If we are trying to change ourselves it fosters pride and failure. If Christ changes us He gets the glory and the change is real and permanent.
Philippians 2:13
"13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to desire and to work for His good pleasure."
"10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Ephesians 2:9-10 "…9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance as our way of life."
Those who think they can be the best version of themselves they are depending on themselves to become good.
Those who know they are without the ability to change their own character are the ones who can grow because Christ will work in them.
Philippians 2:12-14 "12 Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence but now even more in my absence, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. 13 For it is God who works in you to will and to act on behalf of His good purpose. 14Do everything without complaining or arguing,"
When we work real hard to be a good person we are elevating ourselves above God, taking on the job only He can do.
Romans 12:3
"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think of yourself with sober judgment, according to the measure of faith God has given you."
We cannot save ourselves and we cannot change ourselves. It is a work of Christ that changes someone into a new creation after they express their sinfulness and desire to be changed by Him.
1 Corinthians 15:10
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not in vain. No, I worked harder than all of them--yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.
2 Corinthians 5:17
"17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new [a]creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
We cannot make ourselves a new creation nor can we make ourselves better people. God must do it all through the Holy Spirit when someone becomes born-again.
If someone says they are a Christian but nothing in them has changed and they even regress over time, they have not been transformed by Christ because they are attempting to do in themselves that which only God can do.
Stop attempting to be a good person in your own efforts and begin trusting Christ to change you. The more you try to change yourself the more phony and weak you become. Everything you do will be based on how good you think you are doing without Christ.
When the change in us is done by Christ it is constant, authentic, and always involves love for Him and everyone else.
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