Blanket statements and generalizations are the accusations of toxic people because they know they don't really have anything against you except that you won't be like them.
I have never met a toxic person who starts a fight that ever brings details to prove their point. First they generalize, then they accuse and then attack. There are no specifics, they are merely in a war with you because of their jealousy or hope to be superior to you.
When we walk according to our own convictions, refusing to bow to the standards of others we will be a target for the toxic person.
The standards of the believer are based on the Holy Word of God and His principles. The toxic person hates this, they want to be our god. When they see that we have another God, that contradicts their ideas of goodness, they are enraged, seeking to do whatever it takes to devalue us, not only in our own eyes but in the eyes of others too, as they gossip, tell half truths and even out and out lies to cause division and isolate us from others who might otherwise love us.
The toxic person can't stand that others love us, they must do something to ruin that love by their whispers and distortions.
These self exalted toxic persons put labels on you, again without specifics. Because you will not bow to their perspective they will call you "rebellious" or "stubborn." Even telling others who might love you that you are these things, to cause those who might love you to question your character.
Sadly anyone who believes them is not acting in love and may have to be avoided too. A wise man believes what he sees for himself.
These relationship destroyers will operated often from the standpoint of assumptions and feelings rather than facts. They choose to believe things about us because of their intense dislike for us, and then pass those assumptions on as facts, to others, again without specifics and evidence to back up their assertions.
Since we know that the Lord is all about love and justice, it is difficult to see these toxic people as born again, they lack justice and love. Many of their desired beliefs about us are irrational and contrived. The question ought to be "why do they want to dislike us."
We know who the father of all this monstrous chaos is, yes...it's the devil himself. The devil is using people full of rebellion, contempt and jealousy to come against those who love Christ.
When we attempt to have a conversation about anything that is bothering us that was done to us, we are told we are "too sensitive", or that they didn't say or do what you know they did. Denial is a big part of the narcissists life, they will always pull this one out of the rabbits hat whenever it is needed. It is called "gaslighting", an attempt is made to make us look silly or crazy to deflect them from any responsibility.
The toxic person will never address the real issue, it will always degenerate into accusations unrelated to the problem or an attack of character.
Toxic people presume to know what others are thinking so they feel no need to listen. Unfortunately they are basing their assessment of what you are thinking on the way they think, not on how you think, they won't listen long enough to know how you think.
A toxic person lies frequently so they will believe others are lying to them. They twist facts so they accuse others of twisting facts. The trademark of the toxic person is to "get you before you get them", because they are always out to win in any discourse, they will attack quickly to have the upper hand. Since their mentality is always in attack mode, they will assume you want to attack them even for the slightest and mildest questioning or statements to discuss anything.
Toxic people do not want to discuss anything, they think they know everything, even what you are thinking or planning so they refuse to allow their target to have their say or explain their own thinking. Assumptions are a big factor in the heart of the toxic person.
It is a blessing to learn what evil looks like and how it operates. Keeping in mind that the one who is toxic is a pawn in the hands of the devil, we can avoid the trap of the devil. He is continually whispering in the ears and hearts of those who have no defense against him. Every day he is building up lies and assumptions within those who are full of deceit.
When we know what we are dealing with we can use the weapons of spiritual warfare, prayer, silence and removing ourselves so as not to be guilty of the same things the toxic person is guilty of, that is fighting to win in an argument that turns irrational.
Ephesians 5:11-13 "…11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can make your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this world's darkness, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore take up the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground, and having done everything, to stand.…"
Friday, February 23, 2018
Walking in Truth
If you find yourself unable to look at the truth in someone because you are emotionally invested in the gooy feelings about them, then you need to evaluate your own motives.
We should be able to tell the truth about anyone all the time. Narcissist think of criticism as a stab of death, they don't understand that because we love God so much we refuse to put anyone on the level of "perfect", only God gets that title.
When we cannot see things in truth, even making up our own truth to "feel" good, we have denied the truth.
Narcissists only like truth when it elevates them or makes them feel good. Unfortunately much of life is correction, confession and a change of heart, but only if we want truth.
Those who do not want truth, only good feelings and an elevated position will never grow spiritually or emotionally. Narcissists are on a six year old level, lacking maturity even fighting against truth to maintain their fantasies. The "positive affirmation" lies have caused an entire culture to think "if you can't say anything good, don't say anything at all", to intimidate people into lying to keep their place in the family or community. It is not Biblical to want to only see everything based on happiness or our favored fantasies.
2 John 4
"4 I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the TRUTH, just as we were commanded by the Father."
We should be able to tell the truth about anyone all the time. Narcissist think of criticism as a stab of death, they don't understand that because we love God so much we refuse to put anyone on the level of "perfect", only God gets that title.
When we cannot see things in truth, even making up our own truth to "feel" good, we have denied the truth.
Narcissists only like truth when it elevates them or makes them feel good. Unfortunately much of life is correction, confession and a change of heart, but only if we want truth.
Those who do not want truth, only good feelings and an elevated position will never grow spiritually or emotionally. Narcissists are on a six year old level, lacking maturity even fighting against truth to maintain their fantasies. The "positive affirmation" lies have caused an entire culture to think "if you can't say anything good, don't say anything at all", to intimidate people into lying to keep their place in the family or community. It is not Biblical to want to only see everything based on happiness or our favored fantasies.
2 John 4
"4 I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the TRUTH, just as we were commanded by the Father."
Thursday, February 22, 2018
Do Not Trust in a Man
I place no trust in man. God can use anyone, even deceivers, but that doesn't make the deceivers alright.
We need to expose the wrong things people do and say while leaving their eternal destination to God. I don't know if Billy Graham was saved or not, it doesn't matter to me, I don't have to decide.
But that means that I will not decide that he was good or that he was bad, I will only expose what he actually said and then come against bad doctrine.
Why do so many people feel a need to decide whether someone went to heaven or hell? God will do His own will, we must trust Him. I have no desire to place any man so high on a pedestal that no one can criticize him.
We must be able to evaluate every man based on their teachings and their deeds. If we cannot face the truth about someone, then that someone is our idol.
Romans 3:4
"4 May it never be! Rather, let God be found true, though every man be found a liar, as it is written, “That You may be justified in Your words,
And prevail when You are judged.”
We need to expose the wrong things people do and say while leaving their eternal destination to God. I don't know if Billy Graham was saved or not, it doesn't matter to me, I don't have to decide.
But that means that I will not decide that he was good or that he was bad, I will only expose what he actually said and then come against bad doctrine.
Why do so many people feel a need to decide whether someone went to heaven or hell? God will do His own will, we must trust Him. I have no desire to place any man so high on a pedestal that no one can criticize him.
We must be able to evaluate every man based on their teachings and their deeds. If we cannot face the truth about someone, then that someone is our idol.
Romans 3:4
"4 May it never be! Rather, let God be found true, though every man be found a liar, as it is written, “That You may be justified in Your words,
And prevail when You are judged.”
Respect Hogs
Anyone who thinks we are obligated to defer to them or that we are obligated to give them more respect than they are willing to give to us, is a controlling and selfish individual.
Kind and loving people care about the needs and desires of others. They have no interest in being in control, or having more respect than anyone else. They do not elevate their importance above others. When we meet someone who is demanding respect, then we have met a person who does not respect others. Their demand of it gives them away.
Kind and loving people are introspective, they want to know their own inner motives to become a better person, their concern is about their own growth in righteousness, not in whether someone else is noticing it or praising them because of it. If someone wants praise all the time, then chances are they are not growing and they do not honor or respect others.
The controller does not introspect, they have elevated views of their own importance as well as grandiose ideas about their own achievements, none of which are warranted. Appearing special and above others is far more important to the selfish person than actually being Christ like. The reason they clamor to be elevated is because they know what they are, deficient in the things that matter, so the create a phony appearance to fool others.
They encourage a view of themselves, whether true or not, that takes presedence over anyone else. This mentality was taught in the public school system for years and aped in the churches, that "we should love ourselves first."
The lie was propagated that we cannot love others unless we love ourselves first. This was a lie from the devil coming out of the psychological community with it's basis and origins from evolutionary thinking. The lie that we are merely animals responding to stimuli is the school of thought that has been taught in every institution.
The truth is that we are not likely to love others when self is the focus.
Philippians 2:2-4 "…2 then make my joy complete by being of one mind, having the same love, being united in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Even in the seminaries where creationism has been taught, the concept that bad people are merely hurting souls, was spawned out of evolution. It is good sense to know that we do not poke at others when we have been poked by someone else. In fact if we are loving and kind, we seek never to do the evil to others that was done to us.
There are those who poke at good people hoping to get a negative reaction so they can feel justified in their contempt for them. Self lovers rarely care about others.
God never speaks about evil people as merely hurting souls being the reason they hurt others. Adam and Eve were made perfect and given a choice. No one hurt Adam and Eve, causing them to disobey and listen to the devil, that was a choice they made because of a heart that disobeyed God.
Evil people do evil things because their hearts are evil.
Matthew 15:17-19 "…17 “Do you not yet realize that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then is eliminated? 18 But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander.…"
I have known children who came out of wonderful home environments who went bad and I have known children who came from terrible environments that chose to follow Christ. Each person has a choice to be good or bad, no one forces them and no one is at fault except themselves.
Ezekiel 18:20 "20 The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself."
If there is anyone who is seeking revenge for either real or perceived slights, then that person has an evil heart. God does not give us excuses to be unkind to others because someone else was unkind to us.
When we find ourselves continually being poked by someone hell bent on ruining us, then we are not to do revenge, we are to avoid them, knowing that there is no way we can fix them, knowing that these kind of people never listen, they merely step up their hatred for being exposed.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"1 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Bottom Line: Expect hatred and contempt, this sort of treatment in these days of apostasy and rebellion is growing, while learning to walk away without response. Do not attempt to reason with those who love their sin. Any response at all is food for the wicked person, it is best to ignore them completely.
Isaiah 26:10 "10 Though the wicked is shown favor, He does not learn righteousness; He deals unjustly in the land of uprightness, And does not perceive the majesty of the LORD."
Kind and loving people care about the needs and desires of others. They have no interest in being in control, or having more respect than anyone else. They do not elevate their importance above others. When we meet someone who is demanding respect, then we have met a person who does not respect others. Their demand of it gives them away.
Kind and loving people are introspective, they want to know their own inner motives to become a better person, their concern is about their own growth in righteousness, not in whether someone else is noticing it or praising them because of it. If someone wants praise all the time, then chances are they are not growing and they do not honor or respect others.
The controller does not introspect, they have elevated views of their own importance as well as grandiose ideas about their own achievements, none of which are warranted. Appearing special and above others is far more important to the selfish person than actually being Christ like. The reason they clamor to be elevated is because they know what they are, deficient in the things that matter, so the create a phony appearance to fool others.
They encourage a view of themselves, whether true or not, that takes presedence over anyone else. This mentality was taught in the public school system for years and aped in the churches, that "we should love ourselves first."
The lie was propagated that we cannot love others unless we love ourselves first. This was a lie from the devil coming out of the psychological community with it's basis and origins from evolutionary thinking. The lie that we are merely animals responding to stimuli is the school of thought that has been taught in every institution.
The truth is that we are not likely to love others when self is the focus.
Philippians 2:2-4 "…2 then make my joy complete by being of one mind, having the same love, being united in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Even in the seminaries where creationism has been taught, the concept that bad people are merely hurting souls, was spawned out of evolution. It is good sense to know that we do not poke at others when we have been poked by someone else. In fact if we are loving and kind, we seek never to do the evil to others that was done to us.
There are those who poke at good people hoping to get a negative reaction so they can feel justified in their contempt for them. Self lovers rarely care about others.
God never speaks about evil people as merely hurting souls being the reason they hurt others. Adam and Eve were made perfect and given a choice. No one hurt Adam and Eve, causing them to disobey and listen to the devil, that was a choice they made because of a heart that disobeyed God.
Evil people do evil things because their hearts are evil.
Matthew 15:17-19 "…17 “Do you not yet realize that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then is eliminated? 18 But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander.…"
I have known children who came out of wonderful home environments who went bad and I have known children who came from terrible environments that chose to follow Christ. Each person has a choice to be good or bad, no one forces them and no one is at fault except themselves.
Ezekiel 18:20 "20 The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself."
If there is anyone who is seeking revenge for either real or perceived slights, then that person has an evil heart. God does not give us excuses to be unkind to others because someone else was unkind to us.
When we find ourselves continually being poked by someone hell bent on ruining us, then we are not to do revenge, we are to avoid them, knowing that there is no way we can fix them, knowing that these kind of people never listen, they merely step up their hatred for being exposed.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"1 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Bottom Line: Expect hatred and contempt, this sort of treatment in these days of apostasy and rebellion is growing, while learning to walk away without response. Do not attempt to reason with those who love their sin. Any response at all is food for the wicked person, it is best to ignore them completely.
Isaiah 26:10 "10 Though the wicked is shown favor, He does not learn righteousness; He deals unjustly in the land of uprightness, And does not perceive the majesty of the LORD."
The Days of Apostasy
In these days of apostasy, many others will be offended when we just do our own thing, they want us to be just like them, validating them by imitating them.
Merely going down your own road without them is enough to set off the anger of the narcissist. They cannot stand anyone who chooses their own road.
Romans 16:17-18
"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive."
Merely going down your own road without them is enough to set off the anger of the narcissist. They cannot stand anyone who chooses their own road.
Romans 16:17-18
"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive."
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Idol Worship is Forbidden by God
It is important to remember that we can love people, even appreciate the work they do for the Lord, but it is not an option to treat them like gods. We ought to be able to correct anyone at any time when they are violating the Scripture. We ought to be able to share advice when we see our brother or sister about to make a mistake or commit a sin.
When we cannot face the flaws of someone we love, then we have created an idol in our own minds.
Idol worshipers have the tendency to see only good in those they like while seeing only bad in those that do not elevate them as special.
As believers we should hate the idea of being worshiped by someone else. Worship should only be toward God, not any human being no matter how much we like them or agree with them.
We can love people more fully and in spite of their warts, when we love God most.
When we cannot face the flaws of someone we love, then we have created an idol in our own minds.
Idol worshipers have the tendency to see only good in those they like while seeing only bad in those that do not elevate them as special.
As believers we should hate the idea of being worshiped by someone else. Worship should only be toward God, not any human being no matter how much we like them or agree with them.
We can love people more fully and in spite of their warts, when we love God most.
Not a lot Makes Good Sense These Days
Elisabeth Elliot ~" If you don't see the hand of God in even the smallest setbacks and inconveniences, you will be blind to the meaning that God wants you to find in your deeper sufferings."
Mrs. Elliots quote encourages us when things don't seem to make any sense, and in these times of 2 Timothy 3, a lot doesn't make good sense.
Mrs. Elliots quote encourages us when things don't seem to make any sense, and in these times of 2 Timothy 3, a lot doesn't make good sense.
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