Emotional Response or Reasonable Explanation?

Our emotional responses say something about us. Those who respond with reason are operating from rational thought. Those who respond emotionally in rage are not thinking nor are they demonstrating love.

I knew someone who practiced gaslighting to confuse and frustrate others in conversation. When someone was giving a reason for what they did he would call it "an excuse" to diminish them. Everything to this person was seen as an "excuse" unless it was him, then it was a "reason."

This tactic of accusing others of things that are not true often is a confession of the narcissist of what is in their own heart. Dismissing the reasons of others while validating only his own reasons was a tactic to antagonize someone into an angry response and even cause them to doubt themselves.

When we notice a person regularly and even continually dismissing our conversation to antagonize us, this is a person to avoid.

Proverbs 22:24-25

"Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul."

Those who use hostility to cause anger in others are themselves angry people. They know they are angry inside because of their attempts to make others seem worse than themselves by their strategy to cause emotional responses in their target.

God made it clear to avoid these people, they are controlled by the devil to cause God's people to fall into the sin of frustration and self-defensiveness.

If you have to be around someone because they are family then we must learn to ignore their tactics, be comfortable never explaining ourselves to them, and refuse to become emotionally enticed to respond just like them.

If a narcissist can cause anger in us they will count it a win and in their own mind will appear superior to those they aggravate.

Proverbs 22:24-25 "24 Do not make friends with an angry man, and do not associate with a hot-tempered man, 25 or you may learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.…"

Remaining silent is often the best course of action when we notice someone's attempt to provoke us to elevate themselves.

Proverbs 15:18

"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger calms dispute."

Proverbs 21:24 "“Proud,” “Arrogant,” “Scoffer,” are his names, One who acts with insolent pride."

Isaiah 16:6

"We have heard of Moab's pomposity, his exceeding pride and conceit, his overflowing arrogance. But his boasting is empty."

Never fear those who act in arrogant pride to antagonize those they hate. Our greatest weapon against such people is to remain unaffected and unemotional about their foolishness toward us.

To care what they think of us is what causes us to defend ourselves. When we care only what God thinks we have no need to explain ourselves to those who love to provoke others into annoyance.

Romans 12:19

"19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord."

Trust Christ in all things and we will have no desire to force a response.