One of the tactics of the narcissist is to intimidate family members into silence so that others will never know the evil that they have done. I do not suggest that we bring up the past sins of someone who has repented, confessed and turned from sin, but it is a good thing to expose the sins that remain, the sins that the narcissist refuse to admit, as a warning to them and others that wicked behavior will not be tolerated.
If someone does not want to be found out about their sin, then they should choose not to commit it in the first place.
Sin runs more rampant than it ever has in our culture because the culture as a whole is afraid to tell others they shouldn't do something.
The misguided "kindness", to tolerate the sin in someone, has only served to cause sin to grow, fester and rot the culture as a whole.
When a person become repentant, they do not hide their sin, the speak it about themselves, knowing that there is cleansing and a greater chance it will not be repeated if one had to openly confess. So many people do not ask forgiveness, they expect it without having to be repentant, that's why they never confess, they don't admit to anything and they do not change their behavior or their heart.
God called for transparency and openness about our sins that we might fear repeating them.
James 5:16 "16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail."
Yes, it is embarrassing, it hurts and others may lie against us embellishing what we have done, none of that matters. All that matters is that we do what God told us to do, His way brings healing no matter what evil people will do to us.
When we discover that someone is evil enough to hold a confessed sin against us, after we have turned from that sin, then there is no need to keep that person in our lives, nor do we have to retain as friends those who listened to that disloyal friend.
Those who love God and love us will be thrilled that we confessed and forsook. They will then take on the stance of protecting us from gossips, because they knew we wanted to grow in holiness.
The Lord instructs us to put out of our lives those who work to thwart His work in us through false judgments and evil gossip.
One of the ways these people attack us is to presume things about us that were never true, even though they have never seen for themselves something we have done, they heard a sentence, or saw an action and came to a conclusion because of their contempt for us. These same people never come to ask our side of the story, they choose to believe a falsehood because of their contempt for us.
There is such peace when we no longer concern ourselves with how others view us, we can continue to live for Christ and leave those wicked ones to God, He knows what is to be done with them.
Proverbs 4:13-15 "…13 Take hold of instruction; do not let go. Guard her, for she is your life. 14 Do not enter the path of the wicked And do not proceed in the way of evil men. 15 Avoid it, do not pass by it; Turn away from it and pass on.…"
Psalm 37:1-2 "1 A Psalm of David. Do not fret because of evildoers, Be not envious toward wrongdoers. 2 For they will wither quickly like the grass And fade like the green herb.…"
Do not allow "well meaning but ignorant" Christians guilt you into remaining friends with evil people, just so you can influence them. God does not need us to stay in the path of the wicked to win them, He can use their loss of friends to influence them while protecting us in the process.
It is worldly psychology that teaches us to ignore sin, so that it can grow, they erroneously believe that people respond positively to kindness, in our end times predicament it is not true, actually it has never been true. Men do not change their heart because others treat them nice, evil men get worse.
It is not man who influences one another for good, it is the preaching of the gospel that can be used by the Holy Spirit to prick a sinful heart. We are called to tell the truth to those who are lost, give consequences as needed and remain strong in Christ's principles. To use psychology hoping man will change hearts is humanism, not godly. It is God who changes hearts, not man.
Isaiah 26:10-11 " 10 Though the wicked is shown favor, He does not learn righteousness; He deals unjustly in the land of uprightness, And does not perceive the majesty of the LORD. 11 O LORD, Your hand is lifted up yet they do not see it. They see Your zeal for the people and are put to shame; Indeed, fire will devour Your enemies.…"
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