This phrase to obey our husbands had nothing to do with obeying sinful demands. It had to do with his godly leadership as described by God, that is to lead by example of godliness and tender protection of his wife and children.
1 Peter 3:1-2 “1 Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives 2 when they see your pure and reverent demeanor. “
It is not pure and reverent behavior to look at filthy movies.
God gave the woman authority over her household as the helpmate and the keeper of the home. Her authority extended to the activities that go on in the home.
A husband can be won to the Lord by the wife’s example of godliness. As she lives for God in all her ways she can be evidence of strength as she “obeys God rather than man.”
1 Peter 3:1
Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”
Demanding that a woman watch filth with the husband only diminishes his respect for her. It is to treat her with disrespect as well as contempt. Any man who does such a thing is an evil man and must be resisted when he pressures his wife to sin with him.
Remember Ananias and Sapphira? There is a very good example of a wife who didn’t love her husband. She was more concerned about her appearances with others than obeying God. Perhaps if she had counseled her husband not to sin against God by lying to the Holy Spirit, they both would not have been killed by God. Or perhaps Ananias would have refused to listen and sinned alone and died alone.
Read Acts 5 for this story.
1 Peter 3:16
“Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good life in Christ.” King James uses the word “conversation” in place of "life" here but the original word meaning was “by her lifestyle” not merely words.
1 Peter 2:12
“Having your conversation (lifestyle) honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.”
Ephesians 5:22-24 “22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
What does leading in a family look like: Husbands are to lead by example and edification, not by bullying and coercion. The leader must never do anything to cause his wife to sin. His mandate is to protect his wife as he would his own body.
Ephesians 5:25-29 “25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.”
Watching filth on the television is the height of disrespect and contemptuousness toward the wife. A wife does not have to obey such orders. If the husband will not listen to the counsel of his wife to restrain himself from this act of watching filth, she can count him as committing adultery through this activity. To watch filthy films is adultery and pressuring the wife to watch such films is defiance of the Word of God that commands the husband to protect his wife. These films are devastating to the delicate sensibilities of the female soul.
The example of the husband in a case like this is the opposite of what God commands to protect his cherished vessel, the wife.
The man who told me what he had counseled the tender new believer to do with her husband, called me a rebellious woman for not believing a husband should be allowed to demand his wife to sin against God.
To watch this filth was an act of adultery against his wife and the pressure for her to sin in adultery. Watching it will be judged by God severely if the man does not repent. Just like Ananais and Sapphira if the wife goes along with her husband they will both be punished.
Have we forgotten the account of Ananias and Sapphira in which the husband and the wife conspired together to lie to the Holy Spirit and they both were killed by God for it? Read Acts 5 for the whole story.
The wife is never told by God in the Word to obey a sinning husband. The Bible instructs the woman to be the keeper of her home. A job that was given to her by God, not by her husband. She is to protect her home by preventing ungodly activities from taking root within that home.
The husband is the protector of the wife and children. He is required to lead by his example as well as teach principles of God. If a man does not do this he is disobeying God.
As in the account of the three Hebrew young men in the book of Daniel, named Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who defied their authority, the king, in order to obey God. So must a woman refuse to sin against God to obey her husband. To obey the husband against God is to make the husband the god in a woman’s life.
Daniel 3:16-28
1 Timothy 2:5 “5For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,”
1 Timothy 2:5 “5For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,”
Ladies if a man refused to obey God and encourages his wife to sin against her God, this man is in rebellion and must repent. Pray for his soul that he will be convicted of his sin and you must stay true to God no matter what the consequences. One day there will be a reward for obeying God rather than man.
Do not allow the devil to get a foothold, honor your husband by caring about his wishes and needs but never accept sin or engage in it with your husband.
There are many woman who live with sinning husbands, without love and kindness, they will be rewarded one day if they obey God.
There are many woman who live with sinning husbands, without love and kindness, they will be rewarded one day if they obey God.
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