Wednesday, December 5, 2018

The Narcissist Wants You To Be Unhappy

Your happiness is an irritant to the narcissist. The narcissist hates the joy of the born again believer. They even hate our kindness toward them, it convicts them of their own sin.

Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."

The happiness of the narcissist is always based on external experiences. There is no inner happiness for the narcissist. A born again believe has joy in their inner being all the time. They have no need of external experiences to make them happy.

The narcissist cannot be happy unless adventures are occurring. These adventures must keep happening over and over again for them to feel a sense of happiness.

For the born again believer the joy is so full that there is no need for external stimuli to keep the happiness going. Our faith is full and we are joyful all the time, even in the middle of hardship.

The narcissist hates our joy, even working to destroy it for its audacity to outshine them.

Born again believers are not competitive, they do not have a need to be above anyone else. They know they are so far beneath God that there is no desire to be superior to anyone else.

1 John 4:18-21
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us. If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also. "

In the heart of the narcissist there is a raging need to be seen as superior to others. When we see everyone as fallen and in need of a Savior, including ourselves, we will not view ourselves as better than anyone else. However we do know that God has given us wisdom that can only come from Him. We love to share with others what He has given to us. The freedom and joy that comes with the wisdom of Christ brings us a sense of gratefulness that Christ can and has worked in us. He gets all the glory, we have no glory without Him.

There are believers, sadly many these days, that have not grown out of the competitive spirit. They remain child like in their responses to life because their focus is external, based on accomplishment and appearances that have no value in spiritual growth. The more worldly accomplished we see ourselves the greater the pride within us. There is no joy in pride, there is only an emptiness that must continually be filled with more accomplishment and more external accolades. If the narcissist cannot experience more accomplishments and praise from others they will draw on those from the past in an attempt to fill the empty void within them.

Have you ever met an old person who never has a new story. They are always repeating the same stories from their past that gave them a sense of purpose and elevation in the eyes of others.

Believers who refuse to confess and admit these flaws will remain spiritual infants until they can see themselves in truth. We all have to admit flaws to grow spiritually.

We see in our modern Christianity an arrogance that cannot seem to sustain a sense of spirituality, it must be continually asserted day in and day out for the superficial Christian to maintain a happiness. Notice I said happiness not joy.

Joy is far different from happiness. Happiness is based on things that happen to us that create elation because of the event. Joy is always there, a peace and steadiness that never leaves not based on any event.

John 15:10-12 "…10 If you keep My commandments, you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love. 11 I have told you these things so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. 12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.…"

The fullness of joy that we receive from Christ Who is in us, has nothing to do with events that make us feel good. It is all about His peace and His love within us. This joy is present no matter what is going on around us. It is there when nothing at all is happening. This is why we have no need of continual events, toys or parties to make us feel good. We also do not need others to make us feel good. We love others, but our joy is not dependent on whether or not they love us back.

We enjoy those who love us and there is a sense of support when that love is reciprocal. We are to love the brethren.

1 John 3:14
"We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death."

Romans 12:10
"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."

Notice the verse in Romans? We are to show greater honor to others. We are not to honor ourselves.

1 John 4:7
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God."

The superior self righteous narcissist does not love others. They only love themselves this is why they rage so readily when challenged to take a look at themselves.

Brethren, keep loving even if no one else does. Love God's way, keep speaking truth, being honest and leave the results to God.

No comments:

Post a Comment