Those who are enablers are selfish, they care more about remaining friends with the narcissist than what the narcissist is doing to the targets.
Why do they not defend the target, instead of the narcissist. They must be like the narcissist, or they wouldn't care if the narcissist likes them. The flying monkey, the enabler will defend the one they identify with and with whom they want to remain friends.
Have you ever been confused when observing people in the room who see what the bully does but say and do nothing? The very least the observer can do is comfort the victim, even privately, but they do not.
If everyone in the room who saw the abusive comments and accusations would chastise the abuser, then the abuser would learn to stop it. But since everyone in the room remains silent, the abuser is empowered to not only continue but become worse.
Silence in the face of wrong is the same as endorsement of it.
1 Peter 2:15-16 "15 For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorance of foolish men. 16 Live in freedom, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God."
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)
So many people quote this sentence from Edmund Burke when speaking about politics, but will not stand up for truth and righteousness in their own family units. I guess its just easier to speak to the choir about politics than it is to risk the anger and contempt of family members.
Just saying!!!!
Every born again believer is able to say, "I am not what I used to be." Anyone who cannot say that, those who believe they have not changed in all their years, cannot be born again.
No one who is born again remains the same, they are growing and changing all the time as Christ in them is cleansing them daily.
Hallelujah!!!
"Putting up with abuse to avoid more abuse is irrational" (taken from an internet counselor), the abuse is going to happen anyway so might as well as minimize the abuse by removing yourself and refusing to engage with contentious people.
Over time the more we control our emotions around contentious people the less we will have to deal with in them. Those who get no reaction must give up, they cannot argue with themselves.
This concept is Biblical, God tells us to remove ourselves from those who refuse to reason and those who love to fight.
Proverbs 26:20-21 "20 Without wood, a fire goes out; without gossip, a conflict ceases. 21 Like charcoal for embers and wood for fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife."
I have heard young people boast to me that they love a good argument. Sadly their idea of argument is nothing more than "one up man-ship" to gain control over others emotions. They have no desire to learn truth, to discuss truth or to discover another person's perspective, their only aim is to appear superior and dominate.
If you are over 50, I am quite sure you have encountered these people. When they are in the room there is no rest for anyone, what was good turns ugly as soon as these people open their mouths.
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
With the onset of the self esteem teaching we see a growing mentality of contentiousness, so much so it seems almost normal. At one time this sort of person was the strange and selfish fringe element of our culture. But now it is mainstream and common.
Proverbs 29:11
"A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back."
Gracious people listen to discover the message and respond in truth. Winning a conversation is not important to the gracious person, only learning about others and enhancing truth is what is important.
Proverbs 18:6
"A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating."
Proverbs 29:9
"If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet."
The fool mocks, demeans and antagonizes others to elevate himself. He is so foolish that he thinks to be a superior person he must devalue others. Knowing truth is not nearly as important to the fool as "appearing" to know the truth. Appearances are far more important to the fool than truth or love.
The fool only loves those who elevate them, but it is not real love, it is a friendliness that only lasts as long as their friend praises and worships them. This person is easily discerned, all one has to do is mildly disagree with them and the rage emerges like a storm out of no where.
We know how angry a superior minded person can get by watching the tactics of the devil. He hated that he could not be above God, so he rages every day against those who love God. Mocking, intimidating, manipulating and demeaning them any way he can to cause frustration and division.
This description of the devil is the same description of the foolish narcissist. Why? Because the foolish narcissist is controlled by the devil through his thoughts. The devil works on the minds of those who want to be superior. The devil appeals to the natural pride in a man, filling his head with all kinds of self aggrandizing thoughts while creating anger against those who will not worship him.
Ephesians 6:12-13 "12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this world's darkness, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore take up the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground, and having done everything, to stand.…"
If you are a narcissist confess it to God and asked to be cleansed of it to be back in a right relationships with Him.
If you are the target of narcissists, confess the propensity to fight back with the narcissist as well as making them gods in your life every time you allowed them to manipulate you. When we allow these people to control our emotions we have made them gods in our lives. Get rid of the idols in our minds, choose to think with the mind of Christ and these self appointed gods will have no affect on our responses or our walk with Christ.
When we know what the narcissist is doing, then we become responsible to avoid feeding the beast. Do not fight with these disordered characters, do not validate their foolishness by responding to them. The more we respond, the more they are empowered to continue. We become enablers when we give them power through our responses.
Notice one things about these people, they never say, "you have a good point." They never say, "I am sorry I offended you", and they never admit when they were wrong, ever!!!!
Galatians 1:10 "10 Am I now seeking the approval of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Lastly, we must never allow the enablers of the narcissist to intimidate us into remaining in the room with the narcissist. There will be those who judge us as mean for not remaining friends with abusers. Those who are the enablers, the ones who validate the narcissist, must also be removed from our lives. They will pressure us to do what is against God to remain friends with wicked people.
Exodus 20:3-11
"3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me." God clearly says that we are not to hold any man in so regard that we follow that man instead of God's direction.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 tells us to remove ourselves from evil men, He even tells us just how bad they will become. Obey God not man.
I have seen a phenomena in Pentecostal churches that I have visited. The propensity to elevate feelings above Christ. Because of this the people who attended were willing to throw the principles of the Bible under the bus to follow their feelings.
Often one sentence from scripture was removed and place with other passages out of context to construct a desired belief. We see this in other churches too, but the most dramatic I have seen has been in the Pentecostal groups. Since feelings are facts to those who must have their spiritual high, they depend on excitement and euphoria to continue a sense of spirituality. Its fleshly and demonically inspired.
When they were told what they did or said was not Biblical they would tell me that the Holy Spirit told them. When I asserted that the Holy Spirit does not violate His own word and that who they heard was not the Holy Spirit, then they would become angered and fight to defend their disobedience.
I have had Pentecostals twist the Bible to such a degree that it had no resemblance to the meanings God intended. "Out of context" teachings are common in these gatherings, as long as everyone "feels" good about them.
I have even attended Pentecostal women's Bible studies in which the leader would ask the attendees to read a Scripture and then asked "what does that passage mean to you."
When someone asks a woman in the group their interpretation of a Scripture, they are giving the authority of interpretation over to that person instead of God. This makes the Bible a subjective book without accuracy and without authority.
1 Peter 1:20-21 " 20 Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture comes from the prophet’s own interpretation. 21 For no prophecy was ever brought about through human initiative, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.…"
Since extra Biblical doctrine is added to enhance the emotional experience, there is a hostility that arises when anyone attempts to show the errors that emerge from extracting Scripture from its context.
In one group I attended the leader, who was a woman, became gleeful and excited to tell the group there were angels walking around their chairs. I sat completely unemotional while the room erupted in claps and shouts of amen. I never figured out why that woman told us that, since angels are all around us all the time, we just can't see them. The only reason I could figure that she would tell everyone is that she was elevating herself as one who had something special to see things the others could not see.
Of course she couldn't prove they were there, nor would it matter, we have no need to see angels.
This is the kind of silliness we see happening regularly in the Pentecostal gatherings, they must have an experience they can see or someone who saw it for them, to feel close to God. One can feel close to God while being very far away. Emotions lead us down a deceptive path that creates euphoria but is not real.
2 Corinthians 5:7
"7 For we walk by faith, not by sight."
We see this same mentality in the Catholic church, there must be miracles seen and rituals performed to have a sense of closeness. Sadly this form of closeness does not bring us close to Christ, it detracts from our walk of faith. Faith being the substance of things not seen.
The more we must see with our eyes and do with our hands, the less faith we exhibit.
2 Corinthians 5:16-19 "16 Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer.
17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
18 Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, 19 namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation."
Our walk with Christ does not hang on events and feelings, it hangs on faith in Him, a daily walk continually consulting Him while praising Him above all experiences, even when life does not give us what we would like, we still praise Him.
Why do people continue to follow false prophets even when they have been proven to be false?
Ellen G. White had numerous false prophesies, here are some of them;
1. She said that "Old Jerusalem never would be built up",
2. She prophesied that she would be alive during the rapture.
3. She prophesied that Christ would return before slavery was abolished.
4. She said that Adventists living in 1856 would see the rapture.
All of these prophesies were wrong, and yet those who read her writings and follow her teachings still hang onto her as a church prophetess.
Deuteronomy 18:21-22 "…21 You may ask in your heart, “How can we recognize a message that the LORD has not spoken?” 22 When a prophet speaks in the name of the LORD and the message does not come to pass or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. The prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him."
The Adventist church asserts this: "The Gift of Prophecy: One of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is prophecy. This gift is an identifying mark of the remnant church and was manifested in the ministry of Ellen G. White.
When the works of Ellen G. White are used more than the Bible in any gathering, we can assume that Ellen G. White takes priority over Christ and His Word.
She was a false prophet and yet this organization continues to elevate her to prophet status, directly against the teachings of the Bible.
The WAY one thinks will determine their life path. Those who are full of self will always interpret things in terms of the effect on them. Others are not very important to them unless those others can enhance their own life in some way.
It comes down to the WAY the narcissist processes information. They really don't have control over their own mind, the devil is placing thoughts and emotions that are not true, just as he did in the garden with Eve.
He brought thinking to Eve that made her begin to ponder a WAY that was different from what she would have thought before she heard the lies. It was her choice to believe the lies, but the devil planted the seeds of doubt toward God that led her down a path of further deception.
Why did Even not chastise the devil and refuse to believe him because of the knowledge she had of God? That's a very good question isn't it?!
Eve didn't chastise the devil nor did she reject what he was saying because she sort of liked the idea that she could be like God. She embraced the lies to elevate self.
The devil lied against God, used flattery toward Eve and used manipulation to entice, appealing to pride in Eve.
Genesis 3:4-6 "…4“ You will not surely die,” the serpent told her. 5 “For God knows that in the day you eat of it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eyes, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom, she took the fruit and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, and he ate it.…"
This is what we notice in gossip, the person gossiping loves to push others down in the eyes of the hearer to elevate themselves. The devil has only one foundational tactic, that is to diminish his target, deceiving them to make them believe others are beneath them, in order to raise themselves up.
Proverbs 26:24-28
"24 He who hates disguises it with his lips,
But he lays up deceit in his heart.
25 When he speaks graciously, do not believe him,
For there are seven abominations in his heart.
26 Though his hatred covers itself with guile,
His wickedness will be revealed before the assembly.
27 He who digs a pit will fall into it,
And he who rolls a stone, it will come back on him.
28 A lying tongue hates those it crushes,
And a flattering mouth works ruin."
This is exactly what the devil did in heaven when he was thrown out and what he did with Eve in the garden to diminish God in her eyes. If he could get the other demons and Eve to see God as the "bad one", then he could get his followers to worship him while hating God.
This principle works well for the devil in human relationships too. When we know that the devil is behind all our relationship problems as well as everything else in the world, we can be at ease when we recognize his strategies.
Keep in mind the devil was not just selfish he was destructive, his goal was to destroy anyone in his path, anyone who might not worship him and to take as many people and devils to hell with him as he can.
The devil has one mission, that is to ruin the witness of believes and to cause unbelievers to hate Christians.These maneuvers are an attack against God. He uses his minions to place thoughts in the minds of people to cause reactions against one another and even toward God.
We do not have to be pawns in the devil's schemes, we can rise above it to be Christlike, no matter who or what comes against us.
Ephesians 6:10-12 "10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can make your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this world’s darkness, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Remember that we are living in the last days, the days of increasing evil, we must recognize it for what it is, call it out and then run from those who enjoy and defend their sinfulness.
Thinking highly of oneself is the foundation for a downfall.
Ecclesiastes 7:16
"Do not be excessively righteous and do not be overly wise. Why should you ruin yourself?"
