Boasting is a Relationship Killer

When we were in elementary school we were taught to be happy with our own accomplishments, we had no need of constant praise as the children today seem to need. Remember this was more than 60 years ago when bragging and show-casing our accomplishments was not considered a good thing. Humility was taught as a virtue back then.

If a person needs continual adulation from others they lack confidence and very likely are users of others. Those who need to be praised are often irritated and even angry when someone else does not acknowledge them and they make a practice of not affirming others.

When we are confident we are satisfied with our own job well done even if no one else praises us for it. When we are confident human beings we enjoy complimenting others. We love to make another person feel happy in their sharing with us. We feel no need for over-the-top gushy praise, to us it is embarrassing.

When a child is continually praised for the smallest matters they learn to expect praise and even find it intolerable when they are without it.

When we do something too often that thing becomes an expectation and the joy of it is diminished because of its frequency.

It is human nature to enjoy compliments from time to time but in a confident person, there is no need for the compliments in order to feel joy over something that blessed them personally.

Boasting is another byproduct of a lack of confidence. The need to make sure others see what great thing we did or has happened to them becomes dominant in their hearts and reactions to life.

Proverbs 11:2 “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”

Proverbs 16:5 “The LORD detests all the proud of heart.

Sharing our joys with a friend can be sweet as they share theirs with us too. However, in these days of lack of love and empathy for one another, many people do not share they boast, these two concepts are far different in their delivery and purpose.

Sharing is sweet and brings joy to both the person who shares and the one who hears. We do this a lot on Facebook with dear friends. We share our joys and trials as well as the truths of God and it is sweet fellowship.

Boasting is for the purpose of elevating self and has nothing to do with the other person. A braggart can go stand in front of a wall and carry on about themselves, the person in front of them is their wall.

In the world those who boast about themselves want to receive praise and care nothing about the person standing in front of them, they are supply to be used, and they are props.

Often the boasting is to demonstrate superiority over others, a sort of "see what I can do that you cannot" mentality. It has been shown to lack connection with those hearing. The person in front of the one who swaggers isn't even really needed they are a non-entity, supply for the use of the braggart.

When there is a personal loving connection with a person, we enjoy sharing everything about ourselves in honesty and we enjoy hearing from our friends both their joys and their hurts to be a support to them. This is a sweet fellowship. No one cares about being superior or using others as props for our stage production.

Narcissists only wish to hear about our life and experiences to be able to judge it and they will judge everything as worthless or foolish to diminish their target.

Not all boasters are narcissists but all narcissists are boasters.

When we feel ourselves moving into the realm of desiring the accolades of others it is time to go to prayer asking the Lord to expunge from our soul the sin of pride.

Proverbs 29:23

"One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor."

Proverbs 8:13

"The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate."

Romans 12:16

"Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight."

And finally:

Philippians 2:3

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."

Proverbs 27:2

"Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips."

If we want to be Christlike in our walk we must desire the ways of God more than we desire the praise of men.

John 12:43

"43 for they loved the [a]approval of people rather than the approval of God."

God's approval is far more important than the praise of men.