Misunderstanding the Nature of Love

The problem with our culture is that we associate happy feelings with goodness. However, love is not based on whether or not someone feels good about what we say. Love is telling the truth for the well being of the other person. It is not helpful to make people feel good about their bad behavior.

Bad behavior should bring shame, so that the desire to change one's actions and attitudes will be what motivates change.

Love is the full range of speech and actions that help a person to desire a change in their heart.

We are called to "rebuke", "admonish" and "correct", one another daily. We should be speaking truth to one another every day as necessary.

The lie that we should not "lecture" people does not come from the Bible, is it humanistic psychology that promoted this idea of "feelings first" and thinking and pondering last if at all.

Many people have been taught to "go with their feelings", pretending that feelings are more important, when just the opposite is actually true. Feelings misguide us, it is reason and good sense based on Scriptural principles that should guide us in spite of our feelings.

Romans 15:14
"And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another."

Colossians 3:16
"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God."

Psalm 141:5
"Let the righteous smite me in kindness and reprove me; It is oil upon the head; Do not let my head refuse it, For still my prayer is against their wicked deeds."

Luke 17:3
"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him."

1 Thessalonians 5:14
"We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone."

2 Timothy 3:16
"All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;"