I deal continually with people who are enraged when we correct them, even to the point of calling us names.
We are not attacking their character, only addressing what they say they believe, but they are so full of themselves that they cannot stand to admit they may not be correct about something, or that someone does not fawn all over their ideas.
When we are secure in what we believe we do feel a need to become angry when someone else disagrees, we simply state our case. There is no name calling or demeaning attitude, only a discussion.
Keep looking up folks, the times is here when few will listen and most will hate us. That's alright, when we know it's coming we are less defensive and bolder.
2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.…"
Matthew 10:21-23 "…21 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved. 23 When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next. Truly I tell you, you will not reach all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.…"
Pretending something is so to make ourselves feel better is useless. Facing truth with courage brings wisdom and greater strength.
Our culture is steeped in "pretend" or as some have called it "pretense", either way it is a way of feeling better without having to be truthful.
Truth brings comfort and strength, pretend merely delays the healing and growing process.
Romans 12:9-13 "9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,[a] serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."
Genuineness brings healing from difficult situations. It is never good or right to pretend something just to manipulate your own feelings.
Often people pretend their movie idols are good people and the reverse is to pretend the righteous ones who do not like their idols are bad.
We live in a culture that now indulges in calling what is good "evil" and calling what is evil "good."
When we correct another believer according to the scriptures, we are met with anger and rebellion. They have been taught all their lives that they are the most important person in the world and all their thoughts and ideas are not wrong, but right as long as they think so.
I have met more people who are staunch about their defense of wrong thinking than those who would be steadfast about the truth of the Bible.
2 Timothy 2:14-18
An Unashamed Workman
"14 Remind them of these things, and solemnly charge them in the presence of God not to wrangle about words, which is useless and leads to the ruin of the hearers.
15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.
16 But avoid worldly and empty chatter, for it will lead to further ungodliness,
17 and their talk will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus,
18 men who have gone astray from the truth saying that the resurrection has already taken place, and they upset the faith of some."
There are many people now in the church who will fight to defend their sin, so much so that they are willing to ruin relationships with anyone who will not nod their head quietly and smile big smiles, in approval of everything they say.
Those who dare to speak the truth from the Word are treated as though they have a plague, to be avoided and gossiped about. I am quite sure that some reading this would be able to raise their hand in agreement.
O.K., so what do we do with this? It's really quite simple, speak our minds in love without guile, ignore those who want to fight and learn where they are to avoid them. We are not called to make everyone happy, only to speak truth, if others find that offensive, then we will need to find those who love to hear truth. Allow others to avoid us, do not seek after those who have clearly resisted truth.
Our prayer ought to be that one day those who left us in contempt will return born again and in a different Spirit.
The Law was given for the lawless. Without the Law, the lawless would be out of control, but it restrains their evil heart to some degree even when it does not save them. We live under grace because we have no desire in Christ within us to do wrong. There is no law needed for those who don't want to do wrong. Christ is the Law Giver Who lives in us, we have no need of the external Law. We obey His commands because we love Him.
Romans 6:14-15 "…13 Do not present the parts of your body to sin as instruments of wickedness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and present the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness. 14 For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace. 15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law, but under grace? By no means!…"
Far too many people are thinking they are being good enough they need not bother obeying God. The problem with this is that they expose their inner heart of rebellion against Him by claiming they are under grace therefore it doesn't matter if they sin.
When someone is comfortable in sin and defends or justifies it, they are probably not born again. Born again believers are convicted by their sin and quickly confess to be cleansed.
1 John 1:6 "6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth."
I don't think it could be much more clear than that.
Psalm 97:10-11 "10 Hate evil, you who love the LORD, Who preserves the souls of His godly ones; He delivers them from the hand of the wicked. 11 Light is sown like seed for the righteous And gladness for the upright in heart.…"
An excellent point
James Thornton:
"Pride is more easily manipulated than humility."
Those who are tormented by the sin in their own heart often lash out at others over small and insignificant things.
I saw a quote on facebook in past months that made a lot of sense to me, I may not get exactly right but the gist is clear.
"Some people want to believe were bad people to make themselves feel better about how they treated us."
Demeaning and mocking others serves to elevate self, distracting from their own failures and frailties. Tormented by their own wretchedness, they go into attack mode just as wild dogs who are fearful, they will attack believing there is a threat because they know they are a threat.
Many things fearful people express as sins against them are merely the disagreements or corrections of others toward them. A prideful person sees every disagreement or correction as a threat to their very being. Since their emotional stability is dependent on feeling superior to others, they are enraged when confronted with their own flaws or imperfections. It is impossible for these people to ever confess their wrong attitudes or ask forgiveness. They leave a wake of broken relationships behind them as they steam roll over anyone who dares to confront them to be able to iron out an issue or care enough to help them grow spiritually.
The narcissist would rather lose a relationship than ever admit their flaw or sin against another. This is because the narcissist bases all relationships on their sense of superiority, it is not a mutual caring, only a supply of accollades toward the narcissist, that keeps the relationship going. There is no mutual admiration from the narcissist, only their need for the admiration of others toward them.
When a person dares to regard others as friends, loving them as we would love everyone else, there is anger in the heart of the narcissist that they were not regarded as more special than everyone else in our lives.
I choose to treat everyone as special, everyone gets hugs, loves, rebukes, correction and resolution of disagreements. No one gets to be one whom is counted as doing "everything right."
I value a friend who is willing to correct me as well as engage in loving conversation. It is impossible to develop a friendship with those who have secrets and those who will regard your secrets as ammunition against you when they think it will elevate them.
There are those who cause a stiffness when they walk into the room. All the joy rushes out of the room when they enter, their demeanor of self righteousness is so enveloping it stifles creativity or personality. There is a giant sucking sound as the joy is removed from the room by these spiritual vacuum cleaners.
If sin would be confessed there would be an amazing sense of relief in one's soul. When we are bound up by our unconfessed sin, there remains only a robot working feverishly to maintain an appearance that ultimately will be dissolved at the first sign of opposition. For the narcissist opposition needs only to be the slightest disagreement or correction.
The longer one refuses to confess, indulging in justification, the harder the heart becomes, the deeper the torment and guilt.
The remedy for the torment of guilt and lies is "CONFESSION", that alone is the cure for the sin sick soul that has desperately grasped tightly their own will.
1 John 1:9 " If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Remember, this is important; we will not be cleansed if we will not confess AND, if there is no cleansing the rottenness grows.
1 Corinthians 5:7 " 7 Get rid of the old yeast, that you may be a new unleavened batch, as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed."
There are those who would practice the feast of "Unleavened Bread" as a teaching tool, to cleanse from their houses all the leaven, as a ritual, but will not cleanse from their heart the leaven of contempt and rebellion against God's Word. Ritual is not very valuable when it is merely a show to impress others.
If one chose never to observe the feast, but they went to prayer for the Lord to cleanse their heart of the leaven, they would be doing the greater thing. It is easier to pretend on the outside for the prideful person than to seek to confess before God and man for the authentic cleansing.
"Before a man can know, he must want to know"
(from a line in the series "Lark Rise to Candleford.")
