If someone is an adult and still finds themselves wanting to engage all the time in play adventures, I would suggest that person has not yet learned what it means to walk closely with the Lord.
Our walk with Christ is more satisfying than any amount of play. Play seems like a useless endeavor to those who love the Lord. Personal gratification in useless activity demonstrates a heart that has not yet matured.
Colossians 3:23 "23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,"
1 Corinthians 13:11 "11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I set aside childish ways"
The more spiritual we become the less we enjoy play or self gratification. Our gratification comes from our walk with the Lord and remaining in obedience to Him.
Play is not very important to me anymore, but rest is very enjoyable, only after a day of a certain amount of accomplishment.
Idleness is boring and useless, unless it is rest after working.
Why do I write so much about Narcissism and cultural rebellion against God's principles?
I write a lot about this subject because I believe it is increasing and believers need to know how to deal with it.
Just 40 years ago most people had a sense of kindness and love, now it seems very absent from most things most of the time. And to make matters worse young children are being raised to demand their own way without instruction as to how to be a kind host or hostess.
Manners have gone by the wayside because they are designed to care for others. We offer a drink to guests as soon as they enter our home because we want to make them feel welcome and comfortable. Many people have lost the art of this kind of hospitality.
When our minds are continually on our own convenience, there will be no concern about the comfort of others. Hospitality and manners are for others, not for ourselves.
Romans 12:13
"contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality."
1 Peter 4:9
"Be hospitable to one another without complaint."
Acts 28:2
"The natives showed us extraordinary kindness; for because of the rain that had set in and because of the cold, they kindled a fire and received us all."
Hospitality is not just providing food and hydration, it is also an excitement at the presence of the one we serve. Showing interest in the visitor is part of hospitality.
Narcissists fear rejection because they use rejection and believe others do the same.
Narcissists expect others to do the same things they practice all the time. They live in a state of fear, the way an angry dog expresses his fear through aggression.
Those who are secure in Christ, have no need to immediately intimidate to control others. They enjoy the freedom from the need to be special or elevated by others.
Those who are secure in Christ have no need of praise from others to be validated. The narcissist is heavily invested in the need for praise and adulation, the very reason they withhold it from their targets. They believe they are diminishing and devaluing their target by withholding the very thing the narcissist is dependent upon for emotional survival.
The judgments narcissists make about others is based not on accuracy but their own responses. Since the narcissist is deeply insecure and in need of continual praise, they believe others are too. Withholding praise from others is their way of manipulating emotions for their target to feel bad about themselves.
Those who are secure in Christ are not effected by the tricks of the narcissist because they have few vulnerabilities to prey upon, however they are intuitive to the wiles of the narcissist and choose not to engage with them, even remove themselves to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Satan is all about turmoil, trouble and doubt, he works continually to keep conflict going in relationships, even if those he uses doesn't know they are being used.
The narcissist must lie continually to keep their elevated view of self and diminish the value of their target.
John 8:44 "44 You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
Some people say the narcissist knows how they are hurting you, it is deliberate, but what they don't know is that their thoughts and intentions are twisted through demonic activity within their own minds.
The narcissist works to trigger anger and frustration, their purpose is to be able to get us to sin. If they can get us to sin, they can feel a sense of superiority. Even when they are not able to get us to sin, they will twist the facts to make it seem as though we have sinned when we have not.
The narcissist will poke at us in many ways overtly or covertly in an attempt to bring out the baser side of ourselves, causing doubt and guilt in us. If we see what they are doing and refuse to be manipulated, then the narc has no power.
The narcissist loses all power over us when we obey Christ.
Proverbs 26:4 "4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Or you will also be like him."
Matthew 5:44 "44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"
God says to pray for those who mistreat us, and He says to remove ourselves, the blessing God speaks of in Matthew has to do with prayer, not necessarily keeping company with them.
Proverbs 14:7 "7 Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge."
We bless our enemies by doing no revenge and refusing to engage in their arguments as well as praying for them. We never remain in the presence of an arguer, there is no edification in that for either party.
Isaiah 26:10 " 10 Though the wicked is shown favor, He does not learn righteousness; He deals unjustly in the land of uprightness, And does not perceive the majesty of the LORD. "
Pretending there is nothing wrong with the wicked man, coddling them in their sin is not showing love nor is it godly. Our job as believers is to speak truth about their condition, when we see them rage and refuse to listen then we must remove ourselves, leaving them to God to deal with.
Our prayer is that the narcissist will hear God and one day repent. Until that happens we must remain at peace in the distance.
When they are ready to hear and are repentant, then we would willingly join in their joy of salvation and repentance.
Mankind has the propensity to elevate "symbols" of righteousness higher than actually being righteous in their hearts. Many people who claim to follow Christ are more about appearances than they are substance.
As long as our culture "says" they are Christian, they are comfortable. However, the moment a brother or sister suggests they need some work on something in their lives, they begin to rage as though they have no need of improvement.
Not only can most people not admit they need improvement, they are aghast that anyone would think they have issues. There is no one who with out the need for cleansing.
Romans 5:1-5
"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Psalm 106:3
"Blessed are they who observe justice, who do righteousness at all times!"
Part of doing righteousness is admitting to things that need work in us. Those who will not evaluate themselves or admit anything, cannot grow and they not only remain child like in their walk, they regress into infancy for their stubbornness.
1 Peter 5:10
"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
It is painful to look at ourselves in truth, it is sort of like opening the blinds of a window on a sunny day. The room is lovely until the sun shines in and we can see all the dust flying in the air. That's what light does, it exposes the dirt that was hidden by the darkness.
However, once we see our filthy self, there is great peace and joy after confessing to God and then turning from that filth. Filth is more than blatant immorality, the filth of pride dominates most American Christians, so much so that when confronted about a sin, they not only rage, they become more staunch in their resolve to prove they are allowed to do the sin they love.
2 Timothy 2:22
"So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart."
All you divorced and remarried people out there, please stop influencing the young people by speaking about your excuses for your actions.
We need to be developing in the young people the desire to be sacrificial and committed to their potential spouse no matter what!!!
Stop discouraging them about marriage! Many young people are not bothering to get married because they think that marriage is not a commitment, that when the going gets rough someone is going to bail out. These shack up's expect to be abandoned one day just as they were abandoned by their parents. When parents split and live apart, the children feel abandoned, no matter how many times they see their parents. There is a ripping and tearing of their security, they do not have two homes, they are homeless being a visitor at their parents homes.
The young people are already feeling abandoned by parents who couldn't stay together for the sake of the children, how could the children ever expect anyone else to love them in their imperfections, when the parent refused to accept and love their imperfect spouse.
Those who divorce are sending the message that we only stand by people if they are what we expect them to be. What if our expectations change, what if we end up finding out our spouse isn't as perfect as he/she acted when we were dating. Well, folks, that's on us, if we based our opinion of our boyfriend/girlfriend on how they treated us on an outing, then we were foolish. That made the potential spouse more about what they could give us than whether or not they displayed a character that was right for a family and it made us look ignorant because of the high opinion we have of self, that motivates us to evaluate our partner on the basis of their perfection or lack of it.
No one is perfect, get that......NO ONE IS PERFECT!!!
It is better to keep the mouth shut about divorce and remarriage excuses and begin to instill commitment and self sacrifice in our young rather than giving them a discouraging message before they even get to the altar.
When we have half of the marriages in the church today ending in divorce and almost always in remarriage, we have taught the children that leaving someone because we cannot get along, is the normal response to life. Why can these full grown adults not get alone the same way they didn't get along with a sibling or friend when they were five years old. My guess is because they were spoiled brats as children and remain spoiled brats as adults.
Sorry, there it is, eat it!
Romans 7:2-3
"For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.""
So many are working very hard to justify their divorce and remarriage, it is astonishing.
If one has done this and are completely comfortable with what they have done, then why is the need so strong to convince others they have done the right thing.
I suggest that those who have divorced and remarried are not entirely convinced in their own minds or they would not feel a need to defend so strongly their actions.
God was clear on this matter of divorce and remarriage, there is no need for discussion, and yet we see these sins being defended more than any other issue.
Our culture has been brainwashed to believe divorce and remarriage are justified because of sins against someone in the marriage. It is almost humorous if it were not so sad, simply because those who are defending God's way to strengthen marriages, to bring the proper perspective of marriage to those who have not yet married, we see others coming to defend the sin, leading many young people astray, giving them the impression that there need be no commitment unto death to a spouse.
To these people a spouse is nothing more than a tool for their own purposes. Rather than being willing to die for the spouse, no matter what they do, they promote bailing out, abandoning the spouse in their sin so as to be free themselves from any hardship.
I have heard stories of women and men who stood by their spouse during terrible times and sins against one another, only to be victorious over the sins because their spouse stood by them. I have known people who were abandoned, going on to be successful in their walk with Christ alone, making a life for themselves without the one who abandoned them while praying for them the whole time.
We have abandoned Christ, we have sinned in every way possible against the Lord as a culture and yet we feel superior to those who abandon us. WHAT? No one is sin free, not even in marriage.
To say that "I would never be that bad" to a sinning spouse is arrogance and selfish. Sins can be very bad, but that does not mean there is never going to be a turning and change. Our culture lacks faith, that's why Christ does far fewer miracles in our culture than He could, because there is no faith that He can be our all, He can change our hearts.
Matthew 13:57-58 "…57 And they took offense at Him. But Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own household is a prophet without honor.” 58 And He did not do many miracles there, because of their unbelief."
YES, I have said it and no argument against this will be received. We do not see reconciliation of marriages in our culture or people moving on to serve Christ alone because of the lack of faith that dwells here.
We are not called to change another person, we are called to be faithful to God ourselves and pray for others. We are to tell the truth, but we are not to punish a spouse by divorcing them just because they are not "as good as we are." This superior mentality that lacks empathy and compassion is what is pervasive in our culture, brought on my the self esteem nonsense.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 3 "But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
We are not to "avoid" our spouses, we are to avoid those men that bring selfish and devilish doctrines that destroy our marriages.
We had an eventful 46th anniversary yesterday. I had a dentist appointment for a sore tooth, finding out that I need a root canal.
Before I left for that appointment my right foot fell asleep, I tried to stand on it, went down, heard a frightening popping sound but felt alright and walked around until my appointment.
After my tooth appointment the foot began to hurt and swell, then it occurred to me it might be broken. Sure enough it was and we spend a couple of hours at the nurses station in the Urgent Care facility.
I now have a boot on my foot to immobilize it until I see the Orthopedic surgeon. They are suppose to call today to make an appointment. They may be putting me in a cast, I've never had a cast before so here we go another learning adventure.
Yep, never walked on crutches before, not nearly as easy as those young people make it look. My husband follows me around fearful that I will make another tumble on them. LOL I am laughing because the fall was ridiculous, this is the third time I have fallen and broken something in the past five years. Disks in my deck had to be replaced because of a fall off of a ladder, my rib was cracked because I slipped on gasoline in the garage that I spilled. Then there was the sleeping foot incident yesterday.
This time I will have to be hobbling on crutches for about six weeks, ugh! I like to keep busy so I guess it will have to be crochet for me.
I must say though that I am grateful to God that all these things are fixable and in a few weeks I will return to normal, Lord willing.
The joke I say to my husband is that the devil is continually pushing me down for no reason.
John 16:33 "33 I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take courage; I have overcome the world!”
My praise today to God is for His provision of very good health care in our country. Yes, some things only God can fix, other things He uses our medical industry to help us. I praise Him for His provision.
