Man has a propensity to make excuses for their own behavior, especially when they know they have sinned.
In my observations I notice that people make up in their own minds the things they wish to believe, not what is truth, and pass it on as gossip against the ones for which they have contempt.
The narcissist must believe you are a bad person to allow them an excuse to despise you. In the effort to make this solidified in their own mind they create a false view of your character as well as distorting events.
Jealousy is often at the root of these mean spirited behaviors. Those who wish to hate others are usually intimidated by the confidence and resolve of the target to remain true to their own beliefs. The narcissist must have followers , if you do not follow them, you are despised.
These demonically controlled people pick and poke at you regularly hoping for a strong defensiveness from you, to be able to accuse you of being out of control.
This is the "bully affect", in my words, in which the bully distorts events, picks at you until you are raw and then gloats when you become angry.
There is a solution to managing these haters, that is to refuse to engage in their game of poke. When they do such things do not respond, remain silent, calmly and quietly leave the room, even the gathering.
The narcissist loves to cause conflict. When they have only themselves to see, they might learn the important boundary, that is they get no narcissistic food from watching their target melt down. That boundary being to completely ignore them when they are having one of their tantrums. Conflict is food for the narcissist.
Having lived with raging, arrogant, vulgar and rude people all through my growing up years I have a knowledge of how this works.
Proverbs 14:15-17 "…15 The simple man believes every word, but the prudent man watches his steps. 16 A wise man fears and turns from evil, but a fool is careless and reckless. 17 A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a devious man is hated.…"
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Fools do not listen, they do not ponder another viewpoint other than their own and they are angry when someone else does not follow their way.
Proverbs 29:11
"A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back."
A wise man does not engage with fools, they avoid them.
Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
The reason it is impossible to work out a conflict with a fool is the ranting and raving that occurs when they are confronted with their own sin against us. The refusal to admit what they did or even make us believe it was our fault.
When someone is a "covert" narcissist their tactics are a little different. They feign being the victim even with tears to manipulate our feelings. I have seen this several times in my life.
Instead of addressing and facing what the covert narcissist did they evoke emotion in the one they harmed to feel bad about confronting them. One never gets to a resolution of the problem because the covert diverts all feelings and emotions toward how badly you made them feel.
When there is an attempt to bring the covert narcissist back to the issue at hand, they turn their tears into rage. The "turning on a dime" emotionally, in the same conversation is a clear sign of manipulation. The tears were a tactic or response to being caught and the raging is a tactic to keep the conversation away from the covert's issues.
When someone is blubbering with crocodile tears one minute and then raging the next, we know this one is guilty of what they have been confronted about.
A humble, kind and loving person is not likely to do mean things to people in the first place, but if they offend someone without realizing it they generally feel ashamed and apologize quickly. The humble, loving person hates to hurt others, even their enemies.
The humble, kind person is more concerned with doing and being what is right than they are with preserving a false persona of perfection to others.
When we love God we are more likely to "straight talk", that is to make things clear without flattery and without manipulation, in order to come to a solution. The narcissist wants no solutions, they only want power over others.
Several times in my life I made an effort to have conversations with narcissists, in every case the conversation blew up into denial, foolishness and out and out attacks. This is when we know what we are dealing with, the tantrum of the selfish self absorbed and self entitled narcissist.
These people will even accuse you of refusing to communicate when they were the ones who shut down the attempts at communication. Let it be clear the narcissist will accuse us of what they are doing and we are not. Its a favorite tactic. Sadly it manages to fool good hearted people. Good hearted people are more likely to evaluate themselves to see if they were at fault in some way.
The good hearted person evaluates themselves when in their heart of hearts they know they didn't do anything to deserve the blow up that occurred. This is why I am driven to educate people on the tactics and antics of the narcissist. When we know what someone is doing and that they are doing it deliberately, it will not cause anything in us.
We can remain steady and unreactive all the time without the burden of false guilt.
Matthew 5:11
“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account."
Proverbs 11:9
"With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered."
Keep looking up, soon we will not have these things to contend with anymore. Also remember that we are not fighting against flesh and blood. When a "person" rages irrationally at us, then we can know that a demon is controlling them.
Fighting against a person who is being controlled by a demon is like pounding ones head against a brick wall.
The best thing to do is fight the demon in prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and remove ourselves from those who will refuse to be delivered.
Romans 12:19
"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
James 1:2-4
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
Bottom Line: Allow God to do our fighting for us, He knows better than we what is needed.
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
Monday, December 31, 2018
The Disunity of the Family has Destroyed a Nation
There is division in the home when two married people have separate bank accounts!
When a couple goes through life as a unit, no one will be seen as lesser, no one will be dismissed as irrelevant.
When there is solidarity of oneness in the marriage there will be unity of mind. That unity is not based on compromise but on the Word of God.
If one party will not obey God then there is disunity. When one party will not fulfill their roles as described in the Scriptures then there is chaos.
Ladies, God gave us the job of homemaker, the keeper of the home is vital to the family. We cannot measure our role by its effectiveness. We must obey even when things don't appear effective. We never know how God will use our obedience.,
Our feminist culture promotes a woman being a separate individual from her husband. They have managed to fragment the family, produce pride and willfulness in the women causing the family unit to disintegrate. Not to mention resentment in the men for lack of support from their wives at home.
The self esteem teaching didn't work, the feminism didn't work, the willfulness didn't work and the pride has over taken the culture to the point of no return.
The feminists, the globalists and the pagans are rejoicing right now as they see the destruction of the family and the nation.
Thank the Lord we knew this was coming because of prophesy and we know the end of the story. Our hope is great, the worse things get the sooner we will be going home.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Luke 21:28
"28 But when these things begin to take place, straighten up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”
Hallelujah!!!!
When a couple goes through life as a unit, no one will be seen as lesser, no one will be dismissed as irrelevant.
When there is solidarity of oneness in the marriage there will be unity of mind. That unity is not based on compromise but on the Word of God.
If one party will not obey God then there is disunity. When one party will not fulfill their roles as described in the Scriptures then there is chaos.
Ladies, God gave us the job of homemaker, the keeper of the home is vital to the family. We cannot measure our role by its effectiveness. We must obey even when things don't appear effective. We never know how God will use our obedience.,
Our feminist culture promotes a woman being a separate individual from her husband. They have managed to fragment the family, produce pride and willfulness in the women causing the family unit to disintegrate. Not to mention resentment in the men for lack of support from their wives at home.
The self esteem teaching didn't work, the feminism didn't work, the willfulness didn't work and the pride has over taken the culture to the point of no return.
The feminists, the globalists and the pagans are rejoicing right now as they see the destruction of the family and the nation.
Thank the Lord we knew this was coming because of prophesy and we know the end of the story. Our hope is great, the worse things get the sooner we will be going home.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Luke 21:28
"28 But when these things begin to take place, straighten up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”
Hallelujah!!!!
Idolatry in the Home
Some women idolize their husbands, placing the teaching of their husband above God. When a husband is not obeying the Word then the wife must tell him, helping him to get back on track. Helpmeet is a big word it encompasses all of life's struggles. If we love our husbands our greatest goal is to help them follow Christ.
The Prayer of the Atheist
There is no such thing as an atheist. There are only people who deliberately deny Christ knowing He exists. The Bible says "only a fool says there is no God." I am told the original text actually conveys that "only a fool says no to God."
Many years ago an atheist who knew I was a Christian came to me to ask for prayer. One who does not believe there is a God would ask for prayer only if they knew there is a God.
This Jewish man asked for prayer from me because he said I had a special "in" with God. He was right! He knew God would listen to me and would not listen to him.
I didn't tell this man God wouldn't listen to him, he just knew that he had rejected God and that God would not listen. Doesn't it make sense that we would not listen to a person who is constantly denying our existence? It makes sense to me.
I find it interesting that when there is a disaster the churches fill up for a few weeks with those who are fearful and need to feel there is someone bigger than they who can protect them.
When the fear passes and things get back to normal the churches decline once again. If our friends used us the way many use God, we would get new friends.
Wanting God's help while all the time denying Him, is hypocrisy, nothing close to love for Him.
Proverbs 1:25-27 "…25 because you neglected all my counsel, and wanted none of my correction, 26 in turn I will mock your calamity; I will sneer when terror strikes you, 27 when your dread comes like a storm, and your destruction like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish overwhelm you."
There is only one prayer of the atheist that God will answer and that is the prayer of repentance. When an atheist decides he has been a fool and needs to be cleansed from His sin, then is when God will hear.
Many years ago an atheist who knew I was a Christian came to me to ask for prayer. One who does not believe there is a God would ask for prayer only if they knew there is a God.
This Jewish man asked for prayer from me because he said I had a special "in" with God. He was right! He knew God would listen to me and would not listen to him.
I didn't tell this man God wouldn't listen to him, he just knew that he had rejected God and that God would not listen. Doesn't it make sense that we would not listen to a person who is constantly denying our existence? It makes sense to me.
I find it interesting that when there is a disaster the churches fill up for a few weeks with those who are fearful and need to feel there is someone bigger than they who can protect them.
When the fear passes and things get back to normal the churches decline once again. If our friends used us the way many use God, we would get new friends.
Wanting God's help while all the time denying Him, is hypocrisy, nothing close to love for Him.
Proverbs 1:25-27 "…25 because you neglected all my counsel, and wanted none of my correction, 26 in turn I will mock your calamity; I will sneer when terror strikes you, 27 when your dread comes like a storm, and your destruction like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish overwhelm you."
There is only one prayer of the atheist that God will answer and that is the prayer of repentance. When an atheist decides he has been a fool and needs to be cleansed from His sin, then is when God will hear.
Sunday, December 30, 2018
Why Would We Want a Criminal to Like Us?
I would like to share this because there are so many children who are being bullied at school and different places who feel sad and unloved. Some are even bullied at home as I was and even beyond into adult hood, the bullying persists.
I wrote a response to someone who was concerned about the bullying that has been going on. I want to encourage all those who have been bullied and even are being bullied now.
The world is full of bullies, more than ever before. Our response to them can make all the difference in our emotional and spiritual growth.
Those who leave others out when they think you are not "cool enough", have little to no character. They are locked into being manipulated and controlled by others.
It is a joy when we are able to enjoy life even when we are not surrounded by others. The need to continually impress others is bondage. If we are not accepted for ourselves then there is no joy in pretending for others.
I feel the pain of those children who are rejected, mocked and excluded, this has been my experience for most of my life. Those who bully like to make it appear as though it is our own fault. But in reality it often has nothing to do with us. Their inability to accept us the way we are made, is the problem.
We do not dress the way they do, we don't do the things they do or like the same things they do, making us a target for abuse.
Here was my response to the post about the bullied child:
"I praise God for this difficulty. Those that are popular usually turn out badly. I was rejected and all the people I know who were rejected are more free to develop their own character apart from pressure from the group. I know it hurts now, but it may be a blessing in disguise. Besides that, who wants to be friends with snobs who think they are better." (Unquote)
I remember an Andy Griffith show many years ago that brought this concept home. Andy had placed someone in jail, but didn't want to offend the prisoner because of something he wanted out of him Opie, the child was angry at the way the prisoner disrespected his father so he walked up to the bars and kicked the prisoners shin through the bars.
Andy quickly apologized to the prisoner for what Opie did and explained to Opie that he should do that, it might make the prisoner not like us.
The classic and unforgettable response never left my mind in all these years, Opie asked the question quite adamantly, "why would we want a criminal to like us?"
It is interesting that so many Christians work so hard to make the unsaved like them, while the unsaved are in the middle of hating God. This is not loyalty to God, this is loyalty to the unsaved.
We are not told to get people to like us or God, we are told to bring the gospel in words that show them their need for salvation through Christ and the cleansing of their sin available to them through faith in Christ.
When our focus is to get people to like us, we come in bondage to their whims and manipulations. When we preach truth whether or not anyone will like us, then we have freedom to tell the truth without fear.
I wrote a response to someone who was concerned about the bullying that has been going on. I want to encourage all those who have been bullied and even are being bullied now.
The world is full of bullies, more than ever before. Our response to them can make all the difference in our emotional and spiritual growth.
Those who leave others out when they think you are not "cool enough", have little to no character. They are locked into being manipulated and controlled by others.
It is a joy when we are able to enjoy life even when we are not surrounded by others. The need to continually impress others is bondage. If we are not accepted for ourselves then there is no joy in pretending for others.
I feel the pain of those children who are rejected, mocked and excluded, this has been my experience for most of my life. Those who bully like to make it appear as though it is our own fault. But in reality it often has nothing to do with us. Their inability to accept us the way we are made, is the problem.
We do not dress the way they do, we don't do the things they do or like the same things they do, making us a target for abuse.
Here was my response to the post about the bullied child:
"I praise God for this difficulty. Those that are popular usually turn out badly. I was rejected and all the people I know who were rejected are more free to develop their own character apart from pressure from the group. I know it hurts now, but it may be a blessing in disguise. Besides that, who wants to be friends with snobs who think they are better." (Unquote)
I remember an Andy Griffith show many years ago that brought this concept home. Andy had placed someone in jail, but didn't want to offend the prisoner because of something he wanted out of him Opie, the child was angry at the way the prisoner disrespected his father so he walked up to the bars and kicked the prisoners shin through the bars.
Andy quickly apologized to the prisoner for what Opie did and explained to Opie that he should do that, it might make the prisoner not like us.
The classic and unforgettable response never left my mind in all these years, Opie asked the question quite adamantly, "why would we want a criminal to like us?"
It is interesting that so many Christians work so hard to make the unsaved like them, while the unsaved are in the middle of hating God. This is not loyalty to God, this is loyalty to the unsaved.
We are not told to get people to like us or God, we are told to bring the gospel in words that show them their need for salvation through Christ and the cleansing of their sin available to them through faith in Christ.
When our focus is to get people to like us, we come in bondage to their whims and manipulations. When we preach truth whether or not anyone will like us, then we have freedom to tell the truth without fear.
Saturday, December 29, 2018
The Emotionalism of Pentecostalism
I am grieved every time a Pentecostal declares their sin was a blessing from God.
Since much of Pentecostalism is based on emotionalism, experience take priority over truth.
I see this all the time, those who want to do something that God condemns, they proclaim loudly that God gave it to them.
Yes, God may have given them what they wanted because of their stubbornness, not for their good but for their chastisement.
When an action violates the Word of God in the Scriptures then it is not from God. God does not bless disobedience toward Him. One may believe they are being blessed because they got what they wanted, however as time progresses the trials from those choices come, but those in them tend to deny or ignore the chastisement as being from God.
I think there are far too many people who don't understand that Jesus Christ is the Word, the Bible is that Word written down for our learning and obedience. I'll say it again, Jesus Christ is the essence of His Word written down in the Scriptures. He meant every Word He said.
When we dismiss the scriptures as nothing more than a book of good suggestions we are diminishing Jesus Christ Himself. There are those who would say they are Bible believing, but they do not go to the Word to find His truth, they go there to find loop holes and reasons they don't have to obey.
John 14:14-16 "14 If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. 15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever—…"
In John God says "if you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it", however, most people stop there and don't read the condition for this to happen, that is "if you love me you will keep my commandments."
When we say we love the Lord but are not interested in His principles or commands, then we are lying.
When a "Christian" rages because we have attempted to bring the Scriptures into the conversation, that is our clue that the one who rages is not interested in obedience, but only in getting their own way and being elevated in stature as a "good person."
If being elevated was not important then there would be no raging. If Christ were the focus then Scripture brought to bear would be seen as a blessing.
Psalm 119:104-106 "104 From Your precepts I get understanding; Therefore I hate every false way.
105 Your word is a lamp to my feet
And a light to my path.
106 I have sworn and I will confirm it,
That I will keep Your righteous ordinances.
Pretty strong words there in God's Word: "I hate every false way."
Think about it!
Since much of Pentecostalism is based on emotionalism, experience take priority over truth.
I see this all the time, those who want to do something that God condemns, they proclaim loudly that God gave it to them.
Yes, God may have given them what they wanted because of their stubbornness, not for their good but for their chastisement.
When an action violates the Word of God in the Scriptures then it is not from God. God does not bless disobedience toward Him. One may believe they are being blessed because they got what they wanted, however as time progresses the trials from those choices come, but those in them tend to deny or ignore the chastisement as being from God.
I think there are far too many people who don't understand that Jesus Christ is the Word, the Bible is that Word written down for our learning and obedience. I'll say it again, Jesus Christ is the essence of His Word written down in the Scriptures. He meant every Word He said.
When we dismiss the scriptures as nothing more than a book of good suggestions we are diminishing Jesus Christ Himself. There are those who would say they are Bible believing, but they do not go to the Word to find His truth, they go there to find loop holes and reasons they don't have to obey.
John 14:14-16 "14 If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. 15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever—…"
In John God says "if you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it", however, most people stop there and don't read the condition for this to happen, that is "if you love me you will keep my commandments."
When we say we love the Lord but are not interested in His principles or commands, then we are lying.
When a "Christian" rages because we have attempted to bring the Scriptures into the conversation, that is our clue that the one who rages is not interested in obedience, but only in getting their own way and being elevated in stature as a "good person."
If being elevated was not important then there would be no raging. If Christ were the focus then Scripture brought to bear would be seen as a blessing.
Psalm 119:104-106 "104 From Your precepts I get understanding; Therefore I hate every false way.
105 Your word is a lamp to my feet
And a light to my path.
106 I have sworn and I will confirm it,
That I will keep Your righteous ordinances.
Pretty strong words there in God's Word: "I hate every false way."
Think about it!
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