There is often false guilt over your words merely because of someone else's reaction.
We see the irrational reactions of the narcissist and think we must have done something wrong when we did not
When we begin judging ourselves on our own words and intent we no longer take seriously the false accusations in the form of negative reactions to us.
Guilty and narcissistic people will react violently to any form of disagreement or correction just because they cannot tolerate any opposition to them. Opposition to them is seen as a threat and a complete dismantling of their being. They interpret disagreement as hatred, because they feel hatred when someone disagrees and they think everyone is like them.
Saying to a narcissist, "you are wrong about that" is considered a deeply personal attack that diminishes them as having a bad character.
The false persona of a narcissist is based on the way they wish to view themselves, that is godlike. They see anyone who challenges them on any level as an enemy to be destroyed.
The manipulation of accusing us of saying something in a mean way will not work anymore on the target. We are more focused on how we said it than we were on their reactions. We are more focused on truth than we are on how others will respond to that truth.
When their reaction becomes the focus then they can affect us through false guilt.
Those walking in the Holy Spirit can tell the difference when they walk in the flesh and when they walk in the Spirit. The Spirit speaks loudly within our soul it is far different from self confidence.
Galatians 5:16-18
"16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17 For the flesh [a]sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you [b]please. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law."
Those who walk in the Spirit do not rage at any challenge, they simply answer it according to the Scriptures.
Those who walk in the flesh will fight to destroy the one they believe is coming against them. Notice that phrasing, "coming against them." The narcissist does not discuss anything to come to truth, they discuss to win and truth is not very important as long as they win or can maintain their false belief.
A win to the narcissist is demolishing their opponent, melting them to a puddle on the floor completely defeated. For the narcissist its not about truth its about who appears more powerful.
I am deeply worried about those who love arguments. Its not truth they seek, just a good fight to the death.
One cannot tell this to a narcissist, when they are discovered they execute revenge on the one they cannot control. That revenge often comes in the form of gossip against their target or simply obviously leaving them out of the loop.
The Lord has described these people in 2 Timothy 3 very vividly. They are increasing, we must know the enemy to be able to refuse to be sucked into their drama. When we know them we can avoid them with deliberately and resolve.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 2
“Difficult Times Will Come”
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, [a]haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of [b]godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.…"
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Proverbs 29:11
"A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back."
Proverbs 28:26
"Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered."
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