There comes a time when we must remove ourselves from negative aggressive people who tend to accuse us of aggression when clearly they have the aggressive tendencies. These people often accuse others of being and doing what they are and not what the others are.
If a narcissist can intimidate their target by accusing them of something the narcissist is, they might be able to cause the target to capitulate.
Narcissists hate worse than anything being isolated this why the seek to isolate their target to punish them for not doing as they do or living as they think they should live.
In another vain we see the tactic of isolation used in what today is called, "time out" in the discipline of children. I call this form of punishment abuse. Children are tender and in need of instruction and physical discipline to bring them into obedience. However, isolation from the family causes frustration in the children.
When children are spanked and then allowed to return to family functions they know they were merely being trained to act appropriately.
When children are not disciplined with the rod God's way and then isolated from the rest of the group, they are sent the message that since they do not measure up they will not be allowed to continue with the family. This is a manipulation tactic that creates anger in the child while sending the message that "we no longer love you so we are getting rid of you."
When a child is disciplined God's way, with the rod, they know they are just being corrected to act properly. They are allowed to resume with the family after the chastisement fully accepted as a loved one.
Because of the "time out" mentality toward children these days the adults are using this same mentality with one another with a slight twist. The idea that we rage at and punish with isolation those who do not think as we do is rampant throughout our culture. Ignoring one when they speak or using what I call "disapproving grunts" to show contempt is another of these tactics of dismissal.
It is one thing to remove ourselves from these emotionally violent people who practice this on a regular basis, its quite another to rage at and isolate someone who has done nothing to us but just don't agree with us on lifestyles. By life styles I don't mean sin, but rather ways of doing things different from ourselves that are not sinful.
There have been homemakers who were mocked for keeping a clean house, silly huh!!! These same homemakers would never mock someone for having a dirty house, even though they should clean up their house.
Now days someone who keeps a clean house might be avoided by those who don't. Not because the clean homemaker did something wrong but because the dirty homemaker did something wrong. The first thing they did was choose not to clean their house and the second thing was to punish the one who kept a clean house.
When there is mocking when we do something to please God we can be sure there is jealousy and often isolation because of it. Isolation is a tactic that has been used by guards in prisoner of war camps to cause insanity in the one they are abusing.
God gave us the formula for disciplining children, isolation was never a part of that formula.
Proverbs 13:24 "24 He who withholds his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him diligently."
God said to diligently discipline, that is to do it for every infraction. Some times a child will do a small things and a stern voice is enough. Other times there is a needed slap on the hand to make the child stop touching something. Other times a spanking on their back side with a rod or wooden spoon is required to show the severity of the infraction.
Isolation in the form of "time out" is not only NOT biblical it is the tactic of the devil used in prison camps for captured war criminals to break their heart, discouraging them to the point of insanity.
"Guilt tripping" tp manipulate a child into doing the right things is also not proper. If a child becomes guilty because of a chastisement that is acceptable guilt. The deliberate attempt to shame a child to cause guilt is not acceptable. Manipulation to cause emotional reactions in children is sin in my opinion.
Our culture uses many covert means of communication that are damaging. As born again believers we must learn to be honest, open and diligent to speak truth without manipulative bents. God can work on the heart of another human being without our silly human covert tactics to cause them to have an emotional melt down.
If someone has an emotional melt down because they have been told the truth then that is up to God and on them. However, if we deliberately shame a person to have a melt down then that is on us. Speaking the truth boldly with a loving spirit is God's formula for chastising one another. Manipulation and intimidation is not God's formula.
When someone is manipulated and intimidated to do what we want so they will stop the bad feelings there is no change of heart, only a change of behavior for a time.
When we speak the truth boldly and with love in our heart then it is God's business to work guilt and shame in someone's heart for an authentic heart change, not a superficial outer change that looks good while the heart remains the same.
Intimidation, manipulation and isolation are not tools God has commanded for the born again believer. When the born again believer has the fruit of the Spirit then they will be acting appropriately toward everyone without manipulation and intimidation.
Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. We use very different tactics with adults who are in rebellion than we do with children who just need some training and redirection.
With adults who refuse to be corrected we see their heart mentality and verse five of this description tells us what we are to do.
2 Timothy 3:1-9 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.
6 For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses,
7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith.
9 But they will not make further progress; for their folly will be obvious to all, just as Jannes’s and Jambres’s folly was also.
Notice the description of the weak women, they are led astray by their dedication to emotion rather than rational reasoning. These women are always attempting to learn new things but the new things they learn are not from God and lead many into error.
The inculcation of psychology in our culture has led to much confusion, emotional responses rather than rational ones as well as anger to control others.
When we do not do child rearing or interpersonal adult relationships God's way we are left with a culture out of control and heading down the abyss of hellish monstrous cultural decay.
Sadly we are there now!!!! What is the solution? The only solution is for those who have fallen into the worlds trap in handling life experiences must confess it, repent (change their mind about it) and ask Christ to change them into a new creation.
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