Ladies, I want to encourage all those women who are neglected on Mother's Day. God never commanded this day to be observed therefore we are free to ignore it.
Mother's Day originated with Anna Jarvis who had an emotional experience at her mother's death. She desired to honor her mother at her memorial service in 1907.
I believe our honor for our mothers is more than words and while they are still alive.
Even though it can be a happy time for many to honor their living mothers, it does not make sense to honor a person who has died and gone on to their eternal home whichever place it might be. Those who are dead are not present to enjoy the "honor", this honoring the dead is a paganistic ritual that makes the living feel good but does nothing else.
Honoring someone ought to be while they are alive. Honor is not about gifts or a special day, it's a mentality of valuing the person we honor, their wisdom, their insight, and their personal sacrifices during their life for the sake of their husband and children. And, it is a command of God not based on the performance of the parent.
If someone wishes to honor their parent while they are alive the best way to do that is to treat them with respect all year. Gifts or dinners on one day of the year do not necessarily translate as honoring.
Honoring a parent is a mentality based on a deep abiding love that is present all year, not merely a ritual performed one day a year.
Since the Lord never commanded one day a year to honor a parent we do not have to celebrate it the way the world does.
God commanded that we honor our parents every day as long as they are alive. This does not mean special gifts or dinners, it has to do with a deep love and respect that dwells within us demonstrated by the way we treat our parents on a consistent basis.
God gave us a principle that can be transferred to human relationships too.
Matthew 15:7-8 "…7 You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8 These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’ ”…"
Hosea 6:6
"For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings."
We are made in the image of God, the principles we follow to honor Him are similar to the principles we follow in honoring our parents.
Just as in marriage when our spouse dies we are free from the marriage bond, so too are we freed from the command to honor our parents after they have passed.
Our deceased spouse cannot benefit from our rituals to remember them any more than our deceased parents benefit from honoring their memory after they are gone. The ritual of memorials are based on pagan rituals of ancestor worship.
Those who say they do not worship their ancestors but speak to their dead bodies at a gravesite are practicing paganism.
I know all these things are feel-good experiences for the living person but are they commanded by God or does He appreciate them? They are not commanded but even worse they are forbidden to communicate with the dead.
If you have lost your parents to death or even a spouse, its alright to remember the good things about them but to indulge in a ritual as though they can see it or still hear you speaking is borrowed from paganism. These rituals have no place in the Christians life.
We have something far better and not so temporary. We have the knowledge and hope that we will see our born again loved ones in heaven to be with them forever with our Lord. When we are secure in this we have no need for "feel-good" ritual practices.
Perhaps there is some relief for a time after someone has followed these humanistic rituals, but it still leaves a hole in the heart because they do not know what has happened to their deceased parent, they must pretend to feel good by speaking words that come out the mouth, into the air and fall to the ground. No one heard them or was blessed by them except themselves very temporarily. When our actions are based on feelings alone they are dead and worthless.
Truth is not a big part of the rituals that occur on these man-made holidays.
If your children throw a dinner or party for you enjoy it but do not agonize if they do nothing. I would be more likely to grieve over being treated disrespectfully as a matter of lifestyle than over one day in which there is a ritual to appease the conscience of the child.
I have never been more blessed than first the day I was saved and second the day I realized I do not have to follow the rules of secular paganistic culture. I can live out my life simply without fanfare, enjoying every day as unto the Lord while looking forward to His return for me.
I guess what I wish to say is that so many mothers and fathers look forward to these holidays as though they cannot be happy unless they are acknowledged on these days the culture has designated.
My advice to children and adult children is to honor your parents every day of the year. If they will feel bad that you didn't show up on Mother's day or Father's day then do something to relieve their pain of expectancy by doing something even if only a phone call.
As for me, I love my peace and simplicity allowing me to resist the bondage of expectancy. If the children do something o.k. I will enjoy them, but if not I can be happy and joyful about that too.
Bottom line; if our joy is conditional on who remembers us then we do not have God's joy. We are full and blessed because we have Christ even if no one notices us. What a freedom this is to be full of Christ all the time without expectancy toward others.
Matthew 12:7
"And if you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the guiltless."
Rituals are for the dead at heart, they are not necessary for those who are full of Christ.
1 Samuel 15:22
"And Samuel said, “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams."
Authentic love is constant, it doesn't need a special day.
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