate.
Sometimes the psudo-christian will disguise their hatred through pretend concern for someone when really they are champing at the bit to ensure their target has no defenders or a support system.
The narcissist desires to remove all possible support from someone who has repented and wants to change their lives. They hate that someone has been changed by Christ and is on the narrow road of salvation, without guilt and shame anymore.
Guilt and shame are the biggest tools on Satan's
belt and he uses people who are vulnerable to his influence to carry out these tactics to destroy the believers. The believers are not destroyed because of the trust in Christ they possess, but the devil is foolish enough to believe he can ruin their witness and resolve to follow Christ.
What is the response of the born-again believer to this world of hate and deception? It is quite simple really, we are to obey Christ even if no one else around us is doing it and we are to thank Him for the wonderful lessons we have learned in all our circumstances and through all the devil's attacks.
Ephesians 6:10-20
"Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one."
Just a side note. Please do not be intimidated by the world that pressures you to forgive an unrepentant sinner. They will accuse you of all kinds of hate when what you have is the love of Christ to obey Him. Knowing that God's way produces greater results even if only in us. We are not responsible for the response of others we are only responsible for obeying God. He knows the best about what is needed.
