Proverbs 26
Gossipers always ask lots of questions to gain enough information to have something, even an innocent comment to twist and pass on as fact. By the time they get through passing on a piece of what you said out of context, they will have the listener believing you are a terrible person and even to get the hearer to believe you are the gossiper.
When the gossiper is confronted about their duplicity, they rage, mock and demean until the conversation has turned into a battle rather than a discussion.
Narcissists hate to be confronted about anything. Their fragile ego falls apart at any suggestion that they have done or said something wrong. Their response is rage to intimidate those who wish to clear up a misunderstanding or restore a relationship.
It is impossible to reason with a narcissist, they will lie continually merely to win, justifying through the twisting of words and events.
Because these tactics are so intense, there is no question that the devil is behind them.
The anger of the narcissist is irrational when anger makes no sense. We have seen an increase in this because of the end times increase in self esteem and self worship. Those who think they are godlike have a protection mechanism that involves intimidation to accomplish their goal to remain superior.
The narcissist causes others to walk on egg shells because the victims never know when the next attack is coming, all the while accusing their victim of causing them to walk on egg shells. One of the irrational tactics of the narcissist is to do mean and strange things saying their target made them do it or even worse asserting that the target was the one doing it.
The tactics of the narcissist are truly crazy-making. They make very little sense, have no value to relationships but even worse cause intense fighting and pain in others for no good reason except to elevate the narcissist in his/her own mind.
Proverbs 26 speaks all about the fool, it is well worth reading what God says about it and what our response to it ought to be.
Proverbs 26 "Like snow in summer and like rain in harvest,
So honor is not fitting for a fool.
2 Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying,
So a curse without cause does not alight.
3 A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey,
And a rod for the back of fools.
4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Or you will also be like him.
5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves,
That he not be wise in his own eyes.
6 He cuts off his own feet and drinks violence
Who sends a message by the hand of a fool.
7 Like the legs which are useless to the lame,
So is a proverb in the mouth of fools.
8 Like one who binds a stone in a sling,
So is he who gives honor to a fool.
9 Like a thorn which falls into the hand of a drunkard,
So is a proverb in the mouth of fools.
10 Like an archer who wounds everyone,
So is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by.
11 Like a dog that returns to its vomit
Is a fool who repeats his folly.
12 Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
13 The sluggard says, “There is a lion in the road!
A lion is in the open square!”
14 As the door turns on its hinges,
So does the sluggard on his bed.
15 The sluggard buries his hand in the dish;
He is weary of bringing it to his mouth again.
16 The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes
Than seven men who can give a discreet answer.
17 Like one who takes a dog by the ears
Is he who passes by and meddles with strife not belonging to him.
18 Like a madman who throws
Firebrands, arrows and death,
19 So is the man who deceives his neighbor,
And says, “Was I not joking?”
20 For lack of wood the fire goes out,
And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.
21 Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire,
So is a contentious man to kindle strife.
22 The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels,
And they go down into the innermost parts of the body.
23 Like an earthen vessel overlaid with silver dross
Are burning lips and a wicked heart.
24 He who hates disguises it with his lips,
But he lays up deceit in his heart.
25 When he speaks graciously, do not believe him,
For there are seven abominations in his heart.
26 Though his hatred covers itself with guile,
His wickedness will be revealed before the assembly.
27 He who digs a pit will fall into it,
And he who rolls a stone, it will come back on him.
28 A lying tongue hates those it crushes,
And a flattering mouth works ruin.
Normal anger is based on an event and dissipates with conversation as things are cleared up.
Narcissistic anger is rage that emerges because of an angry spirit that resides inside, a dumping of what has been in there all the time. They do not feel better when they have gotten out their rage, they become even more anger the more they rage.
Normal anger is based on an event, but the narcissist anger is irrationally out of control compared to the infraction, and often there hasn't even been an infraction, merely a disagreement.
The narcissist can never state clearly what it was that provoked them, often nothing provokes them, they are always looking for a reason to dump on someone. It is clear that there is no reasoning with this sort of angry person, they will not allow discussion, shutting down with more rage any attempt to clear things up or hear another side.
Narcissists believe that the person they rage at are a "bad person", rather than focusing on the particular event that upset them, they assign evil to the character of the person at which they are raging.
I am convinced this phenomena is diabolical, meaning it is orchestrated by the devil, twisting the thoughts of those who are defenseless against him.
1 Peter 5:8-9 " 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…"
In my humble opinion based on many years of dealings with narcissists, I have come to the conclusion that narcissism on any level is the influence of the devil in the minds of those who are not led by the Holy Spirit of God.
When we know what we are dealing with, and it will be more frequently in these end times, we do not have to be drawn into a fight, nor do we have to answer foolishness, we can calmly walk away and pray for the one who is held captive by the devil.
The world's love is a perverted form of love, based on feelings and temporary highs of emotion.
To negate any part of God's word to embrace human wisdom is a form of denying Christ. So many "Christians" mix worldly wisdom and psychology with their form of Christianity, that they end up denying God's Word!
Why do so many people feel a need to mix God's Word with human wisdom, thereby adding to Scripture?
The answer is simple, when we go along to get along in the world, we can be friends with everyone.
God has forbidden divorce and remarriage, but the church has nearly fully embraced it while calling those who stand against it, "judgmental" or "mean." But when the world says this of the born again believer who tells the truth, they rail against us, but it is really God they are angry with, because it is His Word we speak, not our own words.
When we stay to the pure word of God without the human wisdom inculcated, we will be hated by most other "Christians", not to mention the world around us. We truly are in the last days.
Many of us have been maligned and mocked for coming against sin in the church. The moment we bring the scripture into the question we are told we are unloving or mean spirited, as though the words of God are secondary to what is falsely called wisdom by psychologists.
The world's love is a perverted form of love, based on feelings and temporary highs of emotion. God's love is based on truth to spare us the pitfalls that come with the sins that are forbidden.
In our world today many people see the consequences of sin as nothing more than "normal", they fix them by bailing out of commitment, by pretending what they have is a good thing, even denying that they have a mess on their hands.
Relationships are more broken than they have ever been, families fragmented and tormented because of the way in which sin is ignored and even embraced.
There was a time many years ago when believers could stand for the truth within Christian circles and be well supported for their stand. Now as it is, we are mocked by those who claim to love God and the Bible. They will even call themselves "Bible believing" but very little of their life reflects this except that they don't get arrested for crimes or use drugs and alcohol. However, all the other commandments are ignored on a regular basis and the love of the brethren is missing.
John 13:34 A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so also you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.”
When we love God with all our heart we also love to discover His mind for the purpose of being pleasing to Him. When thee is a man centered gospel, a gospel of friendliness rather than holiness, then God's principles will be minimized and even mocked.
John 14:15-16 " 15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever—…"
When we love Christ above everything and everyone else, we will deeply love our brethren and God's commands more than our own life. It matters not that others may be angry with us for speaking truth, our goal is to impart truth to those we love. It is not love to accept sin in others without challenge, it is love of self and a form of indifference to the well being of those who are in sin.
Matthew 22:37-39 "…37 Jesus declared, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’…"
Our feelings are not our substance.
Feelings come and go, they are not reality often. When we operate from knowledge and commitment, we will feel good about that, but it will be a real change in our heart, greater than feelings.
Change most often comes when we have to face what we are and admit it. When we ignore the bad attitudes but do good works, that serves only to build pride and pretend to dissipate the wrong we do to others.
It is best to confess what we are, what we have been and ask the Lord to change us. Then our good works will mean something real.
When we see people rocking between the "sweet mean cycle" constantly, we are watching those who base all they do on how it makes them feel rather than on substance and commitment.
Proverbs 18:15
"An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge."
Hosea 4:6-7
"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children. The more they increased, the more they sinned against me; I will change their glory into shame."
The Hosea passage describes a people much like ours in this country and even around the world today.
Most holiday gatherings are for personal pleasure, a time of boasting and bragging about accomplishments and material wealth, forgetting the things of the Lord, that are just a "fly in the ointment" of holiday cheer.
Just call me Granny Grinch, the woman who places the fly in the ointment, without a hearer to hear or a listener to listen, I speak of things of which most people want no part.
Proverbs 15:14
"The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly."
Proverbs 8:10
"Take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold,"
The fruit of the Spirit are character qualities, not works, out of these qualities will come works. I just love that thought, the heart is first where it should be and then comes the proper actions and attitudes in response to these qualities.
Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Ephesians 2:9-10 "
…9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance as our way of life"
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"3 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
How many of you have encountered what I have among family members? The hardest place to live out our faith is with those who we think should love us, they have a superficial love based on us being whatever they want us to be. As soon as we speak our own mind or the mind of Christ, we are then an enemy to them.
Galatians 4:16
"16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?"
The narcissists will preach loving, loving, loving as though we are not that, as they rage at us calling us names. Where is that "loving" they claim to have for others, it is not for us, those who are confidently speaking truth. This superficial love is only for those who agree with them, elevate them and never challenge them to think in terms of Christ and His principles.
I was attacked spiritually and emotionally by my brother at Thanksgiving dinner at his home. We got into a discussion about how we should relate to others. I mentioned that God has many ways through the Holy Spirit in how we should deal with people. That we should be led by the Holy Spirit, I barely got the words out of my mouth when my brother mocked me, laughed at me and shut me down so that I could say no more.
My brother called me all the things he was being, mean spirited, aggressive and other things, while I sat quietly waiting for the tirade to be finished. And, this person is a "Christian"?
This is why I know so much about narcissism, I was raised in a family that showed continual contempt for those who were "too radical" in their Christianity. They all go to church as my parents did when they were alive, but have always been embarrassed at the mention of anything from the Bible. They were great friends with one another but mocked, dismissed and ignored me at every opportunity. This last encounter proved to me that nothing has changed, I pray for them, but must keep my distance. Of what value is it when I can't finish a sentence to explain my views, that are from the Bible? There was clear embarrassment at the mention of particular Bible passages.
When we find ourselves in a situation in which our faith is attacked for the mere speaking of it, we must understand that it is not us being attacked but Christ Who lives in us.
Remember that Christ and the apostles were attacked, and for what? For sharing a way to be saved from sin and hell. This is the same mentality that we encounter in a country where they will not kill you, they will use mocking, raging and intimidation verbally hoping to cause fear in us, to ever speak of it again to them. The attacks are to cause silence, the only acceptable communication in these groups is joking, playing games and affirming those that praise and fawn all over one another.
The principles of the Bible are not important to these people, they love their sin, their disobedience and their sense of superiority, they will never listen and if they don't like what we say they either rage or are completely unresponsive.
May the Lord give us strength to stop responding to the attempts to cause sin in us. The objective is to get us to fight with them so that their contempt for us will be justified in their own minds. I admit I have less tolerance for believers who rage and mock than I do for non-believers who do the same thing. Believers should know better, but in many cases the love of Christ does not dwell in these people, only arrogance and superiority, superficiality and self righteousness dwell deeply in their hearts.
James 4:7
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
1 Peter 5:8-9
"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world."
Ephesians 6:11-17
"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. .."
When we obey the Word, speak it boldly without apology and walk it, be sure we will be a target for pretenders, sometimes even more so than those who confess unbelief.
