The Mother Matters

http://www.desiringgod.org/sermons/do-not-forsake-your-mothers-teaching

Proverbs 15:20
"20 A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother."

Proverbs 6:20
"My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:"

Proverbs 19:26
"He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach."

Hospitality Is Important

Hospitality is more than actions that we take, it is also an attitude that we have. When we love others we care about their personal comfort and their emotional and spiritual well being.

If we love, we are careful not to do things in the presence of another that might be offensive to them, whether it be a movie, a type of food they abstain from or language that would offend them. We do not show displeasure at their presence by ignoring them while they are in the room.

Part of hospitality is knowing the person we are serving, if it is a stranger we are careful to act in ways that are generally accepted as gentile, free from crude speech or action and especially free from confrontation over things that do not matter.


Ephesians 4:29 "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear."

Showing our delight in the visit of our guest, is one of the ways we accept them, that gives them a sense that they are welcome in our home. When there is aloofness, shyness or dismissiveness, we make the guest feel as though we are a burden.

A part of hospitality is learning to be a good guest. If a host has worked to make a beautiful table and delicious food, we don't say things like "why did you make such a fuss," Rather we say "thank you so much, this is lovely." To mock the decorations or negate them in any way is a way for a narcissist to diminish the person who decorated the beautiful table and made the wonderful food. It is a form of not only ungratefulness but also a way of stripping the host of her delight in serving. The purpose in this is to hurt the host, removing her joy in preparing for her guests.

The reason to write about this in a culture that no longer understands these principles, is because we are seeing hospitality diminishing in this culture of selfishness but we can be the examples. We cannot get our guests to act as they should but we can continue to obey God in being hospitable no matter what our guests do. If we are a guest, we will not always encounter hosts who act as they should but we can be a good guest. We will never be disappointed when we obey God, even if others do not act as they should.

Without Hospitality We Cannot Please God

Not that long ago it was considered rude to neglect to offer refreshment to a stranger when they found themselves at our home. It was also an offense for the stranger to refuse refreshment when offered.

An old expression of this was: "don't ask and don't refuse", was the rule of thumb pertaining to hospitality. The one who offered was showing gratefulness for the visit and the one accepting was showing gratefulness for being accepted as a visitor.

Refreshment was a way of welcoming those that entered our home, to refuse the refreshment was insulting, a sort of rejection of the hospitality showed arrogance.


We live in a time when many people do not offer hospitality to their extended family let alone to total strangers. We also live in a time when most people don't feel an obligation to anyone who is not closely connected to them through family. They show their disinterest in us through their lack of enthusiasm for the visit.

Hospitality has always been important in God's economy. He highly values kindness extended to those who came to call, no matter who they were. To neglect this kindness is the same as saying, "I don't care about you and I have no interest in your visit, on the part of the host or the visitor.

1 Peter 4:9 "Be hospitable to one another without complaint."

Romans 12:12-13 "12 rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, 13 contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality."

1 Timothy 3:2 "An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,"

Titus 1:7-8 "7 For the [a]overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, 8 but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled,"

1 Timothy 5:10 "having a reputation for good works; and if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work."

Hebrews 13:2 "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it."

We see by these verses that God commands us to place others above ourselves, denying self is the greater part of the Christian life, without it we would never do what we should do, be what we should be in the sight of God.

America Deserves Judgment Not Blessing

Remember when we trusted in our country? We said the pledge of allegiance every morning in school. We watched our soldiers march in the parades with a very large and looming American flag at the front of the procession.

We sang beautiful songs that told of the greatness of our nation, while using phrases like "my country right or wrong." We signed petitions to get our leaders to pay attention to us when we wanted a law changed and voted in every election. Our confidence in the nation was unshakable.

When our men went off to war, we hailed them, prayed for them and regaled our families with stories of how powerful we were and that no one could defeat us, we were Americans, living in the most powerful nation in the world. Not only were we able to protect ourselves, but we protected other nations around the world, liberating them from evil armies. When we conquered the countries taken by Hitler in WWII, we gave them back to their own people rather than assimilating them into our country.

We have been very proud of our own accomplishments. We have fought many battles and won all the wars we fought in, never having had an invasion or experienced a takeover by any military regime. We were confident that no one could invade us, because our shores were well protected.

Perhaps we have been too proud, too self reliant and far too indulgent. We said our faith was in God, it has even been written on our money, but in reality our faith was in our own military might and ability to develop our own economy.

God blessed our nation, there is no doubt about that. I believe He wanted us to see what would happen when we began to trust in our wealth and our might, arrogantly thinking it was ourselves that made it all happen.

As we became more affluent and powerful, we used God, expecting Him to protect us even when we had no real desire to know Him. We said "God bless America", while murdering babies, robbing the hard worker to give to the lazy, protecting those who deal in filthy reading material, divorce and remarriage, an entertainment industry that champions iniquity while promoting complete and total freedom to do so and much more sin. As we abound in every kind of sin, we teach our children not to speak out against it through mantra's like "don't judge."

1 Timothy 6:17 "Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy."

The scripture in Isaiah 29 describes us as a nation.

Isaiah 29:13 "Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men:"

We proclaimed often that God was on our side, but forgot to be on His. We became a nation of people who felt entitled to the protection and blessings of God without considering gratefulness to Him. We have not been compelled to seek Him or seek to obey His principles, desiring merely to have an appearance of righteousness while defying Him often, we continued to walk in our own ways.

2 Timothy 3:5 "Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away."

Our freedom has become our god, above all else, it is that obsession with freedom that has led us to every form of debauchery imaginable. When a nation begins to kill its' young without conscience over these horrific murders, while endorsing the basest form of sexual immorality, we can no longer expect God to help us. When freedom becomes the freedom to act as contemptibly as we please, then we have lost the nation entirely.

Our children are indulged, arrogant, disrespectful and everything else mentioned in 2 Timothy 3. Unless Christ gets into the hearts of our children, this country will continue to decline and in ways we never imagined.

God has given us over to our debased minds as a country, while punishing us with depraved, wicked men who lack empathy or kindness of any sort, to be the leaders of our country. There is much corruption in every state government and in the capitol of this nation too.

Then only solution to this mess, is for each individual to repent and begin to seek Christ to be changed into a new creation by Him.

2 Corinthians 5:16-21 "16 Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer.

17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

18 Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,

19 namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has [j]committed to us the word of reconciliation.

20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."

Psalm 119:41-48

"41 May Your lovingkindnesses also come to me, O Lord, Your salvation according to Your word;
42 So I will have an answer for him who reproaches me, For I trust in Your word.
43 And do not take the word of truth utterly out of my mouth, For I wait for Your ordinances.
44 So I will keep Your law continually, Forever and ever.
45 And I will walk at liberty, For I seek Your precepts.
46 I will also speak of Your testimonies before kings And shall not be ashamed.
47 I shall delight in Your commandments, Which I love.
48 And I shall lift up my hands to Your commandments, Which I love; And I will meditate on Your statutes."

God's Precepts are Preferred

Psalm 119:65-72

"65 Thou hast dealt well with thy servant, O Lord, according unto thy word.

66 Teach me good judgment and knowledge: for I have believed thy commandments.

67 Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.

68 Thou art good, and doest good; teach me thy statutes.

69 The proud have forged a lie against me: but I will keep thy precepts with my whole heart.

70 Their heart is as fat as grease; but I delight in thy law.

71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

72 The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver."

Spank the Perp and Comfort the Victim

Our narcissistic modern world wants us to keep everything a secret, after all narcissists know what they do and say is evil, so they cloak it in covert language to hide it from onlookers while knowing that their target will understand. Evil people count on good people being sensitive to gossip, using this intimidation to keep their secrets.

The best way to stop the mouth of the narcissist is to expose their schemes. Tell the world what they do and say, so that fear is brought about in the heart of a narcissist.

One of the most damaging false doctrines that has emerged in modern times is the foolish idea that we should forgive the unrepentant. This is selfish, to help the narcissist to feel a victory in his evil by allowing him to expect forgiveness no matter what he does, only increases his confidence that evil works, even hardening his heart to truth. The only reason for doing this is to protect ourselves from wrong judgements of others who have been indoctrinated into this false doctrine, appearing to the the good guy. The opinions of others are more important than God's principles of discpline.

If everyone obeyed the Word and forgave WHEN THERE IS REPENTANCE, then the narcissist would learn to modify his behavior, possibly leaving him more open to the gospel of repentance. When we lead him to have a view of God as forgiving when there is no repentance, he will never see his need to confess or repent to God or anyone else. He will see God as a paper doll puppet that winks at sin and tolerates evil. He will demand forgiveness from others no matter what his heart condition, while operating as though God owes it to him.

The sins of our brothers and sisters should separate them from us, until they are broken and repentant over them. God commanded us to be separate from unbelievers in relationships. Our contact with non-believers should be for the purpose of the gospel, not to be close friends.

We expose sin and separate ourselves from believers so their relationships with God will be restored. We expose and separate ourselves from non-believers so they will learn there will be no access to God or heaven without confession and repentance. We remain in the lives of people to help them either to become born again or to be restored as a believer, but we do not make the unrepentant our friends on a regular basis.

Our modern psychology that concocted this foolish notion of forgiving without repentance has created a culture that indulges in their sin rather than seeing the damaging nature of it. It also applies pressure to the innocent to continue contact with evil people and forgive them, while enduring their continual abuse. An unrepentant person will not change their ways, until they are broken over their win. There is no love in counseling a broken person who has been victimized by the wicked, to forgive them and continue contact with them. There may be some cases like this led by the Lord, where the victim has been compelled to do this, but it should never be a pressure from other outside sources. If this happens, it should be a prompting from God in their own spirit. Our sympathies and protection should always be with the victim first.

Isaiah 59:2 "But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear."

1 Timothy 5:20 "Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear."

Titus 1:13 "This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;"

I was once told by someone that we should protect everyone's reputation, even the evil doer. This is patently wrong and unBiblical, not to mention silly. God clearly told us to expose those who are evil. We are to protect the reputation of a righteous man by defending lies against him, but we are commanded to expose the evil of someone who is walking wickedly.

1 Peter 2:12 "Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation."

Often, mean and manipulative people are protected by ignorant people out of fear of being seen as a gossip. The evil person never changes his behavior because he believes it works and he will not be exposed.

Ephesians 5:11 "Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;"

Exposure can be a blessing to those who are sinning, it forces them to face their sin, giving them a greater chance to repent and receive true forgiveness, allowing their relationship to be restored or in the case of the unsaved, to become born again.

All this teaching about forgiveness when there is no repentance has created a lot of fakers to remain in the body without challenge while living blatantly in sin, enjoying their evil as they influence new and weak believers. Those who forgive before someone is repentant are prideful, enjoying their "sacrificial" martyr type attitude, when all they are accomplishing is for sin to run rampant through our churches and our culture. Every place we see forgiveness in the Word, it is connected with repentance. No where in the Word are we told to forgive the unrepentant.

1 Corinthians 5:6-8 "6 Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough?
7 Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.
8 Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth."

2 Corinthians 6:17 "Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,"

1 Corinthians 5:17 "But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person."

Ezekiel 33:7-9 "7 “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the people of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me. 8 When I say to the wicked, ‘You wicked person, you will surely die,’ and you do not speak out to dissuade them from their ways, that wicked person will die for their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. 9 But if you do warn the wicked person to turn from their ways and they do not do so, they will die for their sin, though you yourself will be saved."

It would be good for all believers to stop and pray about everything we were taught, comparing it with the Word of God, if it is not accurate then throw it away. Many things our modern apostate church believes today, was brought in through the evil medium of psychology. We have gone down to Egypt for our help rather than turning to Christ for the wisdom. Egypt has always been a euphemism for the world and its' ways.

Egypt is in the church today and because of this, the church is an apostate mess, filled with pretenders and wolves who are proud of themselves for forgiving the unrepentant.

John 12:43 "For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God."

God is not impressed with our forgiveness given without repentance, only men are impressed.

1 Corinthians 5:1-2 "5 It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles, that someone has his father’s wife. 2 You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst."

How terrible it must have been for the husband of the woman, whose son was sleeping with his wife, knowing that an entire church was "just forgiving him." How completely ridiculous is this. Many people are harmed by the deeds of evil men, but the one who gets the understanding and love is not the victim but the perp. How utterly hateful to the victim for an entire church to embrace the sinner while in essence throwing the victim under the bus.

Let us stop acting self righteously by forgiving evil people who are not repentant and begin loving the victims and our love for the perps should require a changed heart from them,