"Narcissism can be contagious" (Dr. Les Carter)
When we are around the narcissist regularly we can tend to take on some of their traits to either fit in or to defend ourselves. This is the reason we must minimize our contact with a narcissist. There is a tendency to become like those people with whom we spend the most time.
1 Corinthians 15:33
“33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
Proverbs 13:20
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
Narcissists will attempt to bring you back to obeying the flesh in their attempts to cause us to sin through their provocations. They poke and prod at us until we lose control, or so is their hope. Then they will claim we were the problem.
I remember a case in which a young boy continually demeaned someone on the bus ride home after school until the young man he poked at got tired of it and got into a fight with the narcissist. This narcissist was known for using his mouth to goad others into fighting so he could claim they started the fight when it was the narcissist who deliberately mocked and demeaned to cause rage in the one he provoked.
The narcissist won the fight on the bus, or so he thought and brought the story home that he was victorious over the bully. Having known this narcissist I knew he had probably poked and prodded the other young man until he blew up so that he could win in a fight and boast of himself to his family.
Sadly the parents of the narcissist who was the bully believed him and for years later boasted that the narcissist had beaten up a bully on the bus.
I knew the truth about probability of this being the case because of the way this narcissist bullied me with his mouth all my life. It was his mode of operation often. He loved to speak mean-spirited hateful and accusing words to cause others to blow up so he could claim they were the problem. Even into his elderly years, he thought it was fun to fight-banter with people who would take his bait.
He loved to fight and argue over nothing important. He loved to judge things he knew nothing about but wished to believe his own desired story that demeaned and mocked others.
Narcissists are very petty, they love taking innocent remarks or small events and making them look bad, its the WAY they think that is the problem. They process information in negative ways against those of whom they are jealous.
The mentioned bully was an incessant liar, continually skewing events and words to make them what he wanted to believe about them. I never heard this narcissist bully ever compliment another person, if someone accomplished something good he would find a reason why it was not worthy of encouragement, even mocking it. Then in seeing the displeasure on the face of the one he demeaned, would claim it was just a joke, after which he would accuse them of being too sensitive. This is classic phraseology of the narcissist to make the one they harmed look like something was wrong with them. It is perverted thinking, the narcissist never seems to notice they were the ones who were mean and the ones who caused the hurt in the first place.
It is also likely that any compliment a narcissist extends is to impress the one they wish to manipulate. Nothing the narcissist does is sincere or authentic. They only complement those they think are accomplished, popular or influential.
When someone treats us disrespectfully in private, brandishing their own false narrative we can be sure they are doing it to others too whom they believe are beneath them and who will not be believed by the narcissists flying monkeys. This is evil personified, devilish and cruel.
Narcissists are deeply dishonest, they interpret situations and conversations the way they choose to believe them rather than what really happened. They are deceivers and liars bending everything to make them come out the winner and superior to others, in every situation.
Narcissists will pump us for information as though they want to know about us but their goal is to gather fodder for their gossip. They will never pass the information they gather from us as we told it, it is always skewed to a negative bent to ruin our reputation with others.
Beware of giving information to anyone who treats you disrespectfully regularly and then comes along with the "sweet cycle" to lure you in again to gain more information. These are liars and decievers with one agenda and that is to harm you any way they can.
The devil is the one behind these narcissists who love only themselves. He controls their emotions, their desired narrative, and their gossip.
Proverbs 17:17
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
1 John 4:8
“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Proverbs 14:7
“Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.”
It is vitally important that we surround ourselves with those who love God and are filled with Christ. We can pray for the narcissist if we choose but we must never accept any pressure or accusations that we should be around them by family or community.
The family or community is often deceived by the narcissist. He only shows his wicked side to those he believes have no influence in the family or community. The family or the community never sees the real him, they only see his false persona.
If you were to tell the family or community about the narcissist's evil words and actions, they wouldn't believe it. This is why we need to remove not only the narcissist from our lives but all their flying monkeys too. Often flying monkeys pressure us to maintain contact with the narcissist and judge us for choosing to remove the narcissist from our lives.
Notice that if the narcissist cannot control his target or ruin them, he will attempt to control how others view his target. He will gossip lies, take half-truths, and spread them like wildfire to the family or community in an attempt to cause the family or community to love him and hate his target of hate.
Most people who say they are Christians today, even those who claim to know the Bible, do not know it well. They will pressure us to do and say things God never told us to do or say. They are steeped in psychology based on hedonism which opposes the ways of God.
We cannot allow the community around us whether family or work to pressure us to remain stuck in situations that diminish our joy and walk with Christ. We are not obligated to remain with anyone whose goal is to diminish our faith in Christ. In fact, God tells us to remove them.
Luke 14:25-27
Discipleship Tested
"25 Now large crowds were going along with Him, and He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. 27 Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple."
If anyone says we should remain with someone because they are extended family they do not know God's Word. If the extended family are authentic Christ-following believers that is a different matter, but I am here to tell you that this is very rare in our day.
If we love Christ we will protect ourselves from the company of liars, brutes and bullies who want to keep us unhinged and retaliating against their wicked words and actions. They do not love God or anyone else and worse than that they attempt to cause believers to be like them.
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