Stockholm Syndrome in Dysfunctional Family Systems

Stockholm syndrome is when someone is kidnapped and abused and ends up siding with the perpetrator thinking they are the protectors when they continue abuse and throw a kindness bone once in a while.

There are many people who have remained in emotionally and spiritually abusive families because they fear being alone more than they fear the abuse. At least with these sick family systems, there is a bone once in a while even if the bone comes with covert sideways comments to demean.

When an abused person depends on people for their comfort, even when it never comes, their hope in the person is a fantasy and yet remains the only thing they have to deflect the harm this kidnapper is placing on their victim.

We see this same dynamic in those who were scapegoated by a dysfunctional family system. They were treated as though they were not worthy of love while hoping time after time that "maybe today they will see me and love me." "Maybe today they will not abuse me."

I have met many people who are treated disrespectfully continually by their narcissistic families but they remain hoping against hope that today when they wake up things will be different, but it never is, infact if they wake up hopeful and happy the narcissist will see this and do something to bring it all crashing down again.

My advice is for those who have been scapegoated by their dysfunctional family, is to remove yourself if it is possible. If it is not possible then keep a distance as much as you can and seek the comfort of Jesus Christ.

In order to have the comfort of the Savior there must be repentance, a confession of their sinfulness and a desire to be changed by Christ. All it takes is that heart that wants to be controlled by Christ.

And, do not be fooled by others who say they are Christians, many people with this designation are those who hurt others. Asking God to send to you those who understand the Word of God and love you as Christ loved you should be our prayer.

I promise you, it is better to be alone with Christ than in a room filled with narcissists who demean you every chance they get. People are not a comfort if they are these types who dominate and destroy.

Authentic born-again believers are not easy to find. The entire culture is infected now with narcissists, so much so that authentic believers are far fewer.

We need not despair because when Christ comes to live in us He is all we need. He comforts us when no one else would. He instructs us when most opinions in the world would give bad advice, He will give the perfect counsel.

We can trust Jesus Christ when there is no one else to trust. My advice is to love others as Christ loves but do not trust those who do not live as Christ lived. Do not believe words that people say, watch actions, these are what tell us the truth.

Christ can make us in His image if we ask Him. He can change us to become strong and resolute in our walk so that the darts of the devil will be deflected.

Proverbs 3:4-6 "…4 Then you will find favor and high regard in the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.…"

Psalm 37:5

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will do it."

Proverbs 28:26

"He who trusts in himself is a fool, but one who walks in wisdom will be safe."

Jeremiah 9:23

"This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, nor the strong man in his strength, nor the wealthy man in his riches."

We are living in the last days of deep deception, there will be few authentic believers and a whole lot of devilish trickery in nearly everything we encounter.

Trust Christ Lean on Him.