" We define others by the questions we choose to ask and the answers we choose to believe" (a quote from someone else.)
Sunday, April 20, 2025
Rude People are Full of Hate
Rude people want us to either fear them or fight with them. When we show them the respect they didn't show us, we avoid becoming like them.
1 Peter 3:8-10 "8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tenderhearted and humble.
9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."
1 Peter 3:8-10 "8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tenderhearted and humble.
9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."
Those Who Follow Christ Walk Alone A Lot
As you become more filled with the Holy Spirit every day, do you find yourself disagreeing with and even being grieved by what most people who call themselves Christians are doing and saying?
I DO!!!!!!!
I DO!!!!!!!
Building Character is Better than Just Getting a Job Done
I once heard a psychologist teach an aggravated mother how to train her child to do things that needed to be done.
The psychologist told the young woman to get her to do her chores; she needed to manipulate her child to think it was her own idea so that she would willingly do her chores.
As I pondered this idea, it seemed to make sense until I realized from scripture that we are to train our children to obey rather than appealing to the stubbornness of their children.
Then God spoke to me and told me that if a mother manipulates the child to cause them to want to do their chores, she is training her child that he doesn't have to do anything they don't want to do.
See how clever the devil is? What sounded like a good idea was against God's way and trains a child according to their own selfishness, to think they didn't have to obey anyone unless they wanted to do it.
Sadly, making a child believe it was their own idea does get the job done, but it trains the child to resist obeying someone when they don't want to do something.
Life is all about obedience, either to parents, employers, or God. Often, we have to do things we don't like because it is better for the people around us if we are helpful, even when it is unpleasant.
Life is not just about accomplishing something; it matters that we think more of our effect on our companions and the success of the team than our own personal desires.
One of the reasons for the dissolution of marriage and the increase in selfish attitudes in children is the modern tendency to teach children to please themselves instead of thinking of the welfare of the community around them.
Philippians 2:3 "
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves;"
When an entire culture is taught to "think of themselves first" jobs may get done, but the attitude that got it done damages others around them. These self-absorbed children walk away with greater pride than if they had worked with others, developing relationships instead of self-exaltation, having nothing to do with others.
God is all about relationships more than any other thing! He wants us to have a relationship with Him, and the only way to do that is to value His principles and commands.
Those who only value their own things and desires are never helpful to others in their trials, or are phony in their actions to help others. These are those who do their acts to enhance self without authentic concern for those they help. They even do this with God, to be praised instead of God.
Matthew 15:7-9 "…7You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8‘These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’ "
I have known many people in my life who resisted out of jealousy engaging in the joys of others because doing so would enhance the person rather than elevate the jealous party.
Teaching a child by example of selfishness does more to ruin a child than actual words.
Manipulation is not a godly tactic in training children. Straight talk and authenticity is the way of God.
To manipulate a child to do what they should do by making them think it is their own idea merely solidifies their stubborn nature to use and abuse others to their own glory and woefully deadens their consideration of others.
Philippians 2:2-4 "… 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being united in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.…"
As born-again believers, we should be training our children to obey because of love for others rather than to seek only their own ideas and desires.
As we can see from this example from psychology, many things that are being taught now in relationships sound so good, but are devastating to the character of children raised to only do what they want to do.
More than ever, now we are seeing young people argue with their bosses, disrespect authority,y and spurn wisdom because they don't believe they should have to do anything uncomfortable or that is not their own idea.
Another principle we can add here is that when a child will only do what is their own idea, they will never accept differences in people, the way God made them. They will expect others to be and act the way the child wants them to, rather than treating all people with honor and respect.
When others have different ideas from others, they will disrespect and punish those who are not just like them. They will even see compliance out of love as weakness.
In the culture I was raised in, many people treated with contempt those who were loving and compliant viewing them as feeble and fragile, justifying in the prideful child's mind to mock and demean anyone who is compliant to be an asset to others.
This is where we get the modern term, "suck up", describing someone who values the desires of others above their own.
Those who love to work with someone without the need to be seen as special or superior will not be respected in our culture. Those who are rude and bombastic are seen as strong, when the opposite is the truth.
Those who can defer to others to enhance the life of someone else are the stronger ones. Those who are weak must assert themselves prop-up their fragile ego, or they will be without any character at all. So, they develop a character that is completely self-absorbed and useless to those around them.
Those who will only do what they want according to their own will are never helpful unless is elevates them as special.
The most confident and kindly people are those who do their good deeds to please God and have no concern whether or not anyone else sees or praises them for it.
Matthew 6:1-2 "… 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being united in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
When we are trained God's way to require children to obey so they learn to do things they don't particularly like but that pleases God, they will learn to obey God to bless Him and others without any concern about their own desires.
Our culture has lost its morals, completely steeped in self-esteem teaching that appeals to the baser nature, the very reason it is so popular. We can see the cleverness of the devil making a wicked thing sound good and kind while undermining the principles of God that shape the character of people into assets to the community in which they live.
Our families are not just relatives we live with, they are communities that teach good or bad that shape a child's character for a lifetime.
This life is not just about getting a job done, or building wants and desires fulfilled in individuals. The character of a person is far more important than getting a job accomplished or making a person feel pride in themselves.
There can be no humility in someone who only does something because they want it. Humility is shaped by teaching a child to do what should be done, whether or not it is comfortable or self-enhancing.
God created us as human beings to be more satisfied with relationship development and spiritual and emotional connection to others and to Him than He was about "getting a job done."
When we operate God's way we will get the job done better when we work well with others, make others more important than ourselves and seek to bring about success because of the group.
Those who are loners and will not cooperate with others will always cause problems because life is mostly made up of tasks that require us to operate cooperatively with others. No one needs to have the glory for a job all by themselves; what we need to be whole and satisfied is to see the cooperation of the group succeed. No one person gets all the glory, all the people work together, feel joy and accomplishment together, this is the design of God, and creates lovely bonds with others.
Those who operate independently of others miss the joy and companionship that comes from working together for the greater good. I feel sorry for those who will not work with others and who will not allow others to work with them; they are missing so much in life and will not have the stories to tell at the end of their life.
Those who work alone and will not work with others can only boast about themselves. I cannot tell you how boring it is to listen to those who brag about themselves and how joyful it is to hear stories when everyone is sharing together their accomplishment as a group.
It would take a book to describe all the ways psychology has ruined the hearts of many people through good-sounding ideas that were against God's principles.
When we interpret the Bible according to our culture, we are going to get it wrong almost every time in almost everything. When the culture is deeply steeped in human enhancement, it will abhor the ways of God while ruining their own hearts.
God hates gifts that are given to manipulate Him into accepting their glorification of man.
Isaiah 1:11-15
“What good to Me is your multitude of sacrifices?” says the LORD. “I am full from the burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed cattle; I take no delight in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. / When you come to appear before Me, who has required this of you—this trampling of My courts? / Bring your worthless offerings no more; your incense is detestable to Me. New Moons, Sabbaths, and convocations—I cannot endure iniquity in a solemn assembly."
No one enjoys a gift given or a kind act extended that comes with selfish strings attached.
The psychologist told the young woman to get her to do her chores; she needed to manipulate her child to think it was her own idea so that she would willingly do her chores.
As I pondered this idea, it seemed to make sense until I realized from scripture that we are to train our children to obey rather than appealing to the stubbornness of their children.
Then God spoke to me and told me that if a mother manipulates the child to cause them to want to do their chores, she is training her child that he doesn't have to do anything they don't want to do.
See how clever the devil is? What sounded like a good idea was against God's way and trains a child according to their own selfishness, to think they didn't have to obey anyone unless they wanted to do it.
Sadly, making a child believe it was their own idea does get the job done, but it trains the child to resist obeying someone when they don't want to do something.
Life is all about obedience, either to parents, employers, or God. Often, we have to do things we don't like because it is better for the people around us if we are helpful, even when it is unpleasant.
Life is not just about accomplishing something; it matters that we think more of our effect on our companions and the success of the team than our own personal desires.
One of the reasons for the dissolution of marriage and the increase in selfish attitudes in children is the modern tendency to teach children to please themselves instead of thinking of the welfare of the community around them.
Philippians 2:3 "
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves;"
When an entire culture is taught to "think of themselves first" jobs may get done, but the attitude that got it done damages others around them. These self-absorbed children walk away with greater pride than if they had worked with others, developing relationships instead of self-exaltation, having nothing to do with others.
God is all about relationships more than any other thing! He wants us to have a relationship with Him, and the only way to do that is to value His principles and commands.
Those who only value their own things and desires are never helpful to others in their trials, or are phony in their actions to help others. These are those who do their acts to enhance self without authentic concern for those they help. They even do this with God, to be praised instead of God.
Matthew 15:7-9 "…7You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8‘These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’ "
I have known many people in my life who resisted out of jealousy engaging in the joys of others because doing so would enhance the person rather than elevate the jealous party.
Teaching a child by example of selfishness does more to ruin a child than actual words.
Manipulation is not a godly tactic in training children. Straight talk and authenticity is the way of God.
To manipulate a child to do what they should do by making them think it is their own idea merely solidifies their stubborn nature to use and abuse others to their own glory and woefully deadens their consideration of others.
Philippians 2:2-4 "… 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being united in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.…"
As born-again believers, we should be training our children to obey because of love for others rather than to seek only their own ideas and desires.
As we can see from this example from psychology, many things that are being taught now in relationships sound so good, but are devastating to the character of children raised to only do what they want to do.
More than ever, now we are seeing young people argue with their bosses, disrespect authority,y and spurn wisdom because they don't believe they should have to do anything uncomfortable or that is not their own idea.
Another principle we can add here is that when a child will only do what is their own idea, they will never accept differences in people, the way God made them. They will expect others to be and act the way the child wants them to, rather than treating all people with honor and respect.
When others have different ideas from others, they will disrespect and punish those who are not just like them. They will even see compliance out of love as weakness.
In the culture I was raised in, many people treated with contempt those who were loving and compliant viewing them as feeble and fragile, justifying in the prideful child's mind to mock and demean anyone who is compliant to be an asset to others.
This is where we get the modern term, "suck up", describing someone who values the desires of others above their own.
Those who love to work with someone without the need to be seen as special or superior will not be respected in our culture. Those who are rude and bombastic are seen as strong, when the opposite is the truth.
Those who can defer to others to enhance the life of someone else are the stronger ones. Those who are weak must assert themselves prop-up their fragile ego, or they will be without any character at all. So, they develop a character that is completely self-absorbed and useless to those around them.
Those who will only do what they want according to their own will are never helpful unless is elevates them as special.
The most confident and kindly people are those who do their good deeds to please God and have no concern whether or not anyone else sees or praises them for it.
Matthew 6:1-2 "… 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being united in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
When we are trained God's way to require children to obey so they learn to do things they don't particularly like but that pleases God, they will learn to obey God to bless Him and others without any concern about their own desires.
Our culture has lost its morals, completely steeped in self-esteem teaching that appeals to the baser nature, the very reason it is so popular. We can see the cleverness of the devil making a wicked thing sound good and kind while undermining the principles of God that shape the character of people into assets to the community in which they live.
Our families are not just relatives we live with, they are communities that teach good or bad that shape a child's character for a lifetime.
This life is not just about getting a job done, or building wants and desires fulfilled in individuals. The character of a person is far more important than getting a job accomplished or making a person feel pride in themselves.
There can be no humility in someone who only does something because they want it. Humility is shaped by teaching a child to do what should be done, whether or not it is comfortable or self-enhancing.
God created us as human beings to be more satisfied with relationship development and spiritual and emotional connection to others and to Him than He was about "getting a job done."
When we operate God's way we will get the job done better when we work well with others, make others more important than ourselves and seek to bring about success because of the group.
Those who are loners and will not cooperate with others will always cause problems because life is mostly made up of tasks that require us to operate cooperatively with others. No one needs to have the glory for a job all by themselves; what we need to be whole and satisfied is to see the cooperation of the group succeed. No one person gets all the glory, all the people work together, feel joy and accomplishment together, this is the design of God, and creates lovely bonds with others.
Those who operate independently of others miss the joy and companionship that comes from working together for the greater good. I feel sorry for those who will not work with others and who will not allow others to work with them; they are missing so much in life and will not have the stories to tell at the end of their life.
Those who work alone and will not work with others can only boast about themselves. I cannot tell you how boring it is to listen to those who brag about themselves and how joyful it is to hear stories when everyone is sharing together their accomplishment as a group.
It would take a book to describe all the ways psychology has ruined the hearts of many people through good-sounding ideas that were against God's principles.
When we interpret the Bible according to our culture, we are going to get it wrong almost every time in almost everything. When the culture is deeply steeped in human enhancement, it will abhor the ways of God while ruining their own hearts.
God hates gifts that are given to manipulate Him into accepting their glorification of man.
Isaiah 1:11-15
“What good to Me is your multitude of sacrifices?” says the LORD. “I am full from the burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed cattle; I take no delight in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. / When you come to appear before Me, who has required this of you—this trampling of My courts? / Bring your worthless offerings no more; your incense is detestable to Me. New Moons, Sabbaths, and convocations—I cannot endure iniquity in a solemn assembly."
No one enjoys a gift given or a kind act extended that comes with selfish strings attached.
Saturday, April 19, 2025
Authentically Born Again Believers Do Not Fall Away
Those who "go away" from God were never His in the first place. They only had an appearance of godliness, and when it became too tiresome to live for God in their own effort, they fell away.
1 John 2:19
"19 They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, so that it would be evident that they all are not of us."
When we have been changed by Christ into a new creation, the old things are gone and we have become brand new. When Christ changes someone, they do not want to change back; they are eternally saved.
God does not throw away the believer who sins, but He does discipline them to come back to obedience.
Job 5:17
Blessed indeed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.
2 Corinthians 13:5 "5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Can’t you see for yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you— unless you actually fail the test? "
Many people who decided to join the Christian club to feel safe and even good about themselves were never changed by Christ because they didn't put their trust in Him, they trusted in themselves in their own strength to do what they knew was right, but their hearts were never changed because they wanted to do it themselves. These are the people who often misinterpret scripture because they are not seeking Christ they are using the scripture to justify their own thinking.
Matthew 7:21-23
I Never Knew You
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"
It does not say I knew you and you changed your mind and walked away, it says "I NEVER KNEW YOU. "Christ did not do the changing so those who attempted to change themselves, proud of how good they thought they were, had no relationship with Christ.
Hebrews 12:5-7 "…5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not take lightly the discipline of the Lord, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises every son He receives.” 7 Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?…"
1 John 2:19
"19 They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, so that it would be evident that they all are not of us."
When we have been changed by Christ into a new creation, the old things are gone and we have become brand new. When Christ changes someone, they do not want to change back; they are eternally saved.
God does not throw away the believer who sins, but He does discipline them to come back to obedience.
Job 5:17
Blessed indeed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.
2 Corinthians 13:5 "5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Can’t you see for yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you— unless you actually fail the test? "
Many people who decided to join the Christian club to feel safe and even good about themselves were never changed by Christ because they didn't put their trust in Him, they trusted in themselves in their own strength to do what they knew was right, but their hearts were never changed because they wanted to do it themselves. These are the people who often misinterpret scripture because they are not seeking Christ they are using the scripture to justify their own thinking.
Matthew 7:21-23
I Never Knew You
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"
It does not say I knew you and you changed your mind and walked away, it says "I NEVER KNEW YOU. "Christ did not do the changing so those who attempted to change themselves, proud of how good they thought they were, had no relationship with Christ.
Hebrews 12:5-7 "…5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not take lightly the discipline of the Lord, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises every son He receives.” 7 Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?…"
Only One Day a Year to Honor?
Sometimes, as I ponder a subject, thinking about all its nuances, the light bulb goes on, and I realize something about that matter that I don't hear anyone else talking or writing about.
This time, as I pondered my dislike for birthday celebrations for me, it occurred to me why I dislike them for myself.
I see no mention in the Bible of people throwing parties for birthdays, that alone does not make it questionable, however, as I considered the whole matter of birthdays I realized that they began back in Egypt in the ancient cultures to celebrate the day of the birth of a pharaoh as he was corronated as a leader into godhood.
Many cultures of the world do not celebrate the day of someone's birth as do Americans.
When I was a child, I waited anxiously for the day to come for my birthday because it meant cake and presents. There were no deeper thoughts than what I would get out of it for one day a year. When I grew up, I began asking the question, "Why do we do this?", The answer that came back from people was that they wanted to honor the person, letting them know they were glad they were born. O.K., that sounds nice, but it still didn't convince me it was something to do for that reason alone.
1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I reasoned as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things"
As an adult and later a Christian, I had no desire to be the center of attention, having a special day just for me; in fact, I found it embarrassing.
As I reflected on the matter of birthdays, I saw some things that didn't make sense to me. Wouldn't it be better to treat people with love, kindness, and respect all year, all the time, instead of the whole birthday celebration thing once a year? Some people we only hear from once a year on that day.
Often, I have seen family members wish you a happy birthday but are unkind, unloving, and rude the rest of the year. This didn't make sense to me because if they were really glad we were born, then wouldn't they be kind, loving, and respectful all the rest of the days of the year? Many are not even kind and loving on that celebration day; they force us into compliance with their plans without consulting us, and act angry if we don't do what they want.
That one day a year of birthday celebration can be a burden when the rest of the year has been so strenuous and heavy with disregard.
Then the Lord showed me why this simple and seemingly innocent day of celebration was questionable to me.
When someone who has been unkind most of the year suddenly on your birthday they are all smiles, gifts, and cake on your birthday, the celebration feels heavy and phony.
Matthew 15:7-9 "…7 You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8‘These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9 They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’ ”
Then God showed me this: when someone surprises you with a party on your birthday, you are obligated to fawn over the person who gives it, or you are seen as rude. Even if you don't like birthdays and would rather it be just another day, you are still expected to go along with what the others want for you on that day.
In fact, it has been my experience that it is futile to ask people not to bother with your birthday because they're so convinced you must have a celebration that you become the rude one for wanting to ignore your own day of birth. So, our birthday becomes not about us at all, but about those who want to have a party.
In my opinion, a valid one at that, if our birthday were about us, shouldn't we be consulted as to whether or not we have a celebration? Just saying!
I am convinced, based on what I have seen, that a "surprise birthday party" does not allow the person with a birthday a decision; the one planning the party disregards the feelings of the one they are supposedly honoring. To surprise someone is to force them into compliance without a choice, so it really isn't about honoring them, or there would be no celebration for those who don't want one.
Birthday celebrations are so much a part of our American culture that most people cannot understand, nor do they accept someone who does not want a celebration for themselves on their birthday. In fact, people are not taken seriously when they say, "Please don't do anything for my birthday."
The greeting card industry has managed to make people feel guilty if they don't send a card on the holidays. What an ingenious scam. Create a holiday that requires us to comply to cultural mandates to send a card and become wealthy over it.
Here is one example of cultural pressure to conform to others while claiming to honor us.
I have no problem with people having birthday celebrations if they want one, and I will even attend a birthday gathering for others when invited. But to foist our own desire for a party onto the one who does not want one is not about love or kindness; it is about pleasing the one who wants to be the center of attention for throwing the party.
On Facebook, I enjoy every day, the companionship of lovely believers who edify one another in Christ. I need nothing more than that in my life to give me a sense of belonging and purpose.
The day of our birth was significant, but the rest of our lives are much more significant.
Traditions of men are burdensome to those who wish not to participate.
Isaiah 1:11-15
“What good to Me is your multitude of sacrifices?” says the LORD. “I am full from the burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed cattle; I take no delight in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. / When you come to appear before Me, who has required this of you—this trampling of My courts? / Bring your worthless offerings no more; your incense is detestable to Me. New Moons, Sabbaths, and convocations—I cannot endure iniquity in a solemn assembly."
The Lord was not pleased with those who pretended to love Him in words and man's traditions but cared nothing for Him otherwise.
Those who throw surprise parties do it to be in control of the one who does not want a birthday celebration. They want the glory for giving the party without regard to the desires of the one they are supposedly honoring. There is no honor in being forced into a celebration for yourself that you never wanted. And, to top it all off, we are seen as the rude ones who don't want a party for ourselves; it just doesn't make any sense at all.
I am one of those people who want everything I do to have a Biblical purpose, and most human celebrations have little purpose except to bring glory to man.
Mark 7:1-22
Traditions and Commandments
7 Now when the Pharisees gathered to him, with some of the scribes who had come from Jerusalem,
2 they saw that some of his disciples ate with hands that were defiled, that is, unwashed.
3 (For the Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they wash their hands properly, holding to the tradition of the elders,
4 and when they come from the marketplace, they do not eat unless they wash. And there are many other traditions that they observe, such as the washing of cups and pots and copper vessels and dining couches.
5 And the Pharisees and the scribes asked him, “Why do your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat with defiled hands?”
6 And he said to them, “Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written,
“‘This people honors me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me;
7 in vain do they worship me,
teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’"
So the conclusion of the matter for me is that if we want to honor someone, we would do what pleases them, even if it goes against the expected traditions of others. And, honor, love and kindness should be how we treat someone all year long.
If I were to choose to celebrate the day of my birth with someone, it would be those who treat me with love, kindness, and respect all the rest of the year, not those who use that one day a year to alleviate their own guilt for their dishonor all the rest of the year.
I think God must feel that way, too, when people claim to be honoring Him but disregard His principles and commands all the rest of the year.
Why do we do things? This is the important question for all matters.
This time, as I pondered my dislike for birthday celebrations for me, it occurred to me why I dislike them for myself.
I see no mention in the Bible of people throwing parties for birthdays, that alone does not make it questionable, however, as I considered the whole matter of birthdays I realized that they began back in Egypt in the ancient cultures to celebrate the day of the birth of a pharaoh as he was corronated as a leader into godhood.
Many cultures of the world do not celebrate the day of someone's birth as do Americans.
When I was a child, I waited anxiously for the day to come for my birthday because it meant cake and presents. There were no deeper thoughts than what I would get out of it for one day a year. When I grew up, I began asking the question, "Why do we do this?", The answer that came back from people was that they wanted to honor the person, letting them know they were glad they were born. O.K., that sounds nice, but it still didn't convince me it was something to do for that reason alone.
1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I reasoned as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things"
As an adult and later a Christian, I had no desire to be the center of attention, having a special day just for me; in fact, I found it embarrassing.
As I reflected on the matter of birthdays, I saw some things that didn't make sense to me. Wouldn't it be better to treat people with love, kindness, and respect all year, all the time, instead of the whole birthday celebration thing once a year? Some people we only hear from once a year on that day.
Often, I have seen family members wish you a happy birthday but are unkind, unloving, and rude the rest of the year. This didn't make sense to me because if they were really glad we were born, then wouldn't they be kind, loving, and respectful all the rest of the days of the year? Many are not even kind and loving on that celebration day; they force us into compliance with their plans without consulting us, and act angry if we don't do what they want.
That one day a year of birthday celebration can be a burden when the rest of the year has been so strenuous and heavy with disregard.
Then the Lord showed me why this simple and seemingly innocent day of celebration was questionable to me.
When someone who has been unkind most of the year suddenly on your birthday they are all smiles, gifts, and cake on your birthday, the celebration feels heavy and phony.
Matthew 15:7-9 "…7 You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8‘These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9 They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’ ”
Then God showed me this: when someone surprises you with a party on your birthday, you are obligated to fawn over the person who gives it, or you are seen as rude. Even if you don't like birthdays and would rather it be just another day, you are still expected to go along with what the others want for you on that day.
In fact, it has been my experience that it is futile to ask people not to bother with your birthday because they're so convinced you must have a celebration that you become the rude one for wanting to ignore your own day of birth. So, our birthday becomes not about us at all, but about those who want to have a party.
In my opinion, a valid one at that, if our birthday were about us, shouldn't we be consulted as to whether or not we have a celebration? Just saying!
I am convinced, based on what I have seen, that a "surprise birthday party" does not allow the person with a birthday a decision; the one planning the party disregards the feelings of the one they are supposedly honoring. To surprise someone is to force them into compliance without a choice, so it really isn't about honoring them, or there would be no celebration for those who don't want one.
Birthday celebrations are so much a part of our American culture that most people cannot understand, nor do they accept someone who does not want a celebration for themselves on their birthday. In fact, people are not taken seriously when they say, "Please don't do anything for my birthday."
The greeting card industry has managed to make people feel guilty if they don't send a card on the holidays. What an ingenious scam. Create a holiday that requires us to comply to cultural mandates to send a card and become wealthy over it.
Here is one example of cultural pressure to conform to others while claiming to honor us.
I have no problem with people having birthday celebrations if they want one, and I will even attend a birthday gathering for others when invited. But to foist our own desire for a party onto the one who does not want one is not about love or kindness; it is about pleasing the one who wants to be the center of attention for throwing the party.
On Facebook, I enjoy every day, the companionship of lovely believers who edify one another in Christ. I need nothing more than that in my life to give me a sense of belonging and purpose.
The day of our birth was significant, but the rest of our lives are much more significant.
Traditions of men are burdensome to those who wish not to participate.
Isaiah 1:11-15
“What good to Me is your multitude of sacrifices?” says the LORD. “I am full from the burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed cattle; I take no delight in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. / When you come to appear before Me, who has required this of you—this trampling of My courts? / Bring your worthless offerings no more; your incense is detestable to Me. New Moons, Sabbaths, and convocations—I cannot endure iniquity in a solemn assembly."
The Lord was not pleased with those who pretended to love Him in words and man's traditions but cared nothing for Him otherwise.
Those who throw surprise parties do it to be in control of the one who does not want a birthday celebration. They want the glory for giving the party without regard to the desires of the one they are supposedly honoring. There is no honor in being forced into a celebration for yourself that you never wanted. And, to top it all off, we are seen as the rude ones who don't want a party for ourselves; it just doesn't make any sense at all.
I am one of those people who want everything I do to have a Biblical purpose, and most human celebrations have little purpose except to bring glory to man.
Mark 7:1-22
Traditions and Commandments
7 Now when the Pharisees gathered to him, with some of the scribes who had come from Jerusalem,
2 they saw that some of his disciples ate with hands that were defiled, that is, unwashed.
3 (For the Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they wash their hands properly, holding to the tradition of the elders,
4 and when they come from the marketplace, they do not eat unless they wash. And there are many other traditions that they observe, such as the washing of cups and pots and copper vessels and dining couches.
5 And the Pharisees and the scribes asked him, “Why do your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat with defiled hands?”
6 And he said to them, “Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written,
“‘This people honors me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me;
7 in vain do they worship me,
teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’"
So the conclusion of the matter for me is that if we want to honor someone, we would do what pleases them, even if it goes against the expected traditions of others. And, honor, love and kindness should be how we treat someone all year long.
If I were to choose to celebrate the day of my birth with someone, it would be those who treat me with love, kindness, and respect all the rest of the year, not those who use that one day a year to alleviate their own guilt for their dishonor all the rest of the year.
I think God must feel that way, too, when people claim to be honoring Him but disregard His principles and commands all the rest of the year.
Why do we do things? This is the important question for all matters.
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