Going Home Soon

Gossip and the Feathers

No one can "rude or mean" someone into accepting Christ. We must show the love and concern of Christ when we show others their sin and need for repentance to become born again.

Those who think if they are superior enough, mean enough or intimidating enough they can shame others into accepting Christ they are operating from their own arrogance and not the love of Christ.

Those who judge things according to their own idea of righteousness not supported by Scripture are deeply involved in self-exaltation committed to self-glory and not the love of Christ.

When we love people and Christ we will weep for them when they sin, not glorying in glee that we are above someone else.

There is some truth to the idea that "except for the grace of God there go I." We have all sinned, some bigger than others but no one deserved to be rescued by Christ through faith in His work on the cross, NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON.

Since all have fallen short of the glory of God and all were headed to hell before they repented and trusted in Christ, then all must have compassion for the lost. Those who lack compassion for the lost will never weep over a Christian sibling who has fallen and confessed their sin. Those who glory in the fall of others are themselves likely unsaved and headed to hell.

As born-again believers, we ought to be saddened and grieved when a brother or sister falls. We ought to be broken along with the believer who is confessing to be cleansed while helping to restore them to fellowship.

If anyone comes to you in anger to discuss a matter, tell them to come back when they are no longer angry. An angry person who seeks to intimidate through rage will not be open to your side of the story. They will not listen they will only shut you down, they want their own say but will not want you to bring another side to it. Someone who has been wronged will come to discuss, which means each person talks and each person listens to learn.

If anyone comes desiring to fight they will not be someone who hears anything you say. The goal for the born-again believer is to discuss to resolve something. The fighter only wants to bludgeon to win over you.

If a born-again believer does not confess we are to keep our distance from them until they are grieved over their sin enough to confess it.

John 1:9

"9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

1 Timothy 5:22 "22 Do not be too quick in the laying on of hands and thereby share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure"

The reason for our rejection of a born-again believer who is in sin, is not to punish them but o show them the seriousness of their actions and that we do not partake in their sin by encouraging them in it. To continue friendly contact with a sinning sibling is to help them remain in their sin, this is not love. Love is to encourage them through isolation to confess and be cleansed of their sin restoring them to fellowship.

The need for confession of sin has been removed from modern gatherings infecting the rest of the gathering to feel no shame over sin. In fact, the one who confronts sin to cause confession and cleansing is the one who is beaten up by others in our modern day.

1 Timothy 5:20, "As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear."

Proverbs 27:5-7 "…5 Better an open rebuke than love that is concealed. 6 The wounds of a friend are faithful, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. 7 The soul that is full loathes honey, but to a hungry soul, any bitter thing is sweet.…"

Proverbs 28:23

"He who rebukes a man will later find more favor than one who flatters with his tongue."

We are never to rebuke anyone for past forgiven sins as though they cannot be restored, this is arrogance and glee over the fall of another. Those who do this must be rebuked themselves, they walk in the sin of pride and unforgiveness.

If someone hears gossip about someone else they have no right or business to forgive or not to forgive if the sin was not against them. Forgiveness is given by God and the person they offended, not anyone else.

If someone walks up to you and says they forgive you for something you did to someone else they are out of line. They have no business taking on the charge of forgiveness for another person.

In other words, if the sin was not against you, mind your own business and do not make judgments about anything that was not done to you personally.

Those who love Christ also love to forgive a broken repentant soul. They weep with them, they do not seek to find past forgiven sins to glory about to feel superior.

We only have the power to forgive those who have sinned against us personally when they were repentant. The sins of others against others are not our business. We can show empathy when someone has been wronged but the confession is not for us and the forgiveness is not ours to give. Only busybodies attempt to insert themselves into the relationships of others that have nothing to do with them.

However, if we see someone sinning against another person then we have the responsibility to speak up immediately and rebuke the sinner.

1 Timothy 5:19-21 "…19 Do not entertain an accusation against an elder, except on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 20 But those who persist in sin should be rebuked in front of everyone, so that the others will stand in fear of sin. 21 I solemnly charge you before God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels to maintain these principles without bias, and to do nothing out of partiality.…"

Gossip is always embellished with bobbles and snippets of trinkets that the one who gossips wishes to manipulate. the hearer into believing The news media is like this, they leave out important information that helps the understanding in order to divert the attention of the hearer onto a different train of thought often nothing like what really happened.

Gossipers love to embellish to sway the way you think about someone. It is one thing to show empathy toward a trusted friend who is sharing their plight and quite another to pass it to another person with added verbiage that are only personal thoughts about what could have been happening that were never conveyed by their friend.

Wicked people love their gossip, they thrive on demeaning those they are jealous of and who cannot defend themselves.

I once heard a story about how gossip works. Someone takes a feather pillow to a high hill where the wind is wildly blowing. They slit the pillow open and watch the feathers fly in the wind. Now go try to get back every feather, it cannot be done. When the gossip flies like feathers in the wind people who find the feather will want to hang onto it and even pass it to others. It is impossible to get the feathers back or to prevent them from being passed to others.

One thing for sure as I have seen happen, those who gossip always embellish with their own ideas and they always believe the first thing they heard even if the truth came out they still remain faithful to the lie they heard first.

Don't gossip and don't listen to gossip, if you hear it before you can stop it, refuse to repeat it, and refuse to act upon it.

Ephesians 4:29

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Proverbs 6:16-19

"There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers."

Proverbs 16:28

"A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends."

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Our Spiritual Nature was Changed

Our Spiritual nature according to Galatians 5:22-23 will lead us to seek Christ in us for our actions. We will know the right way to act because He is working in us to be like Him.

2 Corinthians 5:17-19 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation."

Everything about us is changed we no longer think the same way we used to think.

1 Corinthians 2:16

“For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ."

Romans 12:2

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

WHAT IS A TRUE CHRISTIAN | Are you saved or self deceived?

Arrogance vs. Boldness

When our confidence is in ourselves then there is arrogance. When our confidence is in Jesus Christ then there is boldness and love.

Expectations or Obedience

I gave up expectations a long time ago when I trusted Christ. He knows what will happen and why, my job is to be obedient to Him.

Expecting people to change is a form of co-dependency. We cannot make anyone desire what is right and we cannot talk long enough for rebellious people to self-reflect. And, above all we cannot allow the rebellious person to influence our own walk.

All we can do and are called to do is bring the truth and leave all the results up to God.

Having expectations can be a way of refusing to trust Christ. We expect things we want or something based on someone's past. Or we have expectations based on the desires of others for us. These expectations can be inaccurate and even disobedient to God's purposes.

When we cannot know the future or the intricate need of another person's heart, we cannot have expectations. We can sometimes know if someone is a pretender never having been changed by Christ but we cannot know what God is doing now in them or will do in the future.

Trusting Christ is obeying Him without expecting the things we desire or the things that pop into our minds out of our insecurities and stubbornness.

Having expectations of others is a form of desiring control over them.

When we walk with Christ we have no need for expectations or control over others, we need only to seek Christ for His marching orders and obey what He says.

Psalm 118:8

"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man."

Micah 7:5

"Put no trust in a neighbor; have no confidence in a friend; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your arms;"

Jeremiah 17:5

"Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord."

Psalm 118:9

"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes."

God instructed us to love our enemies, which means we do no harm to them and when they cross our paths we are respectful and kind. However, this does not mean that our enemies will be our best friends. It also does not mean that we remain silent about the truth whether or not the enemy wants to hear it.

Our close friends ought to be those who love Christ as much as we do even if we are on different spiritual levels. Some people are wiser having walked with the Lord longer, while others are new believers just beginning their walk. The wiser ones ought to be teaching the newbies. The newbies ought to be wanting to be learning from those who have known the Lord longer while always comparing what the older believer says with the Word of God. The trust of the Newbie must be in Christ and His Word as they listen to the wiser older believer.

Many people who have been Christians for a long time have been steeped in psychology and modern thinking will misguide the new believer.

I once heard of a Christian man who counseled a new believer, a woman, that in order to obey her husband fully she should look at porn with him. If she didn't want to look at it she was disobedient to her husband. This was advice from hell itself. Satan loved this advice, it place pressure on a woman who wanted to follow Christ in the position of dishonoring God to obey a rebellious and evil husband. It also placed wicked and disgusting pictures in her mind that can never be completely removed. This "so called" Christian brother who counseled this may not have been born-again at all.

We are never to disobey God to obey a husband. That would make the husband the god in our lives.

Acts 5:29 "29 But Peter and the other apostles replied, “We must obey God rather than men."

Psalm 101:3

I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me.

Psalm 119:37

Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things, and give me life in your ways.

Matthew 5:28

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

God says in Philippians 4:8 the things we are to think about. We are to refuse to be led into sin by anyone no matter who they are or what authority they think they have over us. At the end of the day, Christ is our authority. We can obey others only in so much as they obey God.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Every believer will stand before the Lord alone and will have no excuse for their actions that disobeyed Him. They will not be able to blame their husbands for their sin of placing the husband above God.

If you read the story of Abigail in the Bible you see that we are not to obey our husbands in all things. We are to obey them when they obey God.

Reading the Word in Context

Too many parents believe they can "train" their children to be Christians and when they are old they will not depart from it. This is a passage from the Bible in part but in the total Biblical understanding it does not hold up.

God gives us many general principles that are the best way to do things, without a guarantee that our children will become what we want them to by our training.

No one can train another person to be a Christian. All we can do is present the message of the gospel, and have righteous rules for the family and at the end of the day, the children must make their own choice.

1 Corinthians 3:6-8

"6 I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.

7 So then neither is he that plants any thing, neither he that waters; but God that gives the increase.

8 Now he that plants and he that waters are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labor."

Yes, we are responsible to train them and they are responsible to accept that training. When they reject it, that is on them.

Arrogant and self-righteous young people raising children have a tendency to blame parents for how children turn out. This is not only a lack of Biblical knowledge it is prideful to think that we can do everything perfectly to cause our children to obey Christ. That would be nothing more than manipulation.

Ezekiel 18:20-21 "20 The soul who sins is the one who will die. A son will not bear the iniquity of his father, and a father will not bear the iniquity of his son. The righteousness of the righteous man will fall upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked man will fall upon him. 21 But if the wicked man turns from all the sins he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is just and right, he will surely live; he will not die.…"

I have known adults who were raised in a Christian environment with all the truth given to them necessary for repenting and becoming born-again and yet the child or children chose the way of the world rejecting Christ in their heart when they left their parent's home.

While it is true that "more is caught than taught", our example in living out the way we talk has more power than our words, there will be pompous and independently-minded children who will go the easy road to fit into the world. After all, the devil is very clever in making parents look bad and the world look wildly fun.

In other words, the real heart of the child is revealed when they leave home and begin making their own choices, no longer under their parent's rule, they often choose the world.

I see too often too that the parents of these rebellious children give up and give in to keep the child in their lives. These parents know they might lose their child if they do not endorse the sinful lifestyle. They also know they may be cut off from their grandchildren.

While I have prayed often for my children and grandchildren, I cannot make them first in my life, it is Christ Who is first. If I lose everything to follow Christ then so be it.

We are responsible to do our best as we raise our children, however, the responsibility to trust in Christ for themselves is on the child.

It is foolish to judge a parent based on the lifestyle of the adult children. Those who wish to appear superior will judge others while their own household is lacking in faith, we know this because those who judge others have a heart problem that will infect their entire family. Pride, self-righteousness and resistance to correction in the Word is present in households that have a tendency to base their judging on how good they think they are doing. Pride is a family destroyer.

I have known adult children who came from evil family backgrounds but they trusted Christ somewhere along the way. I have known adult children who have been raised in church and on Bible reading all their young lives who rejected Christ once they had left home.

Just remember, we are only the messengers, we must remain strong, speak truth often and walk the way we talk, this is our only responsibility. We are not responsible for the results of obedience to Christ, He will do His work we must trust Him for His work.

We have many spiritual brothers and sisters who have been through family rejection for their staunchness in remaining faithful to the gospel.

Luke 12:51-53

"Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. For from now on in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

Micah 7:6

"For the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house."

Our reward in heaven if far more amazing than anything we go through on this earth. Look up, seek Christ and stay strong and all the rejection will pale in comparison to our walk with the Lord and our coming inheritance.

Psalm 5:11

"But let all who take refuge in You be glad,

Let them ever sing for joy;

And may You shelter them,

That those who love Your name may exult in You."

Psalm 32:11

"Be glad in the Lord and rejoice you righteous ones;

And shout for joy, all you who are upright in heart."