There are those who hate those who see clearly the flaws of others. When we love someone we love their whole self, warts and all.
Why do we not flatter or praise? We don't do that because God told us not to built up pride in someone. The need for correction is far more needed in these days.
Correction has the potential of helping someone to grow, it is far more valuable in our day than praise and flattery.
Praise and flattery has been overdone these days. When we praise and flatter it forces a person to dwell on their goodness which doesn't need fixing.
When I go to my husband to tell him about a leaky faucet I don't come in to the room praising all the good things about the faucet while ignoring the leak. I will go to him telling him about the leak that needs attention.
God warned us about the pitfalls of praise and flattery. It distracts those we love from needed repairs. The more flattery and praise someone receives the more pride arises that prevents the person from hearing the other flaws that need work.
We have lived in this culture a long time under the dilution that praise and flattery is encouragement.
Proverbs 29:5
"A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet."
Proverbs 28:23
"Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue."
1 Thessalonians 2:1-20
"For you yourselves know, brothers, that our coming to you was not in vain. But though we had already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we had boldness in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in the midst of much conflict. For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness. ..."
Encouragement is not praise and flattery, it is assistance in viewing things as they really are while providing a solution. When I am encouraging someone in their math problem, I might say, "that one looks right", but "that one needs work. I will not leave the focus on the right one, it needs no correction. I will focus on the one that needs work.
At the end of encouragement comes a better product, a better attitude and forward progress. When someone is more focused on being praised than on excellence in their work they will settle for a job that does not measure up to excellence as it should.
Most Christians today view themselves far more highly than they ought to, making rules God never made and demeaning those who do not follow their rules. And yet they are proud of how special they think they are in front of others.
Specialness is important to the modern Christian. To the born again believer there is no need to feel special because our eyes are on the One Who is special, that is Jesus Christ.
When our heart is on pleasing Christ there is no room or time for elevating self, in fact the idea of elevating self is repugnant to those who love Christ.
John 3:30
"30 He must increase, but I must decrease.”
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