7 Signs God is Showing You Someone is a Covert Narcissist - Day 7

Narcissists Defy Boundaries

When someone does not respect your boundaries they don't respect you. It doesn't matter if they agree with or like your boundaries, they are your boundaries. Those who are loving and respect you as a person would want to please you.

This seems like a small matter but it speaks to the matter of respect and boundaries.

There was a woman who had a husband who loved to please everyone else whenever he could, the need to be completely accepted by others drove him to give others whatever they wanted most of the time.

He believed he respected his wife but others came before his wife when it came to her boundaries. I believe this because he saw her as an extension of himself rather than a separate person with needs and desires.

This woman had one desire that she was adamant about, she hated for people to take their shoes off at the door of her house when they entered the house. She didn't like the pile of shoes around the door.

The husband didn't particularly like the pile of shoes at the door but he allowed it in spite of the desire of the wife for people to leave their shoes on when entering her house.

He used the excuse that it was good hospitality to allow guests to do whatever they wanted. However, he forgot the principle that when we go to someone else's house we follow the rules of that home. We do not defy the standards and practices of that home.

There is such a thing as good hospitality, and that hospitality is according to our own customs. When we are a guest in someone else's house we do what we know would please them. Anyone who knows the custom and defies it is disrespecting that hostess.

There is such a thing as being a good guest too. When I go to someone else's home I do what they do. I have been to the homes of those who take off their shoes and I would take off mine in difference to their customs.

When we ignore the hostess and defy their custom we are showing disrespect.

If someone would not come to visit you because of your custom then perhaps we are better off not having a visit from someone who disrespects us.

When the hostess does not have the respect of her husband by not supporting her custom, then no one else will respect her either.

This same woman had trouble with her children because she would make rational and reasonable rules for the household and the husband would not support her so the children treated her with the same disrespect that her husband did.

Children will follow the leader of the home, the leader of the home is the husband whether or not he leads does not matter. His leadership is the pecking order and whatever he does the children will do too.

I get it, the shoe thing seems like a small matter, but it really isn't as much about the shoes as it is about the lack of respect toward the wife that determines the attitude of the whole household.

The woman was given the responsibility as manager of the household, and when the leader usurps her rules he is undermining the respect of the children for her.

Prov. 1:8

“My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother”

When the father ignores the rules of the mother he is actually usurping God, Who gave the woman the domain of the household.

Prov. 10:1

“A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother”

Prov. 15:20

“A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother”

Prov. 19:26.“He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach”

Prov. 23:22 “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old”.

Prov. 28:24. “Whoso robbeth his father or his mother, and saith, It is no transgression; the same is the companion of a destroyer”

Prov. 30:17.

“The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it”

Our culture thinks they can defy someone just because they disagree with them. They lack empathy and kindness, the very reason they don't care if they demonstrate respect for their wives so that the children will love and respect her.

Often we see mothers who have been demeaned and ignored by their husbands are also demeaned and ignored by their children. It really is true that "more is caught than taught."

If the children see their father rolling his eyes at his wife, then the children will learn to roll their eyes at their mother. The same is true of the mother rolling her eyes at the father.

I speak of the Father's disrespect here because I am hearing more about this from wives. Wives feel disrespected by their husbands because the husbands will not lead according to God's Word when the wives dearly need the support of their husbands when they attempt to teach the things of the Lord to the children.

Remember, the leadership role will carry more weight with God than anything else. Those husbands who will not lead according to God's Word will be accountable for not honoring their wives in a way that causes the children to honor her too.

1 Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Disregarding the wife's role as keeper of the home and the standard bearer of the household is defiance against God. It doesn't matter how small the matter may seem, the disrespect is clearly seen by others.

Any husband who will say; "your making a big deal about nothing" is the one "making a big deal about nothing." How hard is it to say respectfully, "thank you for letting me know you want it this way" and then enforce that matter with everyone else in the household?

Stinging Locust Something to Avoid

Revelation 9: 9-11 "They also had thoraxes like breastplates of iron, and the sound of their wings was like the roar of many horses and chariots rushing into battle. 10 They had tails with stingers like scorpions, which had the power to injure people for five months. 11 They were ruled by a king, the angel of the Abyss. His name in Hebrew is Abaddon, and in Greek it is Apollyon.…"

This almost seems the worst of all that goes on in the tribulation. I am convinced the Christians will not even see the devils because the devils are spiritual beings and torment is going on in the minds of the unbelievers like a bad LSD trip. A person on a bad trip can see spiders all over them and even feel the bites of the spiders but it is all going on in their own minds, no one else can see it.

I am convinced that believers will see people going crazy in pain and fear but not what is causing it.

Revelation 6:15-17 "…15 Then the kings of the earth, the nobles, the commanders, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and free man hid in the caves and among the rocks of the mountains. 16 And they said to the mountains and the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of the One seated on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb. 17 For the great day of Their wrath has come, and who is able to withstand it?”…"

The locusts were permitted to hurt "only the men who do not have the seal of God on their foreheads" (Revelation 9:4). I wonder if the "seal of God on their forehead is referring to the minds of the believers because they have the seal of the Holy Spirit and the devils cannot touch them.

The "seal of God" is the Holy Spirit and He lives invisibly in the minds of all born-again believers. No one can see Him because He is Spiritual, but people can sense Him and the devils cannot harm the believer.

It is not possible for a human being to grasp how incredibly terrible this time will be, our minds do not have the ability to imagine what we have never seen or experienced.

This wrath is the wrath of God coming upon a wicked world so they will be able to see how helpless they are without God. Only a small number of people compared to the population of the world will trust Christ, the rest will die and go to hell. This tells you just how stubborn the heart of unbelievers are, they don't even turn to God in repentance, they just continue to shake their fists at God and demand safety from Him but He will not give it.

It isn't that the people do not believe in God during this time, they know He exists, it's that they refuse to acknowledge Him as an authority in their life and that without Him they have no defense, they still want their own way.

Sadly, many Christians now are warning the world about this time of the Tribulation, but they will not listen.

2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."

We keep warning, we keep speaking and we keep obeying God in this, but we do not look for the results because we are living in times when few will listen, the results are up to God, our only job is to do what He told us to do.

Preppers Lacking Faith

For all those preppers, who are walking in fear and continually talking about it, I have good news for you.

It is important to remember that Christ knows what is coming before it comes and will tell us what to do before we even know we need it. Living in fear of what MIGHT be coming and acting on that is against what God told us to do.

Isaiah 41:10

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Luke 12:16-21

"And He told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man was very productive. And he began reasoning to himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?’ Then he said, ‘This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry.” ’ But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?’ So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”

"Storing Up" is a sign of reliance on self, not God. I am not talking about preparing for winter or natural disasters in a reasonable way. I am talking about those who spend a lot of time and money storing goods and food for many years of protection.

I heard one person who said this in a church gathering of preppers one Sunday; "be sure to store up and hide your food, and be sure to share only with Christians." The implication was that we were to use our firearms to chase off anyone who was starving and not a Christian.

I was not only appalled but had to wonder if the person who said this was even born again. If we have the fruit of the Spirit; "love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness and self-control," we could never deny anyone who was starving, even if we would have to share until it was all gone and then die together.

Since our life is nothing compared to eternity, we would share what we have with the neighbors as needed and figure out solutions together. However, if God wants us to live He would provide more as it is needed, or He would take us home, through starvation if that was His will.

Born-again believers should be thinking more with the mind of Christ far more than they think according to their natural bent, which is most often self-preservation.

Psalm 34:10

"The young lions do lack and suffer hunger;

But they who seek the Lord shall not be in want of any good thing."

If we have need of food God will provide it unless He wants us home with Him then He will provide the emotional and spiritual strength to starve if it is His will to take us home.

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Correction and Warning is Required by God

Someone once told me we are not to correct others about their sin. Clearly, this person did not know their Bible and thought it was unkind or unfriendly to chastise someone.

Let's let the Bible, the Word of God, speak to this matter.

Ezekiel 33:5-6 "…5 Since he heard the sound of the horn but failed to heed the warning, his blood will be on his own head. If he had heeded the warning, he would have saved his life. 6 But if the watchman sees the sword coming and fails to blow the horn to warn the people, and the sword comes and takes away a life, then that one will be taken away in his iniquity, but I will hold the watchman accountable for his blood.’"

The Time of Jacob's Trouble

As His children, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit, the Promise of our secure salvation.

Ephesians 1:13 "13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, 14 Which is the promise of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory. "

Israel is a picture of the born-again believer. When Israel will be brought back to Christ in the tribulation the entire nation will trust in Christ. They then will be the nation that brings the gospel to the rest of the world. The book of Isaiah prophesies this, a glorious picture of the believer's life before the tribulation. The prophecy shows that God is the same God, has only left Israel for a time and will come back to her at the end of the age.

The tribulation is called the time of Jacob's trouble. Jacob is a reference to Israel. God will discipline Israel one last time to cause her to return to Him. 2/3rds of the people will be destroyed and the remaining 1/3rd will trust in Christ and that is when the 144,000 Jews will take the gospel to the rest of the world, from the 12 tribes of Israel.

We are the ones grafted into Israel not the other way around. Israel was cut off for a time to make them jealous and one day soon they will come back as a nation. The only nation of the world that has ever been or ever will be completely Christian.

Romans 11:11-31

11 I say then, they did not stumble so as to fall, did they? Far from it! But by their wrongdoing salvation has come to the Gentiles, to make them jealous.

12 Now if their wrongdoing proves to be riches for the world, and their failure, riches for the Gentiles, how much more will their fulfillment be!

13 But I am speaking to you who are Gentiles. Therefore insofar as I am an apostle of Gentiles, I magnify my ministry

14 if somehow I may move my own people to jealousy and save some of them.

15 For if their rejection proves to be the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead?

16 If the first piece of dough is holy, the lump is also; and if the root is holy, the branches are as well.

17 But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, being a wild olive, were grafted in among them and became partaker with them of the rich root of the olive tree,

18 do not be arrogant toward the branches; but if you are arrogant, remember that it is not you who supports the root, but the root supports you.

19 You will say then, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.”

20 Quite right, they were broken off for their unbelief, but you stand by your faith. Do not be conceited, but fear;

21 for if God did not spare the natural branches, He will not spare you, either.

22 See then the kindness and severity of God: to those who fell, severity, but to you, God’s kindness, if you continue in His kindness; for otherwise you too will be cut off.

23 And they also, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in; for God is able to graft them in again.

24 For if you were cut off from what is by nature a wild olive tree, and contrary to nature were grafted into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these who are the natural branches be grafted into their own olive tree?"

Isaiah 62:4

"4 It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken," Nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate "; But you will be called, "My delight is in her," And your land, "Married "; For the LORD delights in you, And to Him your land will be married."

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