Lacking "Generational Boundaries"

Why is there so much information on the subject of "narcissism" in our day? The answer is clear, we are living in the times of 2 Timothy 3:1-5, in which arrogance, selfishness and entitlement is elevated to a "virtue" status, even those who are seculars are seeing it, showing us how deeply prevalent it is now. Those walk with Christ are able to discern it early on with greater understanding.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."

The covert narcissist lacks "generational boundaries", in other words they have no respect or honor for elders or those who have had much more experience in life than they have. Since they are deeply committed to self exaltation they cannot accept anyone as over them in any way.

These people tend to think they are equal with or above everyone, no matter their experience level. They will feel superior to those who have much more experience than they do, because they tend to think of themselves as "all knowing." How can someone who feels elevated to everyone else ever submit to God they cannot see?

It is impossible to reason with such a person, their elevated view of themselves prevents any self reflection or regret about anything they say or do. It is as if pulling teeth to get them to discuss anything. Their first response to a request to discuss a matter is to fight, argue and demean to gain the higher position. There is no semblance of rational, logical or levelheaded attempt at resolving anything and no sense whatever of concern for the one who wishes to settle a matter on amicable and loving terms. There will never be an apology for an offense nor will there be an admission of wrong. Tenderness, emotional vulnerability and compassion are seen as weakness to these types.

Narcissists are hyper sensitive to criticism, correction or instruction since they have elevated themselves above everyone except those they perceive to be the experts. Then they feel superior for having known the "expert."

There are emotional outbursts that seem irrational, since the smallest disagreement will send them into a sense that they have been attacked. Every challenge no matter how small is seen as a personal attack, rather than a chance to learn something or to grow.

These people accuse others of doing what they are doing but the others are not, one of the favored tactics of the devil.

The devils most effective and used maneuver is to accuse others of things they are not doing to unnerve them. If he can keep the believer in a continual state of trying to explain and defend themselves, he diverts their attention from the things God has for him to do, while causing the victim to feel a sense of helplessness.

When we see this happening, we need to pray for the Lord to intervene, while we remove ourselves. If you remember verse 5 of 2 Timothy 3, we are told to get away from those who will never admit their sin and will never apologize, they will only continue their covert tactics keeping us preoccupied with drama and foolishness.

I write about this a lot because there is so much more of this going on than ever before in this age of "self esteem." People in general are becoming more rude, mean, self righteous and down right antagonistic over the silliest things. If we know God's response to it and what He expects of us, we can effectively protect ourselves and others from those who have love only for themselves.

God says this to those who operate from this mentality of selfishness:

John 8:44 "You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies."

The key to all of this is to know our Bibles, pray continually for the Holy Spirit to lead in everything and be willing to walk away from destructive relationships that attempt to deter us from the principles of God.

1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

When we are in continual frustration we are focused on our own feelings rather than on Christ, this is exactly where the devil wants us.......distracted. We can be sure that these tactics and attempts to ruin us will increase as we move through these ends times. We don't have to give into it, we can be strong in Christ, walking as we should no matter who or what comes against us.

If our mind is being continually renewed and strengthened, we will not fall into the devil's trap.

Romans 12:2 "2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

Ephesians 4:27 "…26 BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity."

1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

James 4:7 "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

2 Corinthians 4:4 "In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."

John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

James 1:13-15 "Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death."

God does not want us to place anyone on a pedestal whose opinion takes priority over God's principles. When we see someone who is attempting to destroy our peace through evil tactics, then we can head it off by honoring God His way, resolving to be willing to lose that which does not enhance our walk with Christ.

We can move on to those who want to hear, those who may be open. We must avoid the pitfalls of remaining continually in the lives of those who would work to undermine our spiritual growth and our walk with Christ. NO ONE takes priority over Christ EVER!

Matthew 10:13-15 "…13"If the house is worthy, give it your blessing of peace. But if it is not worthy, take back your blessing of peace. 14"Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet. 15"Truly I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city."

Of course the verses in Matthew above are referring to bringing the gospel to a town, but the principle of removing ourselves from people who would only fight with us, is still applicable. Christ never followed or became close friends with the Pharisees who rejected Him, and neither should we.

Biblical Discernment

We have to be more careful than ever about proclaiming our love for celebrities. The world is validating wicked people and demeaning righteous ones.

We should not love someone because most people do and we should not hate someone because others do. Our opinions of people ought to be based on the Biblical principles given to us by God and what we have seen for ourselves.

1 Corinthians 2:14-16 "…14 But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. 15 But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. 16 For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, THAT HE WILL INSTRUCT HIM? But we have the mind of Christ."

You can be sure if the world as a whole loves something or someone, something is wrong with it or them.

Narcissists Don't Like Manners

I really hate it when in-law children call their in-law parents by their first name rather than "Mrs. Jones or Mom, Mr. Jones or Dad."

When we got married everyone called their in-laws "Mom or Dad", it was a way of expressing that our new spouse's family was now ours and we showed the same respect to them that we showed our own parents.

It is a sign of leveling, bringing down the respected position of parents by calling them by their first name. Many people still think it's wrong to call their mother or father by their first name, but will insist on the children calling their grandparents by their first name or in-law parents by their first name.

We now live in a culture in which grandchildren are encouraged to call their grandparents by their first name, such as "Grandma Jane" or "Grandpa Richard". It is offensive to us because it removes the honor and respect that should be there for someone in a position of special recognition.

The old world practice for in-laws, was to call their in-laws either "Dad and Mom" or "Father and Mother" or "Mr. Jones and Mrs. Jones."

The old world practice for grandchildren was to call Grandparents "Grandmother or Grandfather" or "Grandma and Grandpa." Some traditions use other forms of this such as "Mamma and Pappa." The honor and respect remain which ever form we use, first names are far too familiar to lend itself to honor and respect.

Even when we disagreed with our parents or grandparents we never fought or argued with them, we accepted them for who they were, allowing them to be who they were without vengeful consequences.

It all began in the movies, when Hollywood broke down the lines of respect and honor, making people believe that no one was to be treated with any more respect than anyone else. Sadly this has morphed into other forms of dishonor on the part of young people.

I was in a discussion with a young man who thought dressing up was unnecessary and he would not do it for anyone. I explained to him that dressing up was also a sign of respect. There are certain people we show respect to by our clothing, demeanor and what we call them.

In this discussion with the young man I told him that if he were ever to go before the president of the United States, the required dress would be a suit and tie. One doesn't even go onto the house floor in the sessions of government, without a coat and tie. It is considered a sign of respect to look our best when in the company of others who are in authority over us or in a special position of honor.

This young man told me that he would never wear a suit and tie for the president, and then is when I told him that he would not be allowed in his presence without this required clothing. The young man then mocked me, as though I had told him something that was ridiculous.

I felt sad that our children's generation is so arrogant, that it does not understand and even mocks gestures of honor and respect, that have been around for many generations.

Back in the day, even poor folks had one nice outfit that they wore in the presence of others, at church, weddings, funerals, dedications and many other things where sloppiness would have been a sign of disrespect and a distraction.

The things that we were taught in school as respectful and necessary to defer to others are now mocked, demeaned and rejected by those who have been raised in self esteem.

Dressing as a sign of respect is a way of deferring to others, arrogant people refuse to defer to anyone. I believe this is why our culture has degenerated into casual clothing, at least in our region. Everything is about self, deferring to others is unthinkable to those who are full of themselves.

In an effort to break down all barriers to authority, young folks were encouraged to disregard the cultural standards that promoted honor and respect. Now we have young people who treat the older generation as equals, feeling free to mock them, argue with them and even deliberately demean them so as to be elevated above them.

I fear that because of this leveling mentality, the younger generation will see even worse offenses against them by their own children as the society continues down the slippery slide to total anarchy against all authority. When the society as a whole promotes disrespect and the parents go along with it, the children will do in extreme what their parents did moderately.

When we see this happening we can expect that there will be an increase in elder abuse, after all the tenderness and love that accompanied the attitudes of honor and respect, led the younger generation to care for the elderly.

Remembering that they gave them life, raised them, provided for their every need and protected them during the most vulnerable years of their life, they valued their parents.

When these principles are removed, there is nothing to stop the younger folks from treating their parents as though they are a burden to be avoided, set aside and worse yet, put down, the way a master puts down a sickly animal that is no longer useful. If you think this is going too far in exaggeration, remember the abortion issue, when people said that no one would kill their babies all the way through the ninth month, now we have partial birth abortion. All sins leads to greater sin when not repented of.

Babies are being murdered outside the womb who have survived the abortions. And, they think that the dishonor and disrespect for parents and grandparents will not lead to euthanasia? When a culture becomes this callous and disrespectful, it will be taken to it's ultimate and logical extreme.

Back in the day when respect and honor were normal, elderly parents were seen as people with wisdom, there was a desire to care for them as one would care for a delicate and fragile precious antique.

When sin is elevated in the smallest degree it will grow. There is no stopping this sin when it is full blown.

1 Corinthians 5:6-7 " 6 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough? 7 Clean out the old leaven so that you may be a new lump, just as you are in fact unleavened."

Two Boys Two Choices

Exactly and no one makes us what we are, they may be an influence but we ultimately make the choices. The one who chooses alcohol, was merely using is his father as an excuse. The one who did not drink chose to think with his brain about what is better and what works. Neither man had an excuse to dishonor his father because of his father's failings.  

Ezekile 18:19-21 
"19"Yet you say, 'Why should the son not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity?' When the son has practiced justice and righteousness and has observed all My statutes and done them, he shall surely live. 20"The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son's iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself. 
21"But if the wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed and observes all My statutes and practices justice and righteousness, he shall surely live; he shall not die.…"

Why Would I Say "R.I.P" to an Unsaved Dead Person

I am not understanding the posts I see that honor unsaved movie stars who have died, with the saying "R.I.P." on the part of believers.

I can understand the unsaved who have many idols in their lives, but a born again believer doing this makes no sense at all.

I also understand believers watching shows for the story, but to elevate the actors in those shows as special merely because they were good at that profession, really defies reason for me.

If someone lived a Hollywood lifestyle, looking for fame and fortune through an acting career, chances are good they were not born again and ended up in hell. Why would we speak to them, the dead person and say "Rest in peace"?

There I go again, raining on someone's parade, they gloried in the enjoyment of the actors glow of a television show or movies they liked, because of their personal enjoyment of the movie or show, they judged this person as a good person worthy of praise even after death, knowing they were not born again, even acted in shows that devalued God.

Every movie star that I have researched, who acted in movies I have enjoyed, were proven to live selfish lives, many marriages, rebellious children and nothing of real value except amassing a fortune as their claim to fame.
Why on earth would I say R.I.P to an unsaved, wicked and immoral movie star that probably went to hell? Perhaps I am just slow, I just don't get it.

Are there so many who just don't think about what they are doing, but feel free to do things because they are tradition of the culture?

Meekness is not Cowarice

We are living in the end times, nothing will get better, things will get worse. However in Christ we don't have to fear all this mess, we can retain our joy, tell the truth, take our lumps while we wait for Christ to come and get us.

Are you like me? Do you seem to be the one to always be raining on other people's parades? Every time you turn around someone is doing or saying something mean or foolish to demean or silence us?

Welcome to the world of those who have trusted Christ. Nothing makes good sense in the world any more. In fact, when something does make good sense it is immediately rejected and dismissed by most people in our sphere of influence. 

 

Does it seem like everything we say and do is judged as foolish, mean or down right stupid, in the reactions of those around us? Or do you find yourself being ignored a lot by those who don't want to hear anything except bubbly happy things?

Welcome to my world, the world I have lived in most of my life. And, my guess is that it is your world too if you are born again and walking with Christ.

Even those who attend a church gathering are caught up in Pharisaical rules, hyper sensitivity to instruction or correction and resistant to any form of challenge to seek God on any level.

Arrogance rules the hearts of most people involved in churches today. One is accepted as wonderful and special as long as they continue their plastic smiles, heads that nod in placid approval no matter what is going on. Silence is the new righteousness, it dominates most gatherings, sadly mistaken for meekness.

Meekness is patient endurance, it is not sheepishness, silence or weakness. It is the quality of speaking at the right time, telling the truth no matter the expected reaction while remaining in control of our emotions.

Exercising God's strength under His control is the Biblical meaning of meekness! Not weakness, not sheepishness nor is it cowardice. As someone once said it is actually "power under control." 

 

When we allow others to manipulate us into silence merely to fit into their idea of righteousness, then they have become our god, an idol. We must be willing to be rejected and on the outs with those who do not want to hear truth, otherwise it is they who are in control of our lives rather than Christ. 

 

Remember idols are not merely statues we place in our homes to bow to, they can be anyone or anything we give preference to other than God. Bowing is in the mind, it doesn't have to happen on the outside to be the same expression of worship, if it is in the heart, that is where it begins.

Pride Destroys Humility Builds

God uses the nothing things, the nothing people and the nothing nations in this world to bring shame upon the famous, proud, accomplished and self exalted.

God will not use someone who is deeply committed to self exaltation or promotion. Those who preach the prosperity gospel or judge others because they don't measure up to their worldly idea of blessing, are walking in pride. They may have prosperity here, but at some point they will be judged for their lack of love and empathy, all that they held so dear will slip away from them and punishment will be close behind.

Philippians 2:1-11 "1 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,

2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.

3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,

6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,

7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.

8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name,

10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Until we empty ourselves of pride, we cannot be useful to Christ. Those who walk in arrogance, thinking they have everything to offer and others have nothing to offer them, are headed for a fall. A person who cannot humble themselves before men they can see, will never humble themselves before God they cannot see, no matter how good a show they display for others.

How we treat others is an indication of our view of God.

I John 3:13-15 "…13 Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.…"

Proverbs 16:17-19 "…17 The highway of the upright is to depart from evil; He who watches his way preserves his life. 18 Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling. 19 It is better to be humble in spirit with the lowly Than to divide the spoil with the proud."