A mean person on the inside can only pretend to be kind, eventually, with difficulties approaching, the real him/her will emerge.
A kind person is always that way, it doesn't come and go with difficulties. Kind people do not regularly provoke others, not even the people they don't like.
A mean person will be friendly to someone they like and covertly mean to those they don't like.
A kind person is AUTOMATICALLY kind without having to think. When they have a bad day and are cranky, they apologize and revert to their authentic self, that inwardly kind person.
A mean person has to think about being kind, they work at it because it is not who they are inside. When they get tired of working at it, they revert to their authentic selves, meanness emerges.
Matthew 6:21 - "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."
Love of self produces phony responses to life, they are not genuine and they laps easily.
Ephesians 6:7 - "With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men."
Those who genuinely love the Lord will always be aware of their actions and responses toward others.
Love of God and others, produces a response that is always thinking about the feelings and needs of others.
Matthew 22:36-40
"36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”
I Corinthians 13:4-8a, "13 - Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Now abide faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
Philippians 2:3-7 - "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men."
One who cannot evaluate their own unkind responses, even twisting the truth to seem innocent, is one who is not walking with Christ, but according to their own flesh.
There are those who walk like time bombs, they are almost always on the verge of a visceral response, at the slightest perceived provocation. Often they have no reason, but since they are always on the verge, they will make up a reason, even often believing the perspective they concocted.
I have met several people like this, they hate open and honest straight talk, it flies in the face of their need to hide. Genuineness and openness frightens and infuriates the one who wishes to hide or pretend.
When they see someone being genuine, it reminds them of their own deceit. Facing their real selves is unthinkable to the one who wants to be his own master, accountable to no one other than himself/herself. There is a need for the mean person to cause a negative reaction in the kind person. If they can cause frustration and anger response, the will relieve themselves of any guilt, after all "look how they are" is their thinking. Even choosing to forget that they provoked the anger in others.
The person who is hiding, who must be continually controlling others, will become unhinged when confronted with their own frailties. These people can never bend the knee to Christ, they can never admit their sinfulness. Until they are brought to the end of themselves, completely broken and helpless, they will never submit to Christ or anyone else in a genuine way. They may pretend for a time, to look good, while resenting it the entire time "they have to do it." This resentment is lingering continually, therefore when a rage response to almost nothing comes out of the blue, we can surmise that this inner contempt was present long before the blow up.
Loving and kind people make a practice of submission to others, they are helpful without having to ponder whether or not to do it, they are automatic in their responses to the needs of others.
If anyone has to work-up the desire to help someone, then we can say it is in their flesh they are doing it and it will not last. It's akin to spilling some green paint on the grass, as soon as the grass grows and is cut the paint is gone. In the genuine believer, the grass grows green, it's in the very DNA of the blade of grass, there is nothing that takes it away.
What God produces in us is permanent, to the core and automatic. How do we tell if we are operating in the flesh? My answer would be, does what I do come naturally without much thought? Or, do I have to work it up, try real hard and then become proud of it after, as though it was me that did it. If I work hard and am proud, then it is probably the flesh.
Those who do fleshly kindness will always be a little miffed if someone doesn't notice. They must make a show of it and make sure to mention it to others. There will be an account building up, the more that is done in the flesh, the prouder the deed doer becomes and the angrier when not praised for it.
The believer operating under the power of the Holy Spirit has no need to be recognized, their joy comes from obeying God, there is no need for recognition.
Matthew 6:1-4 "6 “Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.
2 “So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.
3 But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,
4 so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."
