Some of the traits of the narcissists!
They do not accept corrective criticism, it causes anger and rage in them, often retaliating in covert ways that demean the one who attempted to help them think through situations.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Narcissists do not like equals in their lives, they must cloak their actions to devalue the one whom they perceive as more accomplished or unresponsive to their assertion that they are superior.
Romans 12:3 "For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned."
The tend to be loners, while having an aversion to close friendships. Having close friends requires a give and take, a sense of equality and equity, that is distasteful to the narcissist. They have one desire which is to be superior to all those with whom they come in contact. The narcissists often surrounds themselves with "yes" people who idolize them, to remain in that necessary elevated position in their own minds.
Hebrews 13:1 "1 Continue in brotherly love. 2Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.…"
Friends are treated like objects rather than people of value. Objects can be easily thrown away without any sense of loss. There is no concern for the well being of friends, only a fake and superficial pretense of it.
Every disagreement is treated like a personal attack, a threat to them, for the narcissist. They react aggressively and often covertly to retaliate in ways that are hidden to anyone else but the target.
Proverbs 29:11 "11 A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. 12 If a ruler pays attention to falsehood, All his ministers become wicked.…"
There is a never ending display of false modesty. I once had a narcissist tell me that he just could not be fake. The narcissist often will claim they are or aren't something that is clearly not true, to convince the hearer of something they know is not true. If a narcissist is telling you they just can't lie, you can be sure they have been lying all along or are about to lie.
Normal people don't have to tell you they are not lying, it doesn't come to their mind to defend themselves in that way because lying is not natural to an empathetic and kind individual, at least as a matter of lifestyle.
Narcissists have no sense of humor except at the pratfalls of others. They absolutely have none at all when being teased. It is normal to tease a friend on occasion, but the narcissist is incensed at any teasing about themselves, they will quickly retaliate to raise themselves back to the level of superior.
Most normal people can take a little teasing and can even laugh at themselves. Since a rational secure person has no need to feel special, they can look at themselves in honesty and even mock themselves when they have done something ridiculous.
Narcissists have a very strange relationships with God. They believe they are deserving of God's favor while others are not. They elevate their spirituality above others while it is unwarranted.
Even though they will feel worthy of God's love, they will also ignore many if not most of His commands even while they believe they do obey Him. There is a twisted view of their own importance that makes them nearly equal to God.
Most of what comes out of the narcissists mouth is only words, their life displays very little evidence that what they say is true. They seem to be satisfied with appearing special and holy without actually being such.
1 Samuel 2:3 "Talk no more so very proudly, let not arrogance come from your mouth; for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed."
Narcissists often devalue women and children as underlings to be bossed and controlled rather than people to be loved, nurtured and valued. Even the women narcissists tend to place women on a lower level than themselves even though they are a woman. Those other women are not like themselves, they are lesser than the narcissist and worthy of little or no respect.
It is anathema for a narcissist to show their vulnerability. A strong and honest person can admit their weaknesses, but a narcissist cannot admit to anything negative about themselves. It is interesting to note that if someone has a hard time admitting to their own failings and warts to brothers and sisters in the Lord, that they are not likely to be able to do it with God either.
Until the narcissist is broken over their sin of self love, they will not be able to be born again. God will not forgive the sins of one who don't think they have any to be forgiven.
Another very interesting trait of the narcissist is their propensity to hold the sins of others against them even after the sins have been confessed and forsaken, as though they have never needed to confess anything.
Psalm 512:16-17 "…16 For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. "
Everyone has acted in narcissistic ways from time to time, having to confess it and move on, but the true narcissist lives in the realm of self love every day of their life, while refusing counsel on their own need for repentance. We see these people described in the 2 Timothy 3 verses above.
How can we keep from being the narcissist as described here? The answer is simple, ask God to show us anything in us that does not please Him. Confess any known sin desiring to be cleansed of it, to be able to continue on in holiness.
NO ONE, NO ONE can say they do not need to confess or that their sins were not big enough to have to be broken over them. If someone says their sin is not that big, then they have sinned in their words and have never trusted Christ for what He did for them on the cross.
Romans 2:22-23 "…16 For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. "
